The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)

It's a hot day in Texas and without trying Billie Jean raises the temperature of the local horn-dogs ever higher. One dumb-shit act of machismo by the worst of them leads to repercussions, which in turn leads to a teen-movie outlaw situation that’s utterly ridiculous but somehow entertaining.
Eighties teen movies were different to their modern equivalent; they were simpler, less hurried and usually a lot more fun.
The music of Billy Idol and Pat Benatar that’s used in the soundtrack fits the film’s vibe perfectly: an orchestrated story of safe rebellion in response to the underlying sting of acquiescence that accompanies growing up.

3 handwritten I.O.U notes out of 5

Maximum Overdrive (1986)

A passing meteor causes most (but inexplicably not all) vehicles to come alive and brutally attack their owners. The film is Stephen King’s only directorial credit. Despite what’s been written about it elsewhere and the universal panning it received, I think he does okay; certainly better than some other people have done to his works. (Hi, Mick.)
It’s as dumb as it sounds, but there are some chuckles to be had at the very black humour if you're in the mood for that kind of thing. I was. The kick-ass AC/DC soundtrack helps matters considerably.

2½ raucous rigs out of 5

The Simpsons Christmas Special (1989)

AKA: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire

As I recall, this was actually the very first episode of The Simpsons ever aired on TV. And what an auspicious debut it was! While it may seem dated by today’s standards, back in the day I remember this being incredible stuff. The animation seems cruder and primitive and the humor feels more innocent and wholesome; it’s hard to believe this came out 22 years ago. (Ugh.) If I were rating the entire first season, I would give it a 5 out of 5, but on its own as a standalone episode, I give it a hearty:

4 Santa's Helpers out of 5