A Merry Little Ex-Mas (2025)

First off, when did Alicia Silverstone and Melissa Joan Hart get so old? Fuck.

A couple still on good terms decide to "consciously uncouple," but still insist on spending Christmas together with the kids, even when the ex has upgraded to a shiny new model. It's your typical Hallmark Netflix holiday movie with the edges rounded off and nothing that would make your grandmother raise an eyebrow. Just going through the motions of its AI-generated script. Utter slop.

0 portable fireplaces out of 5

Next Friday (2000)

A sequel to the really rather good Friday (1995) that's nowhere near as good. It takes Craig (Ice Cube) out of South Central, 'Fresh Princing' him to the California suburbs, perhaps in the hope that removing the character from a setting that was complementary and placing him into one that isn't will engender not just comedy but sympathy. Unfortunately, it doesn't.

It adds some Chicano neighbours for him to tussle with, most of whom are played too heavily for laughs. Also, Deebo (Tommy Lister) has unfinished business, so he's shoehorned into the plot, too. The script certainly wasn't Ice Cube expressin' with his full capabilities.

2 ghetto knocks out of 5