TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES II: THE SECRET OF THE OOZE [1991]

TV director Michael Pressman replaces Steve Barron for the sequel to 1990 mega-hit in the mind-numbingly silly The Secret Of The Ooze.
A rushed job to appease the studio and it's young fans it's filled with terrible humor, sloppy storytelling, plot-holes galore and plenty of catch-phrases that never actully caught on.  The film is notably a lot lighter in tone and holds back on the violence, compared to the original film that spent a lot of time in the shadows.  Hell, I don't even recall the turtles actually using their signature weapons more than once each here.  Having not enjoyed it all that much as a kid when it was first in theaters, I wasn't expecting much with an adult revisit.  I got exactly as I thought I would.  Put on two pairs of nostalgia glasses over the first pair to enjoy this one, kids.

1½ shitty excuses for Rocksteady & Bebop out of 5

Surf Ninjas (1993)

Wow. I... Holy shit. Where do I start?
Released during the ninja craze of the early '90s (following the popularity of TMNT), this cheesy, harmless family film is geared mainly for the kids. There are bad dubs, stereotypes galore, and an almost non-existant plotline. Rob Schneider (who was 30 when this movie was made) actually plays a high-schooler and provides minimal comic relief. Leslie Nielsen is mostly wasted. Like it or not, I grew up in this era, so these types of movies hold a kind of "fond" memory for me. For everyone else, I can realize why this is considered trash.

1.5 ridiculously ripped "kids" out of 5