Fearless: Director's Cut (2006)

A biopic of Master Huo Yuanjia, founder of the world-renowned Jin Wu Sports Federation. It's best to forget that it has any connection to a real historical figure, though, at least until the end credits roll. Doing so frees you of any need to forgive fight scenes pushing the limits of what’s humanly possible, even by one as masterful as Jet under the guidance of Yuen Woo-ping.
The Dir's Cut adds 40 minutes to the running time of the International Edition, bringing the total to 141 mins. It makes a huge difference to the overall feeling and, more importantly, to the emotional impact of the story. The best of what's new is in the middle section. It's a quiet, reflective time wherein a fiercely competitive martial artist discovers that there's more to life than fighting.

4 untangled knots out of 5

THE EXPENDABLES 3 [2014]

Director Patrick Hughes reunites Sly Stallone and the boys for one last job (wasn't the first film "one last job"?) in the third and hopefully final Expendables film.

This time around Mel Gibson plays the big bad with a strong lack of enthusiasm that doesn't help the stale action scenes one bit.  Arnie has finally run out of bad one-liners and resorts to repeating a famous one, not once but twice.  Jet Li, who's known for his ass-kicking martial arts skills and not his wooden acting, only acts here.  I could go on forever with reasons why this film lacked but it's not surprising.
What was surprising was how much fun the second film was, which this one is nothing like.

1 choppa out of 5

Romeo Must Die (2000)

Sometimes you expect a turd.
Sometimes expectations are met.
Bad music. Bad acting. Bad editing. Bad dialogue.
Hopefully this’ll be the worst movie I watch this year.

0½ x-ray out of 5

The Master (1989)

A student travels to America to meet up with his martial arts master but finds trouble when he gets there. The story is like a Bruce Lee plot that's been updated with some comedy and romance. Jet Li in a Tsui Hark movie is usually a sign of quality, but The Master is very far from their usual standard; it just about managed to avoid a press of the stop button.
It's also a complicated mess of different languages and dodgy dubbing. I had three choices with the audio: 100% Cantonese; 100% English; or the only one that made any sense had each person speaking their own native language but the English dubbing of the American actors was appalling.

2 many si-fus out of 5

Dr. Wai in the Scriptures with No Words (1996)

Two stories happen simultaneously in this bizarre adventure. One is modern day harsh reality, while the other is an historical, pulp fictional adventure story. Jet Li’s character in the modern era is the writer of the other, wherein he becomes the hero of his own imagination, the titular Dr Wai: Adventure King. Modern Jet uses the fantasy world to compensate for his real world troubles. All goes well until the story gets some co-authors that create a very Gilliam-esque situation with a Chinese twist.

NOTE: Two versions of the film exist. The one I watched was the original Ching Siu-tung version (aka Hong Kong Dir Cut). Tsui Hark was hired to reshoot a large part of it for an International Cut, making it more linear.

2½ mighty pens out of 5

Tai Chi Master (1993)

Aka: Twin Warriors

It saddens me that when most people hear the name Yuen Woo-ping the first thing they think of is The Matrix (1999). I love The Matrix, but what he achieved with actors only partially trained in combat is a mere shadow of his ability; for the real Woo-ping you need to go to his Chinese films.

Every bone-crunching and ankle-busting flight of fancy in Tai Chi Master was achieved in-camera with no CGI. If that wasn't enough you also have Jet Li, the greatest movie martial artist of his generation, and Michelle Yeoh who is arguably the most graceful. Jet is on top form, using his innate ability to be both effortlessly bad-ass and endearingly naïve simultaneously.

4 pole dances out of 5

The Enforcer (1995)

aka: My Father Is a Hero / Letter To Daddy / Jet Li's The Enforcer

Despite the crappy English titles it's a well-made and pretty damn exciting flick. It’s utterly predicable, but that doesn't mean it’s boring.
There’s an absent father theme throughout that’s neither too overpowering nor schmaltzy. Elsewhere, Jet does what Jet does best both on and off (embarrassingly visible) wires. There’s some wonderfully creative use of the environment during action scenes that make it feel like a Jackie Chan adventure with the violence knob turned up higher than usual.
It’s written by Wong Jing, who managed to include a ten-year-old kid that isn't annoying. In fact, he kicks ass some of the time! Good job, Jing.

3 Asian rope tricks out of 5

The Legend of Fong Sai-yuk II (1993)

aka: The Legend II / Fong Sai-yuk II

The Chinese film industry isn't like Hollywood. In China you can have an idea for a film, shoot it and have it on general release four months later, just like this spectacular sequel that came out in the same year as the first Fong Sai-yuk film. With the same director and cast (minus a few characters) it achieves a similar balance of comedy, action and emotion.
Remember the kung fu contest? They didn't (hell, they couldn't) exceed that level of awesome, but they gave it a damn good try. Fans of wire work wuxia won’t be disappointed.

3½ Red Flowers out of 5

Hero (2002)

A visually stunning film filled with colour and grace that was unfairly compared to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) upon release. Both films are about honour and sacrifice, but beyond that they're very different.
While Hero is technically a part of the martial arts genre, there's much more to it than mere spectacle. The feelings and motivations that fuel the fighting are of more importance, so if you choose to ignore that side of it, then you'll be getting less than half of the full story.
It gathered together some of the best actors in China, all of whom gave subtly different performances for each of the interconnected stories.
Composer Tan Dun's score is as beautiful as Yimou's imagery.

5 flickering flames out of 5

Cause: The Birth of Hero (2002)

A documentary by Gan Lu about the making of Zhang Yimou’s Hero (2002) that’s almost twice as long as the film it documents. It’s a tedious, amateur film with no thought put into construction or presentation. The audio drops in and out frequently and the organisation is appallingly bad. It fails to capture the essence of its subject. It feels instead like a cheaply made wedding video, replete with wind noise and half-assed framing. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to watch it more than once.

1 wrap party out of 5

The Defender (1994)

aka: The Bodyguard from Beijing

Jet Li plays a super-efficient bodyguard hired to protect Christy Chung's spoilt little rich bitch character. She's used to getting her own way, so resents his interfering methods. He doesn't care. Neither did I.
Christy is as beautiful as ever and Jet is as competent as ever at the fighting, but it's all very silly outside of that.

2 yawns out of 5

Once Upon a Time in China and America (1997)

aka: Once Upon a Time in China 6

Look at the poster art! Jet Li is back as Wong Fei-Hung! Yay!
Sadly, that's where the celebrations end because this final entry in the OUaTiC series is an abomination. Sammo Hung directs and choreographs an uncharacteristically lazy Tsui Hark script, filled with characters that have no reason to be there other than to advance the clichéd plot. Reversing the cultural situation and blending the Martial Arts film with the Western is an interesting idea, but it's never fully capitalised upon.
Jet made worse films than this when he went to America, but surely this must be his worst Hong Kong film?

1½ English speaking native Indians out of 5

Once Upon a Time in China 3 (1993)

Wong Fei-Hung can kick seven shades of shinola out of a bad guy, but he’s a genuine amateur when it comes to romance. That part of his character is further explored in the third instalment, making it a lot funnier than the previous two. Tsui also remembers to layer the laughter with tragedy, because one without the other is only half a story.
The wire-work is once again exceptional and builds to an amazing finale that won’t disappoint fans of the series.

3½ Lion Heads out of 5

Once Upon a Time in China 2 (1992)

OUaTiC 2 was the 100th film to depict the life of Wong Fei-Hung, so they needed to do something special to mark the occasion. Both Jet Li and Rosamund Kwan reprise their respective roles. They got Donnie Yen to join in the action this time; he gets frenetic with his pole.
The first half focusses mainly on character development, and the second half on action. There was no way they could surpass the ladder scene from the previous film, but they gave it a damn good try.

3½ needles in the face out of 5

Once Upon a Time in China (1991)

Jet Li takes on the role of legendary martial arts hero Wong Fei-Hung. He tries desperately to hold onto traditional values while an ugly foreign presence threatens to tear China apart.
The feeling that an era is ending fills the film with poignancy and is perhaps most evident in Shi-Kwan Yen’s magnificent performance. He’s not the star of the show, but he’s the one that draws my sympathies most.
OUaTiC was my introduction to Tsui Hark's film-making style and remains the benchmark by which I measure all his other works.

4½ shadowless kicks out of 5

Fist of Legend (1994)

Good guy Gordon Chan remade Bruce Lee’s Fist of Fury (1972), and through careful writing managed to surpass the original in many ways.
Jet Li took on the Chen Zhen role, making the character less two-dimensional, less consumed with rage, and much more emotionally aware of the consequences of his actions. Jet’s wireless martial arts ability flourished under Yuen Woo Ping’s instruction making the action scenes equally as legendary as Bruce’s own, and a hell of a lot more violent.
The film earns a place on the list of remakes that don’t suck.

4½ invading ants out of 5

Hitman (1998)

aka: Contract Killer

Martial arts action comedy that I think would've benefited from having less of the comedy and more of the martial arts. Jet fumbles through most of it with a Jackie Chan style innocence, until the finale lets him show what he can do when untamed. He kicks better than he acts.

I enjoy watching Eric Tsang, but he too is capable of much more than this.

2½ new suits out of 5

THE EXPENDABLES 2 [2012]

Director Simon West's sequel to the 2010 shitfest is surprisingly better than the original.

The Expendables 2 delivers the goods like a heavy dose of testosterone injected straight into the head and in the process killing most of your brain cells. The dialogue is predictably terrible, the plot is like a paint by numbers and the jokes are groan worthy, but it's so damned loud and violent you won't care.  

You'll hate yourself for loving this shit but if you're going to go with dumb then go with fun.

2½ hilariously high bodycounts out of 5

THE EXPENDABLES [2010]

Sylvester Stallone recruits a who's who list of other 80's action stars to kick some ass along side modern action stars.  The premise sounds like a healthy shot of guilty pleasure testosterone.

Only it's not.

Instead it tests the viewer's ability to not find something else better to do.  So many frustrating moments of half-baked action that could have at least resorted to some sort of interesting cliched conflict but never pans out into anything other than grunts & snorts over CGI blood.
Feck this wasted opportunity.

1½ for 3 cool fight scenes out of 5

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

Brendan Fraser returns. Rachel Weisz decided she wanted to go off and be a proper actress in proper films, judge for yourself if she succeeded or not, so the Evelyn character is played by someone new. Alex, the irritating kid, is grown up and is now an irritating young adult.
Just because you can make a trilogy doesn't mean you should.

1 are we done yet? out of 5