Warrior King (2005)

aka Tom-Yum-Goong / The Protector 

Most kids have a bunny or a puppy. Kham has an elephant. His love for his tusked companion sees him travelling from Thailand to Australia, where his mental state and martial arts skills are tested to the max.
The first half is hit and miss, I could've happily lived without the James Bond style boat chase and the bad CGI dream sequence, but the second half is an unforgettably violent and emotional journey that’s exhausting to watch. There’s a single unbroken fight scene lasting almost four minutes that really needs to be seen to be believed.

NOTE: My version (shown above) runs for approx 106 mins (PAL). The International Cut is shorter. Avoid the US Theatrical cut at all costs.

4 bone crunching sounds out of 5

The Ghost Cat of Otama Pond (1960)

Ghost Cat is creaky in places, but it appears to have made the best of what it had to work with. What kept my interest mostly was the red and green lighting similar to what Hitchcock was doing around the same era, the excellent music and the inventive layering. A more substantial depth of field would've improved it greatly. However, lenses cost money and it’s clearly a low budget affair. It’s not a perfect film, but it’s culturally fascinating.
The seizure-inducing editing at the end was perhaps a mistake. It feels out of place with the slow building eeriness of the rest of the picture.

2½ hairy hands out of 5

High Fidelity (2000)

John Cusack leads a fourth-wall breaking comedy drama based on a 1995 Nick Hornby novel of the same name (that I've not read). It’s about a guy in his mid-thirties, Rob, a record store owner, who lists his Top 5 relationship breakups as a means to put his current one in perspective. His incremental move toward acceptance of his own broken nature is cleverly edited and filled with sharp dialogue. Rob’s sullenness would be tiring if not for the contrasts afforded him by the people around him. In that respect, despite his shakiness, he’s the rock upon which all other aspects of the film depend.

3½ professional appreciators out of 5

Ghost in the Shell: Arise - Border 3: Ghost Tears (2014)

Motoko's forced to put her personal life on hold to focus instead on a difficult case that overlaps with her past. It’s interesting to see her exhibit strong feelings not related to duty and honour. By making her seem more human they also deepen her reasons for controlling that side of herself.
A tertiary character haunts the background from time to time, waiting for Border 4 (2014) to reveal her true intentions, no doubt.
When the team are assembled around Aramaki's desk for a mission briefing it feels just like Ghost in the Shell ought to feel. But they aren't the fully-formed Section 9 just yet. They need one more member in order to gain the privileges needed to help them be the best at what they do. And let's not forget that brave little Logicoma.

4 mermaid legs out of 5

The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004)

Within their colourful world of fairytale blue and pink skies, Shinkai's yearning hopefuls exist to transmit thoughts and stir personal, emotional responses in the viewer. The kind of wisdom that comes from knowing you were on the precipice of something beautiful but acutely aware that it could never be known fully until it passed is his stock-in-trade.
Keep in mind while viewing that the ‘Place’ of the title is more than just physical. Also that sometimes the mind knows what the heart wants is transitory, so it suggests hesitation and creates a distraction.
Music is by Shinkai's regular composer, Tenmon (Atsushi Shirakawa); it’s another perfect accompaniment to a timeless, bitter-sweet story.

5 distant branches out of 5

K-9 and Company: A Girl's Best Friend (1981)

The fourth Doctor’s robotic pooch got itself a pilot for an offshoot series that didn't get green-lit. It’s similar to the parent show, but there are no aliens or reckless jaunts through time. That doesn't mean all is rosy and safe, however, because a coven of Hecate worshipers are planning something nefarious in the pastoral English countryside.
Despite not having her name in the title the real star is Elisabeth Sladen as the forthright, journalistic-minded Sarah Jane Smith.
The title implies that K-9 (Mk III) would've been constant, but would the ‘company’ be changeable? Were more Who cameos planed?

3 unlicked stamps out of 5

Poltergeist III (1988)

By the time Part III came along Heather O'Rourke had made the transition from a kid in a movie doing what adults asked of her into a fully-fledged young actress acting. She's accompanied by a stand-in big sister because Carol Anne's parents are nowhere to be seen.
There are creepy happenings from the very beginning that get more and more bizarre as the story nears the end.
Like the first film it takes place almost entirely inside an enclosed space; it's a bigger space but it's still confined. In many ways it feels more like an Elm Street story with slight script revisions than a Poltergeist one.

2½ cracked mirrors out of 5

Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)

After relocation the Freelings have returned to happy family mode, but the memory of the ordeal remains and the evil isn't finished with Carol Anne just yet because sequels make easy money.
The addition of a creepy old guy, the fork-tongued Rev. Kane (Julian Beck), gave us someone to fear and enabled the back-story of Cuesta Verde to be expanded. Adding ‘The Other Side’ to the title was another good move; it provided intrigue and teased the notion that we might actually get to see it this time. We do, but it's the epitome of anticlimactic.

3 grabby hands out of 5

Poltergeist (1982)

The 80s had an abundance of supernatural movies and Poltergeist is one of the best. It takes the typical 'two point four with dog' and puts them through a well-paced hell of missing child, evil controlling entity and flying toys. There's a good balance of atmosphere and visual effects and the little girl, Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke), is excellent in her role.
There’s no doubt the framing and camera movements are more a product of Spielberg's vision than Hooper's, but the end product is what counts.

4 frequencies out of 5

COHERENCE [2013]

Coherence is a pretty damned fun shoestring budget sci-fi/suspense film from writer/director James Ward Byrkit.
The less you know about the film the better it is, so all I can tell you is that there's a dinner party, a comet and glowsticks.
All of the dialogue is improvised so it gets a little wonky at times but for the most the actors do a fine job at producing a frightening sense of realism.  Things start getting creepy and the whole scenario spirals into a delightful craziness that jangles the nerves.  Not everything makes sense, so if you're looking for answers you'll lose half the fun of it but if it's unique entertainment you're after then you'll find it in this spooky Outer Limits-esque yarn.

3 allergies to Schrödinger's cat out of 5

LIFE AFTER BETH [2014]

I ♥ Huckabees writer Jeff Baena's directorial debut, Life After Beth is a disjointed zom-rom-com that sputters out a few moments of promise.
Aubrey Plaza is grotesquely playful as Beth, a girl who has no memory of returning from the dead and wonders why her family won't let her lead a normal life.  Dane DeHaan is horribly miscast as her boyfriend that stumbles around while trying to pick up where they left before her "incident" without letting her in on the whole six feet under thing.
While it's nice to see a zombie movie shuffle the whole "epidemic" thing far into the background and instead focus on the character relationships, there's simply nothing imaginative or really funny here, apart from a few good chuckles.   

2 smooth jazz tunes for the recently deceased out of 5

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES [2014]

Some people have a fetish for having folks toss shit in their faces.  They laugh, scream and squeal with glee.
I think I have that sort of fetish only the type of shit I like tossed in my direction comes in the form of bad films.
Director Jonathan Liebesman's live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles flick falls directly into that category.  Megan Fox & four CGI mutant turtles fight William Fichtner and some sort of ridiculously souped-up Shredder that's a cross between Darth Vader and Bayformer's Megatron.  That's about all you need to know to get the idea.  It's not the "raped my childhood" travesty internerds thougth it would be nor is it even that good, it's just a briskly paced action film that offers no real surprises and murders a few of your precious brain-cells.

2 hidden stashes of Orange Crush out of 5

THE EXPENDABLES 3 [2014]

Director Patrick Hughes reunites Sly Stallone and the boys for one last job (wasn't the first film "one last job"?) in the third and hopefully final Expendables film.

This time around Mel Gibson plays the big bad with a strong lack of enthusiasm that doesn't help the stale action scenes one bit.  Arnie has finally run out of bad one-liners and resorts to repeating a famous one, not once but twice.  Jet Li, who's known for his ass-kicking martial arts skills and not his wooden acting, only acts here.  I could go on forever with reasons why this film lacked but it's not surprising.
What was surprising was how much fun the second film was, which this one is nothing like.

1 choppa out of 5

THE SIGNAL [2014]

Director William Eubank's second film, The Signal, once again finds him exploring a low-budget science-fiction world that proves imagination is more powerful than money.

It starts off like a pretty standard story about relationships & growing up but slowly escalates into something far beyond anything I could have imagined it would. It explores the consequences we face when we make choices, whether they're made by logic or driven by our emotions and what happens when both types collide head on.  As visually stunning and fascinating it is to ponder upon, once all is said and done it all feels like a letdown that it set itself up for from the very beginning.  It's a wonderful journey but ultimately cheats you in the end as it tries to go all Twilight Zone on the viewer.

3 hundred mile sprints out of 5

Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982)

Look at that cover! Just… wow! It’s like a ZX Spectrum game ripping off Tron (1982). And Fred Ward on a dirt bike? Are those Cowboys? Are we whizzing back in time to the Wild West? Sweet mother of fuck! How could I not watch it?! It can’t possibly be as entertaining as all that.
It isn’t. Top guy Lyle Swann farts around on his bike to a cheesy rock soundtrack for about a third of the entire film. There’s anachronistic shenanigans, a love interest (Belinda Bauer), gun-toting bad guys who were born to lose, a predictable paradox and then it ends.

1½ dusty tracks out of 5

Gamera vs. Barugon (1966)

Gamera’s second outing takes place six months after his first.  Plan Z went tits-up, so the giant turtle is back, this time in colour, but functions like a guest in his own movie. Barugon eats up most of the monster screen time with his icy tongue. The remainder of the story involves an unscrupulous treasure-seeker who can’t see past his own greed.
There’s despair when danger might have been more effective and the pace slows to a (quadrupedal) crawl in the last third but there’s more than enough quality moments to recommend a viewing to fans.
Daiei’s scale models aren't as good as Toho’s, but in G vs B the creatures are less like men in suits, which will please some folks and disgust others.

3 pig bones out of 5

Gamera (1965)

Created to cash in on the success of Toho's Godzilla franchise, the first Gamera film contains within it enough unique elements to differentiate it from the others. Yes, an atomic bomb is responsible for his arrival, but his origin is different and his affiliations aren't as clear-cut. Appearances are more frequent and evenly spread over the running time. (The pictures showing his visitations across the globe, like holiday snaps of a giant turtle's sightseeing tour, were hilarious.) Furthermore, he can do something menacing that Godzilla can't, which makes him an arguably more formidable foe.

2½ countermeasures out of 5

Punisher: War Zone (2008)

It’s not polite to laugh when a chair leg punches through some poor sap’s face, but I couldn't help myself. The level of violence in Marvel’s third attempt at a Punisher story is ridiculous. Unfortunately, once the laughs faded, after about ten minutes, all that was left was video game brutality, cop clichés, villain clichés, vigilante clichés, daylight tragedy and night shoots with too much backlit steam.

1 more Marvel reboot for the shit-heap out of 5

Jack Irish: Dead Point (2014)

The third dose of TV Irish is based on the third book in Peter Temple's series. Jack's still helping Harry win big on the horses and apprenticing in carpentry in his spare time (aka reflecting on the current case), but the seedy side of his day job never really goes away. In Dead Point there's drugs, murder, blackmail and a red leather-bound book that the wrong hands are just itching to get a hold of. The balance between realism and movie drama is tipped a little more toward the latter but it’s exciting so is easy to forgive. I like that reminders of the past can catch even fictional characters unawares.

3½ business ends out of 5

The Sound of Claudia Schiffer (2000)

An experimental short by Nicolas Roeg that owes a debt to Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey (1978) and if I'm not mistaken there’s some Chris Marker in there too. It’s a merger of images, depicting the big and the small, contrasting and comparing the mundane and the profound in the universe and in the individual. Over the imagery, but not commenting directly on it, is a female narrator that I'm guessing is Schiffer delivering something resembling a friendly Penny Rimbaud poem. Music is by Adrian Utley of Portishead. It’s difficult to rate because it’s so abstract, but I never once felt like turning it off, so I'm going wholly subjective for the scoring.

3 space lights out of 5

Guyver: Dark Hero (1994)

It's been a year since Sean/Guyver kicked Zoanoid ass, but the suit remains a part of his genetic make-up. He begins to experience dream images that lead him to uncover more about his alien origins and kick more ass.
David Hayter (real name Solid Snake) takes over the role of Sean. His boy band hair is distracting, but he's still more believable than the other guy.
The first hour could easily have been reduced to half an hour without losing anything of consequence. The second hour gets on with the story, and once the Guyver suit dominates things are bearable. It’s a better film than before, but don’t misinterpret that as a recommendation of any kind.

1½ smokin’ footprints out of 5

The Guyver (1991)

aka Mutronics

An alien device changes crap martial arts student Sean into a space-armoured, bioboosted suited, alien-hybrid super-soldier, which comes in useful when he goes up against fugly Zoanoids, humans mutated as part of a biogenetic alien experiment millennia ago… or something.
The transformation from blank nobody into the actual Guyver hero is really excellent, as is the suit. Brian Yuzna's involvement (producer) means we hope for a certain kind of icky finesse when it comes to the FX, and it delivers in style during the finale.
Unfortunately, Mark Hamill thinks he’s in a noir cop movie while everyone else thinks they’re playing for a free lunch at the local community centre.

1½ pulsating neck-lumps out of 5

MATCHSTICK MEN [2003]

Director Ridley Scott takes up an interesting change of pace with the comedic con-caper drama  Matchstick Men.
Nicholas Cage portrays a mentally troubled con artist who has him and his partner's long con shaken up when he discover he's the father to a 14-year old girl who wants into his crime-riddled life.  Scott's smooth eye makes for a clever little film that absorbs the viewer into it's multiple character arcs that play out better than the actual story their based around.  Cage does a fine job at giving a lot of heart to the film but still tires with his "I'm crazy" shtick, whereas Alison Lohman excels as Cage's energetic teenage daughter who might be too curious for her own good.  It threatens to wander off the rails more often than I'd like but it's overall an enjoyable film that proves Scott can still tell a human story that isn't outrageously epic.

3 cans of tuna out of 5

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY [2014]

Disney took a huge risk producing a big budget comic book movie based on a little known Marvel comic book.  They took even a bigger risk by enlisting the unhinged James Gunn to direct Chris Pratt in the lead role.
Fortunately Guardians Of The Galaxy succeeds in nearly every way possible.
The final film in Marvel's Phase Two before Avengers: Age Of Ultron, GOTG sets up for a larger story to be seen in Phase 3 but holds up well on it's own.  Gunn blends his trademark wackiness quite well into a comfy balance of humor, heart and action all neatly placed in the correct spots of the narrative to keep things in check.  It's a fast-paced wildly imaginative treat that feels like Farscape buggered The Fifth Element up the arse to the musical sounds of the 70's.

4 great heroes named Kevin Bacon out of 5

DEATH RACE [2008]

Paul W.S. Anderson serves up a ladle of vehicular carnage crap with a prequel to the Roger Corman cult classic Death Race 2000.
Taking itself way too seriously and void of any sort of campy wit, Anderson's flick seems to completely miss what made the original film such a great guilty pleasure.  Instead it's nothing more than a headache inducing bore that resorts to uninspired juvenile video-game violence and characters so dull it makes Bayformers seem appetizing.

1 tombstone out of 5

The Terminal Man (1974)

If you know sci-fi cinema then one look at TTM will tell you that it can only be from the 70s. Stick with it longer and you’ll recognise the concerns of Michael Crichton gluing the story together. It involves a scientist with a high IQ and a fear of computers, so, aware of the contradiction but too willing to play God, a group of scientists put a tiny computer chip in his brain to control his homicidal impulses. Good job, guys.
The minimal use of music makes the film feel longer than it is, but it also ups the tension. Couple that with some striking framing that elevates the ordinary and you have a product that falls short of the 'forgotten classic' moniker but deserves credit and praise for the attempt.

3 corrections out of 5

THE ZERO THEOREM [2013]

Director Terry Gilliam returns to his bizarre dystopian future form, as explored in Brazil and 12 Monkeys with The Zero Theorem.
Christophe Waltz does a fantastic job playing the tragic Qohen Leth who's lost in a world that doesn't want or need him.  The earnest Qohen is on the constant search for a definitive meaning to life but is assigned the job of confirming human existence is meaningless, which in turn gives his being some sort of purpose.  Gilliam's dismal paranoid future is candy colored and rich in texture which gives it a absurd sense of menace.  The film's making a pretty bold statement but it never feels heavy-handed and still pleases with it's eccentric characters and outlandish sets.
A fine return to form for Gilliam that reminds us sci-fi films can still be personal to the film-makers and not lost in a sea of merchandise.

3½ Churches of Batman The Redeemer out of 5

In the Realms of the Unreal (2004)

A strange and oft-times bewildering documentary that offers a glimpse into the life and work of Henry Darger, a man who left the world a staggering amount of literature and art that until his passing only he knew about. The term ‘Life’s Work’ has rarely been so apt.
Only four pictures of Henry are known to exist, so the film uses narration of his written word and animated versions of his bizarre illustrations to tell a story. In doing so it attempts to piece together an image of the man and the concerns that occupied him. It alternates between memoirs and fiction, but there may well be some overlap between the two.
The observations and memories of Henry’s neighbours are contradictory, but so was he, it seems, which adds to the mystery.

3 reclusive mosaics out of 5

Gamera the Brave (2006)

Kadokawa’s re-imagining of Gamera is a significant departure from Daiei's Heisei era style and as such deserves to be judged by different criteria. It’s very much a children’s movie, but it's one that has the potential to touch their hearts and stay in residence there as they grow and mature.
It follows Toru, a boy not yet come to terms with the death of his mother a year before. Toru has friends but spends much of his time alone. When he finds a baby turtle they form a strong bond. He protects it and as it grows it protects him. It’s a sentimental journey that isn't without its explosive moments, but the real punch in the story is the simplicity by which it’s told and the lingering aspect of the perfect ending.

3½ scarlet pearls out of 5

Super Duper Alice Cooper (2014)

Hello! Hooray! Let the show begin... A documentary about the band and the man named Alice Cooper. It charts the rise and fall and eventual comeback of Alice, the pastor's son who became a painted rock icon.
It's told by the artist himself, with contributions from some of the people who featured heavily in the journey. It gets behind the theatrics and artistic statements and doesn't gloss over the alcohol and the drugs.
Distilling a 45 year career into something that fits a 98 minute slot means a lot is missing, but what's included is insightful and engaging.

3½ lunatics running the asylum out of 5

Alien Nation (1988)

A buddy cop movie with a difference: one of the cops is an alien and the other is a contemptuous, racist and xenophobic human who debases the entire alien race on a daily basis, so not exactly buddies. Nevertheless, they've a case to solve, so they knuckle down to work.
It works best if you view the aliens as representative of cultural minorities in our own society, but you can ignore that aspect completely and enjoy it as a straight up cop movie if you want because Caan and Patinkin have the kind of onscreen chemistry that would be a joy to watch even if they were investigating the murder of a goldfish.

3½ inappropriate names out of 5

Daimajin Gyakushu (1966)

aka The Return of Majin / Majin's Counterattack / The Revenge of Majin / Majin Strikes Again

From a village that’s quick to announce they’re cursed when bad luck befalls them, a small group of boys set out on a perilous journey to do what the adults won’t. The task requires that they pass over the Majin Mountain, a forbidden place where an angry god resides.
All three Daimajin films, of which this is the last, were made in the same year but each is unique in content and even more so in style. Gyakushu was directed by the usually reliable Kazuo Mori, who delivers more of a children’s movie than anything else. It's a film featuring little people hill walking, eating and hiding from the enemy... hmmm, that sounds familiar.

2½ rice balls out of 5

Daimajin Ikaru (1966)

aka The Return of Daimajin / The Wrath of Daimajin / Majin Grows Angry / The Return of Giant Majin / The Return of Majin

Kenji Misumi took over directing duties for the second in the trilogy, so the swordplay is better and his way of looking at the world is very different.
Unfortunately, the story isn't quite as good as before. It's set in two neighbouring villages that aren't rich but they do share a kind of prosperity due to location. The peace and mutual respect they've created is shattered by a power-hungry Lord who wants that wealth for himself.
The Daimajin statue takes a more active role, which may have been a mistake for reasons I won’t mention for fear of spoilers. As always, after viewing you can make up your own mind if you think it was or wasn't.

3½ secret tunnels out of 5

Daimajin (1966)

aka Majin / Majin, the Monster of Terror / Majin, the Hideous Idol

The Daimajin series is a kaijū trilogy from the studio that gave us the original Gamera franchise. but this first entry is an altogether more sophisticated breed of film. It’s foremost a quality jidaigeki about clans, control and a merciless militaristic coup. It’s male dominated but the few women that do feature wield the kind of power that matters.
The creature is more like a crushing force of nature or an angry god’s retribution personified, punishing the evils of mankind. It takes a long time for it to appear. but in all probability you won’t miss it because the drama that occupies the remainder of the running time is excellent and holds its own. It keeps colours very natural but still manages to look beautiful.

4 stone fingers out of 5

Zatoichi Challenged (1967)

The 17th Zatoichi film has the swordsman taking on the uncle/father role again, but it doesn't tread old ground, because the circumstances surrounding the pairing are different than before.
The kid’s antics provide humour, a travelling troupe adds colour, and there’s a secondary character (Jûshirô Konoe) that could easily carry a film all by himself. He and Ichi have some powerfully tense scenes together.
The finale is superb, but that shouldn't come as any great surprise to fans.

3½ twists of fate out of 5

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES III [1993]

An action movie with giant time-travelling turtles trained in the art of ninjutsu should be fairly entertaining no matter how bad the script is.
Emphasize on the "should" because it's not.
Director Stuart Gillard takes a seat in the director's chair for the third Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film.
It's tired dialogue, cliches galore, wooden acting and predictably dull narrative make for a very very long hour and a half that I never want to endure again.
It might be fine for the kiddies but they can clearly watch something better than this drivel.

½ lampshade out of 5

STARSHIP TROOPERS [1997]

Director Paul Verhoeven takes Robert A. Heinlein's sickly propaganda pulp novel Starship Troopers and turns it into a satirical sci-fi slap across the face to war, fascism and the U.S.'s fear of the unknown.
As a war film it's ruthlessly violent, loud and deceivingly appears to glamorize violence, as a satire it's just as ruthless only on a completely different level of wit, humor and cunning.  Like Verhoeven's Robocop, the film works just as well as a cheeky satire as it does a SFX spectacle of explosions and death.  There's a few groan-worthy moments that don't do anything for the narrative or message but I suppose without it we wouldn't be engaged with these witless pro-militarized characters.

4 censored news reels out of 5

JEDI JUNKIES [2010]

Mark Edlitz's low budget documentary, Jedi Junkies takes a bizarre look at the mental illness that is Star Wars obsession.
It explores some more interesting folks who use their own creativity to soothe their fandom, while others have no thinking brain of their own and are just plain crazy, making it occasionally disturbing and sad.  It interviews celebrities, fans, Slave Princess Leia cosplayers galore and for a deeper insight to these psychiatric disorders: professional therapists.
It's not particularly mesmerizing to see all these people talk nor is it much in the way of entertainment (with the exception of those guys behind the Chad Vader web series).  In the end, it feels like a poor man's version of Trekkies, which in itself is a circus sideshow.

2 Sith Lords In A Supermarket out of 5

Enemy Mine (1985)

EM is the old story of two warring individuals in a hostile environment being forced to set aside taught hate and instead cooperate in order to survive. It relocated the action to an alien world in the late 21st Century, pitting and pairing a xenophobic human with a spiritual, reptilian alien known as a Drac. The result is a classic, inspirational sci-fi adventure filled with heartfelt and thought-provoking moments that almost every sci-fi TV show has attempted to replicate at least once.
The last act feels like it belongs in a different film, but it doesn't detract from the almost perfect execution of the first two thirds.

4 universal truths out of 5

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES II: THE SECRET OF THE OOZE [1991]

TV director Michael Pressman replaces Steve Barron for the sequel to 1990 mega-hit in the mind-numbingly silly The Secret Of The Ooze.
A rushed job to appease the studio and it's young fans it's filled with terrible humor, sloppy storytelling, plot-holes galore and plenty of catch-phrases that never actully caught on.  The film is notably a lot lighter in tone and holds back on the violence, compared to the original film that spent a lot of time in the shadows.  Hell, I don't even recall the turtles actually using their signature weapons more than once each here.  Having not enjoyed it all that much as a kid when it was first in theaters, I wasn't expecting much with an adult revisit.  I got exactly as I thought I would.  Put on two pairs of nostalgia glasses over the first pair to enjoy this one, kids.

1½ shitty excuses for Rocksteady & Bebop out of 5

THE CONGRESS [2013]

Ari Folman crafts a uniquely beautiful live action/animated work with The Congress, a philosophical satire loosely inspired by Stanisław Lem's The Futurological Congress.
In her best performance to date, Robin Wright portrays a science-fictionalized version of herself that echoes that of a character that wouldn't be out of place in a Charlie Kaufman piece.  The Congress explores a number of themes including mortality, appearances, the pro & cons of advanced technology in film, all while taking some mature and delicately executed swipes at the Hollywood mainstream.  Folman returns to his Waltz with Bashir crew to help animate a world that looks like a Jean-Pierre Jeunet world seen through the eyes of Ralph Bashki.
A very important cinematic achievement that I urge any lover of thoughtful storytelling in cinema to experience.

4½ animated Dwarfs out of 5

THE PURGE: ANARCHY [2014]

James DeMonaco improves upon the original film by exploring everything we questioned in the first place with The Purge: Anarchy.
Much larger in scope, the second Purge film finally shows us how the rest of the world might react to 12 hours of no law and it ain't a pretty sight.  We get to see how different types of people will handle it, with some for entertainment, some revenge, some for profit and some are just plain fuckin' nuts.  It goes a bit more in-depth with the concept and impact of The Purge without ever neutering the idea.  There's some silly manboy video game violence that's quite often a bit of a stretch but all in all, it's a fine little film that wants to say more than it really does.

2½ Gods out of 5

TURTLE POWER: THE DEFINITIVE HISTORY OF THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES [2014]

Randall Lobb documents the birth and impact of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles over the past 30 years in the aptly titled Turtle Power.  

It actually goes into great depth about the history of the Turtles that fans will find quite interesting, even covering new territory for fans who are quite familiar with Kevin Eastman & Peter Laird's original comic books.  For the casual fan it will be of interest to see the love, labor and passion put into a project that they probably initially thought were nothing but silly action figures and Saturday morning cartoons.  

Definitely a worthwhile watch if the subject material even remotely peaks your interest.  

3 heroes in a half-shell out of 5

CONTRACTED [2013]

Writer/director Eric England goes for the complete ick factor with the grisly body-horror flick Contracted.  A film about a girl who has unprotected sex during a one-night stand and slowly begins deteriorating from a rapidly advancing uber-STD that will leave the shocked viewer with extreme unease and repulsion.
With nary a sympathetic character in sight, Contracted is hard to like when it hardly even explores any psychological depth to it's terror and when it does it's highly unbelievable and predictable.
There's some hints of outrageous shock-horror that will have you laughing in disgust but that's about all this film has to offer when it promises something more but has little pay-off.

2 vaginal worms out of 5

INSOMNIA [2002]

Insomnia is Christopher Nolan's moody remake of the Norwegian crime-thriller of the same name.
While the original film goes deep into exploring themes and ideas not usually covered in films in this genre, Nolan seems to forget that and finds himself teetering more towards the standard crime-drama that makes a mess of the narrative.  The dialogue is so damned dry and forgettable it gets a bit too boring at times that it can't even be saved by some wonderfully executed performances by it's three leads.  Fortunately cinematographer Wally Pfister is on hand to capture some beautiful photography that is worth watching all on it's own when put to composer David Julyan's grim, minimalistic music.  It might be different seeing as it is essentially a noir film set in complete daylight from beginning to end but without that it's pretty much your standard fare that makes you wonder how Nolan could produce something like Memento that's so out of the norm and then this.

2½ dead dogs out of 5

BIRTH OF THE LIVING DEAD [2013]

Birth Of The Living Dead is Rob Kuhn's documentary about George A. Romero's cult classic zombie film and how it had/has more impact on culture than you might actually be aware of.
It explores the social issues, cultural impact and making of the film on a micro-budget through interviews with cast & crew and many big names in the film/TV zombie genre today.  To add to that we see Romero's surprising roots, including a stint with the notorious squeaky clean Mister Rogers.  The effects the time period had on the film was key in how it became so much more than what Romero had ever envisioned.  The director simply set out to have fun making a horror film and it "accidentally" became a comment on racism, anti-war and a protest against authority.
Hardcore fans will find nothing new here but it's so well-told that the uninitiated will discover things about a film they only thought was a zom-B-movie.

3½ possibly intentional errors on the copyrighted name of this documentary out of 5

Audrey Rose (1977)

Suppose a beardy stalker told you that your daughter was his daughter reincarnated. What would you do? That’s the premise of the film, adapted for the screen by the author of the original novel, Frank De Felitta.
The practical father (John Beck) and emotional mother (Marsha Mason) aren't very original types, but they do well; even more so when they’re required to act without dialogue. One aspect of Audrey Rose’s character was totally believable but the other part of it less so. It was a challenging role to ask of a young girl (Susan Swift) in her début feature.
I was hoping for something a little more sinister than what was given, but at least it avoided the plunge into the pit of complete melodrama that it skims around the edge of more than once.

3 journeys homeward out of 5

POINT BREAK [1991]

Director Kathryn Bigelow pumps up the philosophical adrenaline in the silly but wildly entertaining crime-thriller Point Break.
Keanu Reeves does his best to play a broody FBI agent that goes undercover to try a nab a gang of notorious bank robbers that may or may not be surfers.  Elevated by some beautifully photographed surf scenes and perfect pacing, Point Break doesn't speak to the viewer like most action films like this would.  Instead it tries to get into the minds of why folks like this do the things they do...still, the film isn't without it's numerous 80's & 90's action movie clichés and mind-numbing dialogue.
It could have heavily benefited from going in the direction I suspect Bigelow was striving for but was held back from the studio and instead comes off as silly action flick with a few hints of being something more.

3 Ex-Presidents out of 5

Versus (2000) / Ultimate Versus (2004)

There are 666 portals that connect our world to the other side. In a forest in Japan is the 444th portal. It's there that Ryûhei Kitamura's low budget film takes place. It's about thirty minutes before it gets good, before it goes action, horror, comedy, spaghetti, Yakuza and Samurai bat-shit crazy, so have patience if you decide to give it a whirl. And remember it was made for the equivalent of just $10,000, so don't expect miracles.
Kitamura's ability to stage live action and make it look like it ought to be manga or anime might confuse people unfamiliar with the style.
The 'Ultimate Versus' has ten minutes of newly-filmed scenes, extra music and CGI blood. No film has ever benefited from extra CGI blood. If there wasn't enough food dye and corn syrup on the day, that's the way it should stay.

3 heads a'rolling out of 5

TRUST ME [2013]

Actor Clark Gregg writes & directs this black comedy/drama Trust Me which follows a down-in-the-dumps talent agent who's new client brings more trouble than she might actually be worth.  

Like a lesser version of Robert Altman's The Player, Gregg's film seems to fancy itself a noirish satirical view of the Hollywood biz.  Only it never pulls strong enough punches (which occasionally seem to be aimed in the wrong direction) and only comes off as mildly amusing at best.  Fortunately the acting is all top-notch and the dialogue is fresh enough to never becoming too boring, even when the film seems to teeter off towards the side into some questionable out-of-place weirdness.  

2½ butterflies out of 5