Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair (2025)

Screened exactly twice in 2006 and 2011, this year finally marks the official wide release of the complete work, restoring it back to Tarantino's original unified vision, before it was insisted on being split into two volumes at the behest of Miramax's Harvey Weinstein. The result is a four-hour martial arts/exploitation/samurai epic (plus 15 minute intermission) with pacing that flows better as one cohesive whole, with some of the fat trimmed out of it.

Watching this 20 years after the fact in a packed theater makes it clear how well the material ages. Enormously entertaining and never boring, it's an homage to all the greats of the past, blending so many disparate styles in a pastiche of Americana, which doesn't take away from the artists it so liberally borrows from. As the ultimate revenge story (summed up in the title), it favors style over substance, but the mission is clear and the emotions are real: You're with The Bride every step of the way. It's not without its flaws, but there's no denying this is Cinema; there aren't many filmmakers left making epics of this caliber. To put it even more bluntly, this is just a cool fucking film with iconic visuals and a killer soundtrack. And Uma Thurman looks damn good doing it.

5 Deadly Vipers out of 5

Note: Exclusive to this 2025 print is a new chapter entitled "Yuki's Revenge," which was animated using the Unreal Engine, with Uma performing the voice acting and motion capture. Luckily, this is tacked on at the end of the credits and doesn't interrupt the flow of the film. You can view it in its entirety here.

Note 2: The original Nutshell reviews can be found here: Volume 1, Volume 2

Sisu: Road to Revenge (2025)

Sisu meets Mad Max: Fury Road. The one-man army is back and this time they send a Soviet officer (Stephen Lang) to finish him off. It's more of the same, but somehow I appreciated the theatrics a lot more, especially one such sequence on a train that kept building. It's completely stylish, over the top and bonkers.

3 pickaxes out of 5

Sisu (2022)

Deep within the Finnish Lapland, an old prospector strikes upon gold, but the Nazis try to steal it from him and the tough old coot won't go down without a fight. It's a largely wordless action flick with all the fat cut out of it. Basically, revenge distilled to raw, primal violence. It's rather repetitive in its string of brutal slaughter, but one never tires of seeing baddies get their just desserts.

2½ land mines out of 5

Anemone (2025)

Daniel Day-Lewis briefly comes out of retirement for his first film role since 2017's Phantom Thread. It's a gloomy drama about a hermit living in the woods that is visited by his estranged brother who tries to get him to make amends. What this mostly amounts to are a lot of slooow monologues set against the backdrop of gorgeous natural landscapes accompanied by ambient music. It's brooding and insistent, and there are some interesting visual sequences, but it doesn't really go anywhere worthwhile throughout the entirety of its 2-hour journey. The performances are standout, but that's not nearly my issue with it.

2 hailstorms out of 5

Dead of Winter (2025)

A grieving woman travels alone to a remote frozen lake in snowy Minnesota, stopping at a cabin to ask for directions but inadvertently stumbling into a low rent kidnapping plot. It's a very slow burn survival story, but packed with raw emotion and intense performances. Emma Thompson and Judy Greer do the heavy lifting and make the most out of this low-budget suspense thriller.

3 green tackleboxes out of 5

Keeper (2025)

A couple spending a romantic weekend at a secluded cabin in the woods find more than they bargained for. Weirdness and creepiness permeates every frame of this film. Does it all pay off in the end? Maybe or maybe not, but it's memorable in that way that good horror tends to stick around in the edges of your subconscious. Tatiana Maslany gives an insanely watchable performance.

3 bites of chocolate cake out of 5

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025)

After a hole opens up in her ceiling, a put upon woman is forced to relocate to a shoddy motel with her ailing daughter. This dark psychological drama really put me on edge. It's a good approximation of being alive, where people are demanding and you're trying your best, but it's never good enough. You're constantly being criticized and made to feel bad for your choices, while you try to find support but there's none to be found. This actually feels like a great companion piece to Die My Love or Nightbitch. In short, motherhood sucks.

3½ bottles of wine out of 5

Now You See Me, Now You Don't (2025)

The Horsemen are back and they're just as showy, obnoxious and improbable as ever. It's your basic diamond heist movie, except with magicians, illusionists and mentalists (oh my!) somehow always pulling one over on each other. It's exactly the same type of shit as the first two films, and this time you can add three more arrogant pricks to the roster. The only thing this film succeeds in doing is creating the title that they should have done for the second movie. 

1½ ace of diamonds out of 5

Note: No, I don't see the Magic Eye image above, either...

Zootopia 2 (2025)

Sequel to the popular Disney film about anthropomorphic animals, featuring the unlikely partnership of Judy Hopps (sexy bunny) and Nick Wilde (sly fox) on a slithery mystery adventure that threatens to expose the origins of their storied utopia. Not quite as enchanting as its predecessor, in some ways, this feels like The Bad Guys all over again, except these are clearly the good guys. It's cute, it's cuddly, it's colorful, it's innocuous. No one is changed for it.

And I'm just going to come right out and say it. I want to fuck that rabbit. 

2 gateways to furryism out of 5

Wicked: For Good (2025)

Paying off Act II of the wildly successful stage show was always going to be a gamble, but it's performed with enough aplomb to impress even the skeptics. Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo create real magic on the screen together as they repave the rest of the path to the Yellow Brick Road. The way this film gradually introduces the elements that would become The Wizard of Oz is satisfying, even when it feels shoehorned in. The first part is definitely the stronger one, with the better song numbers, and this one leaves certain plot elements up in the air, but at least it provides a definish close to the chapter.

3½ clock ticks out of 5

Note: I give both Wicked + For Good a combined score of 4 cyclones out of 5.

Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)

AKA: Il mondo di Yor (The World of Yor)

First off, we need to talk about that "Yor's World" theme song. It's a banger.

This is a tricky movie to nut because both the title and the poster is a spoiler, but that twist isn't revealed until well into the runtime. It's a stealth sci-fi film, displaced from time. It's far from greatness, but it earns points for originality. 

Funnily enough, I always confuse this movie with Gor and its sequel.

1½ medallions of unknown origin out of 5

That's enough of this totally unplanned detour. Back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II (1989)

An annoying kid in a terrible fucking wig and an old, fat wizard come across a warrior (but not that warrior) and a queen (but not that queen) in their quest for three magical totems to unite the kingdom. Or something like that. No surprise whatsoever, but this has nothing to do with the first film. Since this is a family film, it doesn't even have the gratuitous nudity to fall back on, so you realize the limited appeal of bad acting and incomprehensible, nonsense character names. Honestly, if you're still tuning in at this point, that's completely on you.

1 tree upskirt shot out of 5

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom (1985)

This one seems clearly inspired by The NeverEnding Story, but don't be fooled.

Recycling a ton of B-roll footage from other Roger Corman S&S cheapies, such as Sorceress and Deathstalker (as well as appropriating that overused theme from Battle Beyond the Stars), there's not a whole lot of plot here to speak of, but it throws in everything except the kitchen sink. A boy seeking a magic ring meets a middle-aged barbarian with a shag carpet by his side. It took me two attempts to get through this, it's so inscrutable. There's no denying this movie is crap, but there's something nostalgic about revisiting it all these years later.

1½ Yeti? Walking carpet? Some dude in a bleached Wookiee costume? out of 5

Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back (1989)

This sequel in name only stars Lana Clarkson as a completely new character that has nothing to do with the first movie, other than featuring a lot of rape and another topless scene on a torturer's rack. In fact, this one seems to have more in common with Robin Hood as they attempt to overthrow the crown. After awhile, I always seem to lose the plot somewhere along the way...

1 gratuitous mud wrestling out of 5

Barbarian Queen (1985)

After their village is destroyed, a tribe of warrior women set out for revenge.

Once Red Sonja came out, it inspired its own legion of knock-offs of kick-ass women slaughtering men (more or less in a state of undress). As someone who finds enjoyment even in the bad, you have to take it for what it is. Cheapy '80s trash (which I hesitate to write off completely) with its spirit in the right place.

2 rape reversals out of 5

Amazons (1986)

At a certain point, all of these movies start to blur together. What separates this one from the rest of the pack is a "tribe" of warrior women (well, two) and a lion cub posing as a lioness while playfully batting at its enemies. It's nice to look at, but it's tediously slow, not much happens and it's not very satisfying.

1½ rope crossings out of 5

Beastmaster III: The Eye of Braxus (1996)

Don't you hate when a film series randomly changes to Roman numerals?

After time-travel portal hopping, it's a bit of tonal whiplash to go back to a straight S&S film. The cheap television budget removes the rest of its charm. Marc Singer still looks great in the role (he hasn't worn a shirt in three movies), but it's hilarious to me that his right-hand companion Ruh has turned from a black panther to a Bengal tiger to now a fully-fledged lion. Continuity has never been this franchise's strong point, but that's the least of its issues.

This made-for-TV movie marked the end of the film series proper, though it continued on the small screen for three seasons as a syndicated TV series.

1 Shroud of Agony out of 5

Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991)

It's Beastmaster meets Back to the Future, if the poster is any indication.

Taking a completely different tack than its predecessor, an interdimensional pathway has been opened up leading to 1990s Los Angeles. And it's quite a culture shock! Especially for the viewer. This is a much more tongue-in-cheek, non-serious film, but the gamble pays off as it's a new take on the usual sword and sorcery tropes. I understand why people might despise this new direction, but it's a novel way to evolve the material. The Highlander influence is strong.

2½ ferrets out of 5

The Beastmaster (1982)

One of the better sword and sorcery flicks regards Dar, a babe born unto a cow (!), who gains the ability to telepathically communicate with animals and wages battle against an evil wizard. Visually, Marc Singer looks the part, which is half the battle, while Tanya Roberts accompanies him as the beautiful slave girl. With such an intriguing premise, I don't know how they manage to make a number of these movies so boring. They could have easily shaved a half hour off the runtime to make it more palatable. Anyway, take the good with the bad.

3 eagle screeches out of 5

Ladyhawke (1985)

I think one can only appreciate these older fantasy films 40 years after the fact. You have to overlook a flurry of budgetary issues, atrocious acting and uneven plot pacing, but overall, they provide a charming outlook which feels oddly quaint in hindsight. Richard Donner's film certainly has the budget, but Matthew Broderick is weirdly miscast and the humor doesn't quite work, while Michelle Pfeiffer quietly embodies the mysterious title character. It's a gentle tale, not bound to ruffle many feathers, but I enjoy it as light romantic fantasy.

3 days without a night out of 5

Legend (1985)

The tale of a fair maiden, a boy who is pure at heart, and an unholy presence who casts a shadow over their love, descending the world into eternal winter.

I unabashedly defend this film despite all its flaws. And there are many. It's a family friendly fantasy full of wonder and darkness. Not much happens for a large part of this film. Intellectually and emotionally shallow, the strength of its charm comes through gorgeous visuals and evocation of mood. The bloated budget lends to its broad appeal, filling its halls with goblins, elves and fairies, while Tim Curry is an intimidating presence as Lord of Darkness. It's not quite The Princess Bride and it isn't Labyrinth, but it exists somewhere in between those worlds in my mind. I would want to live within any frame of this film.

3½ unicorn horns out of 5

Note: Infamously, there are three different versions of this film (not unlike Blade Runner and Brazil), from the shorter U.S. theatrical version (with music by Tangerine Dream) to the longer European and director's cuts with the original, restored score by Jerry Goldsmith. In an attempt to be as fair as possible, my rating represents an average mean across all three iterations.

The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984)

David Carradine wanders the desert as Kwai Chang Caine Kain the Warrior, where he comes to the rescue of a topless sorceress (María Socas). And she remains disrobed for the rest of the runtime, which honestly accounts for my warm feelings towards this movie and at least two firm, perky reasons to tune in. It's a loose (shameless) retelling of Yojimbo in a magical, fantasy setting.

2½ anvil strikes out of 5

Sorceress (1982)

Conan the Barbarian was such an influential movie in the 1980s that it inspired a legion of blatant rip-offs from producer Roger Corman, including this early effort. The formula is usually the same; a brainless brawny hero, buxom nude women, and some sort of plot involving magic and fantastical creatures. At the center of it is two sexy twins who can experience what the other feels, somewhat inspired by The Corsican Brothers. I enjoyed this one more than most due to the playfulness of it, but be warned that it's cheaper than it looks.

2½ major differences between men and women out of 5

The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)

I'll be the first to admit this sword and sorcery flick isn't the best, yet it has enough budget and imagination to capture a young child's heart. Plus, enough tits to make a grown man bust at the seams. Despite the promise of the title and that gorgeous poster art, it doesn't quite fulfill its potential. Exceedingly dull at spots, it plods along through all the tropes of the fantasy genre, to a somewhat rousing conclusion. It's a mixed bag of sorts, distilled through the lens of '80s filmmaking, but has been heralded as a cult classic all the same.

2-bladed sword out of 5

Deathstalker (2025)

*sigh* The poster sucks. They had one job...

I was ready to shit all over this reboot until they used the classic theme from Deathstalker II. And then they used cheesy practical effects. And the tongue in cheek humor. But no nudity. Every film in the series is chock full of sex except this one. I'm very conflicted. In some ways, this is the best Deathstalker movie because it fulfills the potential of the originals that they could never achieve due to lack of budget. In other ways, it feels derivative and tawdry. And the filters in this movie match the ugliness of the poster. I just don't know, guys...

2½ cursed amulets out of 5

Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans (1991)

Since the continuity between these films is virtually nonexistent, we now have the original actor back in the role to bring about some semblance of order and establish lore to the Deathstalker mythos. But no matter, this turned out to be the final nail in the coffin, regardless. Still, there's a part of me that remembers how much I enjoyed this series at first and I cling to that shred of memory. At least the cover art remains cool as ever. Long live Boris Vallejo.

1½ musclebound virgins out of 5

Deathstalker III: The Warriors from Hell (1988)

AKA: Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell

The Stalker seems to be suffering an identity crisis, replaced by a different actor and a new personality with each installment. This time he's leaner and slighter than before, and looks nothing like the rippling hero on the poster. There's some standard stock fantasy plot involving an evil sorcerer and magic stones or some such trifle, but it's bland and unexciting. With a dearth of any real action, humor or characterization, it wears out its welcome before long.

1 theme ripped from Battle Beyond the Stars out of 5

Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans (1987)

This volume dials up the smarminess of the hero, while cutting down on some of the more unsavory elements of the first part. Penthouse Pet Monique Gabrielle (in a dual role) is really what makes this film for me; her cute, ditzy princess is endearing in her innocence (and amateur acting). It's very cheesy and corny and self-aware, but it doesn't take itself seriously and it's a lot of fun. (Once again, what you see on the poster is not what you're going to get.)

3½ rounds of wrestling out of 5

Note: The director's cut (78m) is actually 10 minutes shorter than the theatrical version. Although it cuts out a lot of redundancy and clips pulled from the first film, I still think the original edit is a slightly more well-rounded experience.

Deathstalker (1983)

AKA: El cazador de la muerte

Look at that poster. Doesn't it make your cock hard? What happened to this lost style of fantasy art? It suggests a much better time than you're going to get, but it's so much fun to stare at and allow your imagination to wander...

Anyway, onto the movie. It's a bit of a disappointment based on these raised expectations. But if you're looking for a B-grade sword and sorcery epic, you get it in spades, with cheesy practical monster effects and copious amounts of nubile female flesh to put a little pep in your step. It's glorious. What I enjoy about Deathstalker is that he's an asshole and an antihero. I like rooting for inherently flawed characters. It's not quite Conan the Barbarian, but it's about as good a rip-off as you're going to get. I just want to live in this era again...

Am I giving this film a lot more credit than it deserves? Fuck yeah, I am.

3 decapitations out of 5

Red Sonja (2025)

The first live-action adaptation of Red Sonja, while iconic for its time, wasn't quite successful. This one diverts from the source material even further, turning the character into a feminist icon while giving way to a standard Gladiator plot. It's still low budget, but the charm of '80s kitsch is replaced by questionable CGI. This version of the heroine is slight and diminutive and kind of hard to take seriously as a warrior, but I guess that's why it's high fantasy.

What's funny about remakes/reboots is that they often make the original look better by comparison, even when that distinction is not deserved. I hate to admit this, but I did kind of enjoy it. Maybe I just have a fondness for redheads...

2-piece chainmail bikini out of 5

Red Sonja: Queen of Plagues (2016)

Once you get over the terrible, non-existent "animation" and the terrible, amateur voice acting...yeah, it's still terrible. At the very least, this version of Sonja the Barbarian is sexy, but the motion comic-style rendering is half-baked at best. It feels like you're watching some kind of crappy video game cutscene for 75 minutes. It's too bad, because this material deserved better.

1 shard of glass dipped in dung out of 5

Predator: Badlands (2025)

Predator goes full sci-fi, in a page ripped right out of Star Wars. In a complete departure from the rest of the franchise, it now has us rooting for the Yautja, who is on a mission to capture his latest trophy in the distant future. Despite not having any legs, Elle Fanning does a lot of the heavy lifting as half of a synthetic android who becomes an unlikely ally. Since there are no humans in this movie, the violence is minimal and has been downgraded to a PG-13 rating. It's a sci-fi adventure with very little horror elements, but somehow it works.

3 dynamic tree-os out of 5

Predator: Killer of Killers (2025)

An animated anthology of three films set in the Predator universe at different points in human history, including Viking times, feudal Japan and World War II. In short, the Animatrix of the Predator franchise. There's been a recent push to build up the backstory to Predator, mostly due to director Dan Trachtenberg, but I find these efforts rather boring. They're just intergalactic headhunters looking for trophies. It doesn't have to be that deep. No matter what point in history it is, it always feels like the same old story told over and over again...

1½ collars out of 5

Prey (2022)

A young Comanche hunter must prove herself as a warrior. She finds herself stalked by a cloaked dreadlocks-wearing headhunter. Yeah, it's a Predator prequel. Taking place in 1719, it basically trades the jungle scenery for the woodlands of the Great Plains. I enjoyed the new direction at first, although once it settles into its formulaic plot, my interest gradually began to dwindle, especially the overreliance on glaring CGI, which took me out of the moment.

Amber Midthunder is strikingly beautiful; that was my biggest takeaway.

2½ bog pits out of 5

The Predator (2018)

Shane Black (who had a small role in the original film) writes and directs this sequel to the franchise, which marks a bit of a return to form after Predators. 

After an alien ship crash-lands on Earth, a captured Predator escapes from a lab and wreaks havoc on the city, while a biologist and motley crew of rejects attempt to contain the threat. It's...fine. I struggle to get excited about these movies because it always seems to go down about the same. I'm being fairly generous with my rating here because I enjoy looking at Olivia Munn's face.

2 hounds out of 5

Predator: Dark Ages (2015)

An unofficial short film which I'm only reviewing because it's a skilled effort. Set during the Crusades, a group of Templar Knights are visited by a Predator. It's a simple premise and execution, although the Predator looks a bit beefy, like a latter-day Jason. The acting is decent even though the lack of budget shows. It's very low tech, but no worse than some of the official entries.

1½ swordpoints out of 5

Note: This fan film can be viewed here in its entirety.

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Set immediately after the events of AVP, they apparently didn't learn anything the first time around. This was tough to get through. Only diehards need apply.

0 Predalien crossovers out of 5

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

AKA: AVP

Riffing off an Easter egg featured in Predator 2, the monsters do battle with one another. Paul 'Wack Shit' Anderson picks up the slack. Here's a tip: if the title of your movie is AVP, don't revolve half the screen time around humans. Unfortunately, this venture wasn't as fun as the other legendary villain battle, although it succeeds in inextricably linking these two franchises forever.

1 ugly motherfucker out of 5

Predator (1987)

Deep in the Central American jungles, the hunters realize they're being hunted by invisible creatures using thermal imaging vision to track their every move. 

I've never been the biggest fan of the Predator franchise, yet there must be something about it that keeps audiences coming back. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers head this sci-fi/horror fest, which lend to its lasting appeal. There's no denying the creature designs are cool, but it's a shallow action flick that was not able to be matched by its lesser sequel. The whole thing feels so clearly inspired by Aliens, they would eventually do battle together one day.

3 CHOPPAS out of 5

The Running Man (2025)

A totalitarian, dystopian game show seemed oddly prescient back in 1982 when King's novel was first published. In 2025, it's depressingly accurate. 

This new adaptation by Edgar Wright attempts to be more faithful to the source material about an everyman who competes on a reality show for a large cash prize by surviving for 30 days in a city full of hunters. This is an extraordinarily stupid movie full of bad decisions that somehow succeeds in making the 1987 film seem more competent by comparison. It's quite a feat.

1½ lucky socks out of 5

Tron: Ares (2025)

The next step in the evolution of TRON. The effects look better than ever, but it still feels hollow. Tron has never been the deepest franchise; it's all about the visual style and evocation of mood and showing off the best technology of the day. In that way, I appreciate what it's doing here. That being said, this one feels even louder and emptier than the previous film. This time, the hot button issue is AI. It's an inverse of the last film where now it's the MCP that leaves the grid into our world. At times, it reminded me of The Terminator. At the center is yet another Light Cycle sequence, which is the bread and butter of this franchise. It essentially amounts to a glorified tech demo of the times.

1 '80s throwback sequence out of 5

Eternity (2025)

After death, a woman must choose between eternity with her first husband, who was cut down in the prime of his life, or her second husband, who she spent the last 65 years of her life with. It's a fascinating way to explore a love triangle, with cosmic implications. In terms of afterlife romantic comedies, it can't help but bring to mind Defending Your Life, and I mean that favorably.

3½ pretzels out of 5

A Big Bold Beautiful Journey (2025)

A whimsical romantic fantasy about two beautiful people who can't find love (that old chestnut). Through the help of a car rental agency and a magical GPS, they go on an uncharted journey filled with doorways to the past where they revisit past traumas and other pivotal moments of life that prevent them from moving on. It's predictable and not all as fun as it could be given the concept, but worth watching if you want to get out of your own head for awhile. If life is this difficult for the privileged, then what chance do the rest of us have?

3 fast food cheeseburgers out of 5

Good Fortune (2025)

Gabriel, the angel of texting and driving, sticks his neck out for a lost soul down on his luck, allowing him to trade places with a wealthy tech bro and experience a life free from debt, while the other spends time in his shoes. Predictably, it goes about as well as expected, and he doesn't want to change back. A great movie that forces the viewer to consider the disparity between class and wealth. I enjoyed this quite a bit, but of course, the uncomfortable truths remain. The reality is a lot darker, and this movie keeps things as light as possible, but it's a fun diversion from the slings and arrows of real life.

3 chicken nuggies out of 5

Ebony & Ivory (2024)

The story of how Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder came together to write the classic duet "Ebony and Ivory." Not really. All you need to know about this movie is that it was made by the same whackjob who did The Greasy Strangler. For normal ass bitches, this would make it an automatic zero, but it's got some fringe appeal if you're into this alternative absurdist/surrealist anti-humor. You can actually save yourself a lot of time by just checking out the trailer. It's just more of that. It's fucking weird as shit, and intentionally abrasive and grating. It was an endurance test even for me. I'm not really sure who this is for; probably people who are really high, like Paul and Stevie apparently were when they hallucinated sheep excreting out the lyrics. It's simply too bizarre to discard entirely. It will always linger at some part of my subconscious.

1 Scottish cottage out of 5

Springsteen: Deliver Me from Nowhere (2025)

Jeremy Allen White (The Bear) takes on the Boss in this unconventional biopic that takes place during the conception of his 1982 album, Nebraska. Bruce is a difficult perfectionist who does things his own way, in all its imperfections, while coming to terms with his past, but the tortured artist angle gets tiring. J.A.W. does a good enough job, but it's the material that is lacking. There are so many great stories they could have told here, but instead decided to do one that feels trite and uninspired, which skips over the most interesting parts.

2½ demo tapes out of 5

The Smashing Machine (2025)

Dwayne Johnson is unrecognizable as Mark Kerr, a wrestler and MMA fighter who battles addiction, sobriety and a volatile relationship while trying to advance his career. We've seen these kinds of biopics countless times, but there is an earnestness to the performances and simplicity to the proceedings which makes it stand out from your garden variety star vehicles. It might not win any awards, but it's a brilliant showcase for this kind of raw intensity and proves that The Rock is made of tougher stuff. Based on a 2002 documentary, The Smashing Machine: The Life and Times of Extreme Fighter Mark Kerr.

3 stitches out of 5

Nuremberg (2025)

"The only clue to what man can do is what man has done."

Following the end of World War II, Nazi war criminals are brought to justice. An American shrink (Rami Malek) is tasked with determining whether Hermann Göring (Hitler's right-hand man, played by Russell Crowe) is fit to stand trial. It's a very depressing story based on a very dark time in human history that the movies love to relitigate over and over again. Do we really need the constant reminder that we keep going back and repeating past mistakes?

3 magic tricks out of 5

Anniversary (2025)

Would you like to spend a 25th wedding anniversary with an insufferable group of people? How about two hours? At the center is a new political movement, called "The Change" which sets to tear this family apart. An awful movie where everything is black and white, and details are kept from the audience in order to keep it as generic as possible to serve its shallow agenda.

1 fear-mongering out of 5

After the Hunt (2025)

A college student accuses her professor of inappropriate conduct. What kind of inappropriate conduct? The fuck if I know. I found this movie completely insufferable and infuriating, especially how everybody intellectualizes and talks circles around the issues without ever saying anything of value. The whole thing seems poised to generate controversy, yet I still have no idea what point it was trying to make. That everybody is a piece of shit? That was my general takeaway. I could have told you that without wasting two hours.

2 ulcers out of 5