Romeo Must Die (2000)

Sometimes you expect a turd.
Sometimes expectations are met.
Bad music. Bad acting. Bad editing. Bad dialogue.
Hopefully this’ll be the worst movie I watch this year.

0½ x-ray out of 5

Doom (2005)

Doom delivered pretty much what I’d expected it would; it’s a movie based on a First Person Shooter, it was never going to be high art.
It threw in a few welcome surprises to stop it being just marines in dark tunnels shooting at uglies. It had The Rock delivering some fun but corny lines that paid homage to its origins, and in one stand out scene it turned those origins into something daring that was as laughable as it was awesome. Also, to its credit, the creatures weren't all CGI.
I guess saying it’s better than the Resident Evil films isn't much of a recommendation, but it's the best one I've got.

2½ killcams out of 5

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)

I haven’t had much time to watch film the past few weeks, so when I did have a few hours to spare I chose this; I am regret. It’s a miracle I made it past the first ten minutes. To my shame I wanted to see Spinning Bird Kick in action, so I stuck it out for fifty minutes before reaching a suitable level of self-hatred that mercifully forced me hit the square button. Avoid or endure, it’s up to you.

0 Shadaloo my ass out of 5