Happy Birthday! Pretty standard children’s classic, and a holiday staple. Frosty’s animated by a magical hat, goes on some joyrides, then is promptly executed by dawn’s light. But he’ll be back next Christmas day! This idea could easily be turned into a horror movie. Watch it for the memories, to relive some of that lost childhood, or share it with your kids if you got ‘em. Spawned a sequel some 20 years later entitled Frosty Returns (starring John Goodman) which was mostly awful.
The third installment in the Vacation series is also the quintessential standalone movie about staying home for the holidays. It covers all of the usual bases; putting up Christmas decorations, putting up with family, putting up with the stresses of work and bonuses and all the bullshit that goes along with it. It's one of those movies that grows with you year after year until it can do no wrong; it becomes perfect. One of the most laugh-out-loud funniest movies and enjoyable parts of the season, as far as I'm concerned. Chevy Chase's incredulous line at the end says it all: I did it.
This is not a perfect film. But it's a film I flock to year and year again, so that's got to count for something. Essentially Charles Dickens meets Beetlejuice, this modern adaptation of the oft-told tale is probably the most consistently watchable as a whole. It's also pretty damn dark to boot. Elfman's score is an integral part of the charm, but Bill Murray holds his own too, along with Carol Kane, Karen Allen and Bobcat Goldthwait. At its heart, it's the same story you've heard repeated year after year, but it's the one I'll always cherish the most.
Just as the first one was hard to review, this one is equally difficult because it's essentially the same film. But that didn't keep me from loving it at 10, and I'm still the same immature kid I always was. Okay, so it's really improbable that the family would lose Kevin again (this time, as the title suggests, he's got the whole city to himself), but it's actually pretty fun and charming if you open up to it. You'd have to be a real Mr. Grumpy Pants to not get any basic enjoyment out of this film. That being said, I enjoy the gags, derivative as they may seem, and it's all quite goofy and harmless when you get down to it. There aren't many kids movies that feel the same way.
This is a tough one to nut. It's one of those movies that critics love lambasting, but it's also an essential part of my childhood. So this review is clearly slanted. Honestly, how could you be 8 years old at the time and not identify with the plight of poor Kevin McCallister? Invisible to his family, just wanting a whole cheese pizza to himself, and wishing he was left alone (oh god, I got it in spades). The booby traps in the latter part of the film are so much fun, I think it inspired a genre of children's film in itself. And of course, it all ends up being touching and tear-worthy at the end of the day (with one final note of laughter). This is just an awesomely fun movie period, and I'm proud to count it among my yearly Christmas celebration.
What would happen if you took the plot of Bad Teacher and placed it in the very capable hands of the writer and director of Juno? Well, you'd have a much better movie, for one. Former popular girl Charlize Theron now lives in shambles ghostwriting for a once popular young adult series and striving for some balance in her life. When she receives a "new baby" pic from an old flame, she decides to go back to her hometown and try to break up his marriage in order to be with him again. Believe me, it's a lot better than it sounds. Patton Oswalt is wonderful as the nerdy guy she once ignored. This is Diablo Cody's best work to date.
Alexander Payne (Sideways, About Schmidt) directs George Clooney (looking more and more like Cary Grant as he grows older) in this dramedy about a man coming to terms with his wife's imminent death. Faced with the prospect of being taken off life support (as per her will), it sends him on a journey across Hawaii, dealing with the emotions of friends and family and digging up buried secrets along the way. Even though the subject matter can be heavy at times, there are enough moments of well-placed levity to take you away from it all.
I remember seeing this movie for the first time in theatres and getting shivers down my spine as the 3D snow fell on the screen and all around me. This is one of those magical movies that makes you feel like a kid again. The motion capture technology is creepy enough to make it feel hyper-real (in a way that couldn't be duplicated with Beowulf or A Christmas Carol 3D), dark and dreamy; Tom Hanks is utilized to the max in 6 distinct roles (including the kid), which is also pretty creepy when you think about it. Repeated viewings of this film were not successful in replicating that wonderful feeling I felt while watching this for the first time (and hearing that beautiful Edward Scissorhands-ian score), but it still earns a solid:
A chef (Ewan McGregor) meets cute with a scientist (Eva Green). Meanwhile, the world is afflicted by a strange disease that manifests itself as powerful emotions followed by the loss of senses, one by one. If Blindness and Contagion come to mind, then you're on the right track. Explores the power of human will and adaptation against the harshest conditions the world has to offer. This is the saddest, most hopeless romance I've ever seen.
This one hits close to home. Eli Roth's not affiliated with the series anymore, but it's the same idea. Begins with the premise of The Hangover, albeit with a horror twist. Elite members of the Hunting Club pay to watch people get tortured. They get dispatched in more ways than one. Rinse. Repeat. Almost feels like an episode of CSI to me.
A writer is haunted by visions of his late wife and the mystery surrounding a lake house in this made-for-TV adaptation. Pierce Brosnan seems oddly out of place in this type of movie, but I warmed up to him by the second half. It's not terribly well-done, but it's okay. Yeah, that's the best you're going to get out of me. "It was okay."
Set to be released early next year, this dark, gritty, depressing-as-hell drama stars Tilda Swinton as a grief-stricken mother who reflects back on her son's trouble-ridden past, filled with anger and resentment. The character of Kevin is such an evil, conniving little shit, you can't help but sympathize with the poor woman. The conclusion is downright chilling. Tilda Swinton will earn accolades for her performance.
Depressed, suicidal comic book artist (Kevin Corrigan) lives with his passive-aggressive mother (Karen Black) and plots revenge on those responsible for ruining his life. One of those rare instances of the title telling you exactly what you're going to get in the movie. Cheesy and clever; the character of the dimwitted sheriff (Barry Bostwick) is one of the funniest ever committed to film.
Three friends who are going nowhere with their lives drop in on a relative for dinner and end up on a madcap adventure with crazy Uncle Rick, a foul-mouthed, drunken slob of a monster. He kidnaps them all and attempts to take them to Montreal (?), while a couple escape and end up in the clutches of the even crazier new age headtrip, Gunther. It's not half as amusing as it sounds and it gets old rather quickly. The only saving grace is that the character of Uncle Rick is so over the top, you have to pause and admire the actor for exactly how despicable he manages to make himself out to be.
A group of 30-something physically attractive friends (and one fat dude) decide to throw one last hurrah before they go off their separate ways and relive something that was missing from our generation: orgies. Kind of reminds me of the more Hollywood-ized version of Humpday (or an updated version of Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice). It's that kind of movie that gets you halfway there, but isn't kind enough to let you finish. I think that's really all that needs to be said.
A contender for the most depressing picture of the year. An angry, violent drunk stumbles into the charity shop of a kind, yet embittered Christian woman. Over the next few days, they become involved in each other's lives in a way that will forever change them. The pace is slow and deliberate, but never feels boring. It's one of those great "lonely people who find each other" movies that I'm so fond of, but with a dark twist on the genre.