REDEMPTION [2013]

aka HUMMINGBIRD

Jason Statham has been on a long run of exceptionally shitty movies so the dark, dirty and somewhat snarky Redemption (Hummingbird in the UK) is a welcome addition to his filmography.

Steven Knight (writer of Dirty Pretty Things & Eastern Promises) writes and directs this gritty crime-drama, paving the way for Statham's most impressive job as a genuine actor yet.  While the revenge/vigilante premise is nothing to write home about, it's the characters that matter here.  Both Statham and Agata Buzek insert the perfect amount of chemistry, heart and drama into this otherwise cold-hearted and calloused film.  The rhythm of the film is a little bit off and there's some questionable moments but in the end I found it to be pleasing nonetheless.

3½ red dresses out of 5

PUSHER III: I'M THE ANGEL OF DEATH [2005]

The final instalment in Nicolas Winding Refn's Pusher series, I'm The Angel Of Death follows a day in the life of Zlatko Buric's character Milo, the aging drug lord who's the only character to appear in all three films.
It's probably the weakest of the series, seeing as Milo isn't even the least bit likeable, even when you do see where he's coming from.   Like Frank and Tonny before him, he has his minor and major problems but does nothing to fix them himself and really just comes off as a sociopathic old douche.  Still the attention to detail and the realism of it all is quite intriguing and makes for at least one decent viewing.

3 cases of the trots out of 5

The Tenant (1976)

The story of a quiet, unassuming bachelor who moves into an apartment that he later learns has an unpleasant history, and that’s all I'm willing to reveal about the plot. It’s a slow moving affair that takes time to get to where it’s going, but the steps taken to get there are never dull.
Polanski is adept at turning the typically mundane into something bubbling menacingly with nightmarish potential. He doesn't make life simple for his viewers, but that’s his way and, I would argue, is a necessary part of the process. You either accept his vision or you hide from it.
It's the third film in what’s known as Polanski’s Apartment Trilogy. The others are Repulsion (1965) and Rosemary’s Baby (1968). They share a common theme but aren't connected in any other way.

4 reflections out of 5

Ace Attorney (2012)

A courtroom drama based on the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney games. I've scant knowledge of the series, but it’s enough to recognise characters and determine whether or not they're presented faithfully.
During the trials, as you expect, there’s lots of finger pointing and cries of “Objection!” Phoenix stalls for time and presents evidence as it falls into his lap. But outside of the courtroom there’s very little sleuthing; the investigation part of the game is poorly represented.
Miike did okay aesthetically, the wild hairstyles, the Judge perched high, the jury reactions, etc, are nicely realised. However, the film never peaks at any stage. It drags itself along steadily for a bloated 135 minutes, which, ironically, makes it one of the better paced Miike movies I've seen.

2 cross-examinations out of 5

Dr. Wai in the Scriptures with No Words (1996)

Two stories happen simultaneously in this bizarre adventure. One is modern day harsh reality, while the other is an historical, pulp fictional adventure story. Jet Li’s character in the modern era is the writer of the other, wherein he becomes the hero of his own imagination, the titular Dr Wai: Adventure King. Modern Jet uses the fantasy world to compensate for his real world troubles. All goes well until the story gets some co-authors that create a very Gilliam-esque situation with a Chinese twist.

NOTE: Two versions of the film exist. The one I watched was the original Ching Siu-tung version (aka Hong Kong Dir Cut). Tsui Hark was hired to reshoot a large part of it for an International Cut, making it more linear.

2½ mighty pens out of 5

The Tale of Zatoichi (1962)

The first Zatoichi film isn’t a typical origin story. Dir Kenji Misumi relies on Shintarô Katsu to show us who Zatoichi is through his actions and his associations, while telling us only a little of how or why he came to be that way. Shintarô, who has to work extra hard because he can’t use his eyes to convey emotions, gives a sympathetic but strong performance. Misumi’s long takes, dramatic timing and occasional playful movements complement that performance beautifully. And yet, it’s also a film of contrasts. Most overtly in the swordplay that shows how degrading the amateur, chaotic mob mentality is compared to the honourable, masterful and purposeful samurai exchange.

3½ manipulations out of 5

Rush Hour 3 (2007)

Making it from the opening credits to the closing credits of the third instalment is a test of endurance. It's as if the writer didn't understand the characters, but it was written by the same guy that did the second film, so what happened? Did he do it the college way: wait until the last minute and pull an all-nighter? And what the hell was Polanski doing in it? Too many questions that I don't really want answers for.
There are rumours of a fourth entry. If it happens, please kill Carter.

1 waste of my time out of 5

Doom (2005)

Doom delivered pretty much what I’d expected it would; it’s a movie based on a First Person Shooter, it was never going to be high art.
It threw in a few welcome surprises to stop it being just marines in dark tunnels shooting at uglies. It had The Rock delivering some fun but corny lines that paid homage to its origins, and in one stand out scene it turned those origins into something daring that was as laughable as it was awesome. Also, to its credit, the creatures weren't all CGI.
I guess saying it’s better than the Resident Evil films isn't much of a recommendation, but it's the best one I've got.

2½ killcams out of 5

SPRING BREAKERS [2013]

Writer/director Harmony Korine makes films that blurs the lines between exploitive trash and fascinating social commentary.
Spring Breakers tells a tale of the Facebook generation and the glamorization of alcohol & drugs, over-sexed youth, violence and material possessions.  Here it manages to propose a potentially interesting subject to dissect but then forgets about it and just milks it's allure to stupid youth for all it's worth.  Korine has a great eye for colors and scenery, as James Franco makes a wonderfully frightening psychotic but the rest leaves absolutely nothing to think about.  The biggest mistake is dropping the only sympathetic character so early in the story thereby leaving us with nothing but abhorrently repulsive characters.

2 silly bints out of 5

PUSHER II: WITH BLOOD ON MY HANDS [2004]

Director Nicolas Winding Refn continues his abrasive Danish crime series with Pusher II: With Blood On My Hands.
This time around he focuses on the first film's supporting character Tonny, brilliantly played by Mads Mikkelsen.  Just coming out of prison, Tonny is a little brain damaged now (after his altercation with Frank in the first film) and he sets out to fuck up again because it's all he knows.  Tonny isn't as likeable as Frank at first but once you begin to understand him, one can't help but feel sympathetic for this lost in life thug.  It might be shot with grainy hand held cameras but it never feels cheap or forced and instead pushes the realism and intensity to another level that is complimentary of the violent and depressing narrative.

4 coke dicks out of 5

THIS IS THE END [2013]

There's something to admire about a bunch of buddies sitting around indulging in debauchery, being ridiculously crude and well, just shooting the shit while the rest of the world is turning to shit.
This Is The End captures that perfectly, courtesy of writer/directors Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg.
It features the entire Frat Pack in both leading roles and cameos playing exaggerated versions of themselves as they try to survive the apocalypse while hiding out in James Franco's house.  I loved the insanely stupid idea brought to life with a witty script, high energy, multiple in-jokes and one of the most pig-snorting, popcorn spewing funniest cinematic experiences I've had in a long time.

4 shitty weird Canadian lives out of 5

THE THIN RED LINE [1998]

Director Terrence Malick's adaptation of James Jones' WWII novel The Thin Red Line loosely follows the savage Battle Of Mt. Austen in the Pacific Theater.
It explores the beauty of life, earth and love and completely contrasts that with insanity, destruction and unexplainable hatred.  It shifts between startling beauty and frenzied ugliness through it's stunning photography, wonderful acting, thoughtful monologues and what I'd consider some of the best work composer Hans Zimmer has ever written.  It doesn't serve the viewer a standard story like Saving Private Ryan did the same year but instead asks the audience to search their hearts for the emotional core of the narrative.

5 flickering flames out of 5

Alfie (1966)

Alfie doesn't just occasionally break the fourth wall, he grinds it to rubble with sharp wit and sledgehammer sexism. He’s an unabashed cad that lives for the moment. He’s the King of his own little world and you’re right there beside him every step of the way. He speaks directly to you, making you an accomplice to his misdeeds. Shame on you.
Michael Caine had a number of iconic roles throughout the sixties; Alfie is one of the best. I first watched it during my late teens. The impact of what I saw has stayed with me ever since and a dozen subsequent viewings haven’t diminished it in the slightest.

5 shadows cast out of 5

DEATH SENTENCE [2007]

Saw director James Wan makes an effort to add real emotion into his violent filmography with an adaptation of the 2nd novel in Brian Garfield's Paul Kersey series, Death Sentence.
Kevin Bacon does a fantastic job in the role that Charles Bronson defined years before in the Death Wish film series, only this time around Wan & co. don't glamorize the idea of vigilantism and that makes for a far more frightening and realistic experience.  Apart from some great performances from Garret Hedlund & John Goodman and some excellent photography, including a dizzying tracking shot, the rest of the film is an uneven mess.  The emotional arcs are all badly timed and placed in the wrong spots making it hard to really invest any real feelings into the story.

3 taxi driver allusions out of 5

MONSTERS, INC. [2001]

It might not be one of Pixar/Disney's best films but Monsters, Inc. is most definitely one of it's cutest.
From Finding Nemo director Lee Unkrich and The Simpsons director David Silverman, this film is guaranteed to charm the pants off you with it's lovable characters, colorful visuals and vivid imagination.  It lacks the finesse of previous Pixar films or really any jokes for the older crowd but it's still a pretty fun ride, even if the kids will probably enjoy it more.  John Goodman and Billy Crystal's chemistry is just as good as Tom Hanks and Tim Allen's in Toy Story and that makes me eager for more of these delightful characters and their hijinks.

3½ yellow snow cones out of 5

Rurouni Kenshin (2012)

RK is based on a manga I haven’t read (there’s also an anime called ‘Samurai X’ I haven’t seen), so I came to the story free of expectations. It squeezes a lot in but it does it in style, leaving just a few loose ends.
Being set during the changing Meiji era allows the visuals to offer up a traditional aesthetic with a more colourful modern flair. It looks fantastic.
The majority of the cast are well-written with sufficient time spent characterising before the drama really begins. There’s one comic-like villain who feels somewhat out of place, but he helps lighten the tone.
Director Keishi Ōtomo sure knows how to make action scenes exciting; they’re fast and concise with just enough of the fantastical to get the heart racing. I'm stoked for a sequel.

3½ paralysing techniques out of 5

Rush Hour 2 (2001)

The sequel that everyone knew would happen managed to improve upon the formulaic first entry in every way.
The stunts are more suited to Jackie's talents. There are even moments where it feels like one of his homegrown adventures.
Tucker is still an Eddie Murphy clone but is more tolerable than before; he gets some genuinely funny lines which helps.
Quips fuelled by the cultural differences between the two men once again provide much of the comedy; if you're of a sensitive nature you may even find some of it offensive.

3 egg rolls out of 5

PUSHER [1996]

Danish director Nicolas Winding Refn's debut, Pusher is a tough-skinned glimpse into the world of a middle-man lowlife drug dealer and the hole he digs deeper & deeper for himself over a week.  

The first part of a trilogy is a tense thriller shot like a documentary that seethes with unsettling realism and somehow escapes all the usual trappings of the standard Hollywood crime drama.  Kim Bodnia does an excellent job as the criminal protagonist that you can't help but root for no matter how low he is in his desperate yet idiotic decisions.  A tale with no remorse, this is a film that is just a taste of what's to come in Refn's career.  

4 pussy fingers out of 5

THE FOUNTAIN [2006]

The Fountain is a deeply personal film from director Darren Aronofsky that I wasn't too sure about at first but several years later have found it's aged quite nicely, amidst all its problems.
It explores themes of love, life and death meshed in with religion, science, theologies and philosophies which makes for a bit of an abnormal experience for someone not expecting it.  Still, Aronofsky never quite finds an even flow for the narrative or a heart to anchor the human aspects of this overly ambitious story, so when we are supposed to feel our hearts are manipulated by Clint Mansell's wonderful music.  When it all comes down to it The Fountain is a daring celebration of human mortality and an admirable effort in doing so.

3 Trees Of Life out of 5

BEAUTIFUL CREATURES [2013]

The comparisons to the more popular supernatural teen romance franchise are inevitable with The Fisher King writer Richard LeGravenese's Beautiful Creatures.
Only what we have here is something much more enjoyable than sparkly vampires with a story that can easily be predicted by the first 5 minutes but it doesn't really matter.  The characters are more interesting, the dialogue is punchier & funnier and the actors are far more appealing, including Jeremy Irons, Emma Thompson and Emmy Rossum turning in some delightful hammy and diabolical performances.  All in all, if there were a franchise, I'd have no problem watching more.

3 three dimensional movies out of 5

Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow (2008)

The children of the Avengers are trained to fight like their parents once did, but there's been nothing to fight for or against until now…
The film is aimed at a young audience, but in my experience even kids can spot plot holes and question why things don't ring true when something else is taken as a given. Heroes of Tomorrow is filled with those kinds of errors.
On the plus side, the young heroes weren't as annoying as they could've been, given their motivations and their age. In fact, they were mostly bland. The only one I found slightly interesting was Thor's daughter, Thoruun, with her impulsiveness and her father's anachronistic traits.
It spends a little more time on characterisation than most of the Marvel animations I've seen recently, but it ends in the usual way.

2½ sins of the surrogate father out of 5

Ame agaru (1999)

aka: When the Rain Lifts / After the Rain

A rōnin and his dutiful wife spend time at an Inn waiting for bad weather to change to favourable conditions. While they wait they interact with the other visitors and share in their life and their concerns for a time.
Ame agaru is based on the last screenplay ever written by Akira Kurosawa (adapted from a story by Shûgorô Yamamoto). It was directed by his long-time assistant, Takashi Koizumi, and stars Akira Terao and Shirô Mifune (the son of Toshirô). Those attachments may well give a viewer the wrong impression of what the film has to offer. The result is a quiet jidaigeki that’s more akin to the work of Yôji Yamada than Kurosawa. It's a reflective work that takes cautious steps toward an open-ended realisation.

4 benevolent lessons out of 5

WORLD WAR Z [2013]

Director Marc Forster's "adaptation" of Max Brooks' zombie novel World War Z was plagued by multiple production problems & re-shoots, which normally results in an uneven mess of a film.
Surprisingly it doesn't happen here.  In fact if you weren't aware of the behind-the-scenes dilemmas you wouldn't even notice the slight bumps here and there.  It's basically Brooks' novel in name only, with a few brief nods to the book's text and instead it's an effective adrenaline fueled thrill-ride for the kids.  I quite enjoyed it but apart from a few well-crafted action sequences there's not much to think about after all is said and done.

3 protective magazines out of 5

Rush Hour (1998)

A buddy cop movie that teamed the inimitable Jackie Chan with the irritating Chris Tucker for some culture clash shenanigans.
It's Jackie at his most basic level: the comedy fish out of water character that takes a bit of a hammering during a fight but ultimately wins through sheer endurance. The only challenge he seems to have been presented with was the English dialogue.
Tucker on the other hand challenges the viewer in every scene. He's the flamboyant, loveable fool that I'd no love for. He was as welcome as an ex-girlfriend at a funeral.

2½ assumptions out of 5

The Blade (1995)

Tsui’s remake of SB’s The One-Armed Swordsman (1967) isn't his usual kind of wire-fu makeover; he simply adds his vision to an existing story, creating a layer of tragedy and gritty determination that feels like a brutal fist in the gut. It even leaves a lingering ache.
His camera blitzes through shadowy dwellings and hearts set ablaze by vengeful longings. When one person gets what they want, another person is left torn apart.
It’s a great film with masterful editing but is perhaps much too bleak thematically to be enjoyed often.

3½ links in the chain out of 5

The Devil's Backbone (2001)

In my mind there's a distinction between a 'Horror Movie' and a 'Ghost Story'. TDB is definitely in the latter category, at least for a time. There are so many different threads for Del Toro to weave that the ghost element gets pushed aside to make time for the trials of childhood, the mechanisms of loss, the necessity for truth and, handled with sensitivity, the effect the Spanish Civil War had on its citizens.
The camera moves effortlessly through the beautifully lit environment, capturing the reality that shapes the young protagonists.
When the supernatural element returns it doesn't feel forced because it wasn't forgotten, it was just biding its time.

4 locked secrets out of 5

THE PURGE [2013]

The Purge is an intense and quite often frustrating home invasion thriller from writer/director James DeMonaco.
It starts out quite intriguing with an attempt to deliver a message to viewers but ultimately gets lost in the mix of stupid character choices and mind-numbing predictability.  I expected the worst, based on the more than horrible reactions but I suspect a lot of it had to do with the touchy material that most "wishy washy" people found very uncomfortable to think about it.  The film's biggest disappointment is that with a bit more thought the fantastic concept wouldn't have been put to waste with such a shitty execution.

2 flower bouquets out of 5

Paycheck (2003)

When I watch a film based on a Philip K Dick story I cross my fingers and repeat the phrase, 'please be good, please be good,' over and over like a mantra, but they almost never are. Paycheck is based on a short story of the same name, padded out to almost two hours!
Part of the reason it’s so bad is the sequential deus ex machinas the story relies upon. It may have worked on paper but it's a giant finger that points and laughs at its own incredulity onscreen.
Another reason it sucks balls is because of Ben Affleck. He won an award for his performance, but unfortunately for him it was a Razzie. Although, it's a little unfair they didn't award Uma one, too; she was equally as worthy.

1½ cheques checked out of 5

QUARTET [2012]

Actor Dustin Hoffman makes his directorial debut with Quartet, a good-natured drama about an old age home for retired musicians.
It's fairly predictable, probably a mite bit too quiet for a lot of folks and it's filled with a gaggle of fussy old English farts that will most definitely drive off the average movie-goer.  However if you've got an open mind, you'll be rewarded with a sharp and funny script, packed with wonderful performances, particularly Billy Connolly and Pauline Collins.  I expected it to be sappy and emotionally manipulative but it's far from it, as Hoffman keeps it level-headed and nothing more than a genuine lazy afternoon delight.

3½ Bettie Davis quotes out of 5

Spun (2002)

A drug culture movie that squanders a large part of its potential in trying to be edgy and off-kilter. A little restraint in the editing dept and more faith in the actors, all of whom seem very at home in their role, would've helped Spun feel less like an attempt to mimic Aronofsky.
Beneath the noise the spiralling narrative and the sharp cuts are some quiet moments that feel like a respectful nod to Linklater. It's during those scenes that the film has more to say than at any other time.

3 days speeding out of 5

Fire Dragon (1994)

If you watch enough Woo-ping films, you'll see trends. It would even be possible to create a graph of when action scenes occur, when character building occurs and when comedy occurs; those last two would occupy the same space some of the time. Fire Dragon fits that formula, but being predicable doesn't mean it's boring. It stars Brigitte Lin as an assassin with some nifty sword skills and some dangerous pyrotechnic skills. If she can't achieve her goal with force, she'll find another way.
The set-up enables Yuen to get crazy with wires as only he can. It's not his best work, but should satisfy fans eager for more.

3 fistfuls of glitter seeds out of 5

Kill Bill: Volume 1 (2003)

QT's first misstep is 100% style over substance. It's the film equivalent of a kid in a Lego store who builds a structure that threatens to collapse under the weight of its own aspirations because it has no real foundation. It's the director saying: I like Chanbara, Westerns, Blaxploitation, Wuxia, and Uma's feet, so I'm going to put them all together. Aren't I the coolest?
I didn't much like the film but I'm glad QT is in the business. His framing is nearly always perfect and his passion for his craft is plain to see.
If the two films ever get re-edited and commercially released as the rumoured Whole Bloody Affair then I'll happily reassess the work, but it'll need to be a complete pacing re-edit and not just a lazy-ass joining.

2½ splatters of blood in snow out of 5

Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight (2008)

DoAT was the title of the first book in Weis and Hickman's Chronicles Trilogy. It had a large cast of characters but each one was unique and over the course of the novel it was possible to really care deeply for each of them. With such a rich source material to draw from, a filmed version could've been great. Unfortunately, the animation is like bad Saturday morning cartoons from the 80s, the voice acting is hollow and ill-fitting, and there’s a complete lack of atmosphere; it's a genuine travesty. It's been five years now since it was made, so I'm guessing we're not getting versions of Book II or III. Given the quality herein, I don't think many Dragonlance fans will mourn the loss.

1 misguided twin out of 5

HICK [2011]

It's unfortunate when actors give strong performances for weak films.
Eddie Redmayne & Blake Lively do just that for director Derick Martini's road movie Hick, based on Andrea Portes' novel of the same name.
Chloë Grace Moretz pulls off a pretty impressive job as a runaway teen who meets a gaggle of folks who seem fun at first but as she gets to know them better it becomes apparent they're all nothing but trouble.   It's overly gritty, terribly uneven and the whole thing feels pretty pointless.  If not for the amazing acting I would have turned it off after about 30 minutes of this trashy dribble.

2 fluffy god-damned delicious eggs out of 5

TRAINSPOTTING [1996]

Director Danny Boyle takes on the difficult task of adapting author Irvine Welsh's non-linear first novel Trainspotting and turns it into one of the best and more accurate films about hard drug addiction.  

It's a raw, grungy tale about betrayal, youth subculture and being imprisoned with too much freedom.  Boyle allows the film to seep into your nerves with a flashy soundtrack, captivating wide angles & colors, a cast of charismatic, yet seedy, characters and a narrative that gleefully threatens to derail itself with each corner it takes.   One of the defining time capsules of the mid '90's, Trainspotting is fun, nasty and not afraid to spit in your face.

4½ shitty beds out of 5

Indie Game: The Movie (2012)

The Kickstarter funded Indie Game: The Movie manages to be both a love letter to indie games and accessible to those who've never touched a controller in their life. By focusing on the passion behind the games rather than the minor details, it tells stories that are both compelling and easy to relate to. The Super Meat Boy story is a joy to watch even if you know exactly how it ends.

But what really appealed to me about it was how it made me sympathize with creators who were less than likable. Phil Fish and Jonathan Blow are two of the most notorious figures in indie gaming, and while I'm unwilling to spend five minutes in a room with Fish, I came away with compassion and a better understanding of him. It feels honest in a way few documentaries do, and that, more than the subject matter, is what makes it worth watching.

3.5 ways to communicate without making friends out of 5.

Lockout (2012)

He's changed his name and lost the trademark eyepatch but he's not fooling anyone, Guy Pearce is Snake Plissken in Escape from MS One. That's what you're getting, so adjust your expectations accordingly.
I like Pearce, he's delivered some great performances in the past, but I'd not seen him in this kind of role before. He plays it with a tongue in cheek attitude that helped the film immensely. Even when delivering some corny one-liners he keeps his charm. A comedy/villainous Scotsman was the only other nice addition to a mostly bland cast.

2½ aliases out of 5

A Chinese Ghost Story (2011)

Ching Siu-tung’s classic supernatural/comedy/romance re-imagined for a modern audience. It’s respectful to the original but throws in some new elements that don't feel out of place, and happily it keeps the CGI to a mostly support role; it could've been a lot worse.
With more money to play around with it’s no surprise that lighting is better, sets are larger and film stock superior, but it really can’t compare to the original in terms of emotion. The two leads (Yifei Liu and Shaoqun Yu) lack the chemistry of Joey Wong and the late, great Leslie Cheung.

2½ candy pieces out of 5

The Dragon Chronicles: The Maidens of Heavenly Mountains (1994)

aka: Semi-Gods and Semi-Devils

A Chinese martial arts fantasy from the halcyon years with an almost incomprehensible story. Who’s that guy? Wasn't she… but… WTF is going on? Despite the head-scratching there’s a lot of fun to be had because the production is bursting at the seams with ambition. All the usual genre staples are in place: flying maidens, supernatural occurrences, daggers of light projecting from fingertips, exploding rocks, etc.
The real draw is seeing Brigitte Lin, Gong Li and Sharla Cheung (aka Man Cheung) together. They eat up the screen with grace and beauty. Brigitte fills two roles, but she’s done this kind of film before so she feels at home. I was surprised by how well Gong Li adapted.

3 heroic losers out of 5

BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO [2012]

Berberian Sound Studio is an unique slow-burning psychological horror film, starring Toby Jones as a British sound engineer in the 1970's who begins losing his mind as he works on a disturbing Italian slasher flick.
Director Peter Strickland makes the great decision of never allowing the viewer to ever see the film being worked on and only to hear it, making for an unsettling atmosphere within the stark and outlandish studio.  If you have a black sense of humor, a taste for the weird and a love for the technique of filmmaking, this movie will probably be right down your alley.

4 grazing cows out of 5

THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE [2013]

30 Rock director Don Scardino makes a bumpy transition from TV to the big screen with the oddball comedy The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.
With a completely harebrained concept the film is disappointingly predictable and hardly takes any risks to stand above the run-of-the-mill inane comedy.  Still, it manages to pack in enough laughs and heart, even when it does take a distracting turn into the disgusting.  The uneven tone of the film makes the simple plot seem messier than it really is and that's where it hurts this potentially great idea the most.

2½ brain rapists out of 5

MAN OF STEEL [2013]

With more than a little help from Chris Nolan, director Zack Snyder reimagines the Superman story in the highly anticipated Man Of Steel.
Even though it doesn't really explore anything new with the story, Snyder & co make up for it with sheer spectacle and sensory overload.  Henry Cavill falls a little flat as Supes but makes a great, moody Clark Kent, with Russell Crowe, Kevin Costner and the ever-wonderful Michael Shannon all turning in some strong performances.  It never really does find a proper balance to carry it's own weight but still manages to soar as pure eye-candy escapism.

3 Kryptonian nomads out of 5

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010)

Dee is a kind of Chinese Sherlock that exists in a world based in reality that has a large dose of fantasy heaped on top. He’s tasked with uncovering the cause of some seemingly supernatural murders, all the while juggling political beliefs that differ from that of his employer.
Dee was a real individual (Di Renjie) that lived during the Tang Dynasty, but I'm confident in saying he couldn't do the things he does here.
It’s Tsui Hark through and through, but it has problems. The most obvious being the great Sammo Hung choreography gets smothered by a thick layer of unnecessary CGI; it does a good job hiding the wires but it cheapens the final product.  Stop with the CGI, Tsui; please, please, please stop.

2½ cases of extreme sunburn out of 5

IDENTITY THIEF [2013]

With the exception of a handful of films, actor Jason Bateman does mostly shit outside of Arrested Development. Bridesmaids Horrible Bosses director Seth Gordon's crime caper comedy Identity Thief falls under that "shit" category.
Normally with films like these I expect it to be predictable from beginning to end but count on it to provide some good throwaway laughs.  This film spurts a few minor chuckles and very little of anything else.  I really like Melissa McCarthy but even her schtick can't save this from being a complete bore.

1 throat punch out of 5

THE DARK CRYSTAL [1982]

There really is nothing like Jim Henson & Frank Oz's morbid children's fantasy puppet extravaganza The Dark Crystal.
Heavily influenced by Tolkien and the spirituality of Seth Material, Henson & Oz based their story around Brian Froud's artwork and resulted in a stunning visual masterpiece with groundbreaking animatronic effects.  Unfortunately it's the story and characters that lack any real memorable personality and that's where it really hurts the film.  Regardless of it's heavy faults, the film remains a childhood favorite and is something I hold dear to my heart.

3½ podling slaves out of 5

The Mighty Boosh Live (2006)

A Boosh live show featuring many of the characters from the bizarre TV Series. After much flaffing around during an extended introduction, ‘The Ruby of Kokundo’ story gets underway. It’s a bit of a mess structurally but has the same kind of avant-garde humour we've come to expect from the team. There’s some great sketches and some great gags, but unfortunately it all goes on much too long and the Bob Fossil character comes across as an arrogant prick instead of a selfish half-wit. It's as much miss as hit.

2½ shards of mime glass out of 5

SNITCH [2013]

Ric Roman Waugh, director of Felon, lets Dwayne Johnson carry the tense crime drama Snitch on his shoulders and he does so in a very convincing performance.
I honestly went into this film expecting brainless, excessively violent fun but instead got a pleasant surprise with something dark, broody and emotionally high-strung with very minimal violence.  Not only is Johnson great but he's joined by a strong supporting cast that knows their place and plays it well.  The only real drawback is the generic purpose of the film seems to get lost around the halfway mark and we're suddenly reminded at the very end why all this went down in the first place.

3 special deliveries out of 5

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex: Solid State Society (2006)

SSS is set two years after the end of the SAC TV Series. I'd recommend you DO NOT watch it until after you've seen all of SAC 2nd GIG.
Section 9 continues to function despite their loss, but the organisation seems to be almost on the verge of fragmenting. A new threat known as the Puppeteer brings the team together and in doing so exposes the inner feelings of some key members.
The story is pulled in opposing directions for a long time. It's frustrating, but by the end it delivers as only SAC can.
It feels like an extended episode, which is as much praise for the TV Series as it is any kind of criticism of the film.

3½ nods to Oshii out of 5

Bullet in the Head (1990)

John Woo’s harrowing war drama started life as a prequel to A Better Tomorrow (1986) but was changed, expanded, and infused with a more politically poignant ideology. It follows three friends who end up in Vietnam during the war. They’re there to make their fortune, not to fight, but in conflict no one is exempt from suspicion.
It propelled Tony Leung into stardom, and he deserved it. He delivers perfectly the kind of inner turmoil nuances that Woo fills all of his heroes with. It’s a long film and not always an enjoyable viewing experience, but it’s one that Woo fans will want to endure.
The more ambivalent alternate ending is better, imo.

3½ inner scars out of 5

3:10 TO YUMA [2007]

James Mangold's adaptation of Elmore Leonard's Western novel 3:10 To Yuma is a tightly paced ride that has it's up and downs.
This film genre is a rarity in this day and age, so I welcome it with open arms and doesn't disappoint someone starving for a good ol' horseback ridin' shoot 'em up.  Although, as a lover of all film, it falls very short and seems more like a missed opportunity.  Russell Crowe's Big Bad is an interesting character study but never quite explores it's greater potential, while Christian Bale's moody good guy is dull, dull and more dull.  Possibly the best parts of the film are the  wonderful supporting cast, including Peter Fonda, Ben Foster, Alan Tudyk & Kevin Durand and composer Marco Beltrami's wonderfully fleshed out score.

3 flaming stagecoaches out of 5