Our Mother’s House (1967)

Seven young siblings find themselves suddenly having to be self-reliant, all the while trying to understand emotions they're not equipped to deal with, and given the circumstances their strict Christian upbringing proves to be confusing more than consoling for some of them.
Occasionally British films have a terrifying realism attached to their fictional setting; such is the case with Our Mother’s House. The themes explored make it even more unnerving. It changes in the second half to a different kind of drama, one that I found less interesting but still well-made.

3½ rocking chair judgements out of 5

SCOUTS GUIDE TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE [2015]

Paranormal Activity series writer/director Christopher Landon goes for the intentionally silly with yet another zombie-comedy, Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse.
Three dweeby scouts, in their high school sophomore year, have their close friendship put to the test when their sleepy little town is ravaged by a zombie virus that affects both humans, animals and crazy old cat ladies.
For a movie like this to really work it needs to be scary, original and most of all funny, however here it sort of falters in all those categories.  It's filled with the type of humor a teenage boy would gawk over, one-dimensional large breasted women and plenty of blood spilling all over the screen.  It's pretty bad but somewhat entertaining once the action gets going.   Leading man Tye Sheridan gives the film a bit more heart than the it deserves, while Cloris Leachman & David Koechner's characters are woefully underused because they supplied the biggest laughs.

2 hard-ons for Dolly Parton out of 5

HEART LIKE A HAND GRENADE [2015]

After originally only been screened to a very small audience in 2009, director Joe Roecker's Heart Like a Hand Grenade finally saw the light of day in 2015.
It documents the 15 months pop-punk act Green Day spent in the studio recording their 2005 rock opera masterpiece American Idiot.
Like the previous documentary, ¡Cuatro!, the film doesn't really dig into the band's deeper motivation or inspiration and instead focuses on their goofy studio banter & noodling around.  However it's made better than the latter when it inserts some complete raw practice space rehearsals and a few small venue premiere performances, along with one song that didn't see a proper release, until the Broadway Musical album (which the band laughed at originally).  As fan of the act it's a real treat to go back in time and see the creation of one of my all-time favorite albums, back in the day when they still aspired to create something bigger than they were.

3½ guys named Public Domain out of 5

STAR WARS - EPISODE VII - THE FORCE AWAKENS [2015]

After retooling the premise of the Star Trek series, sci-fi nerds were very cautious approaching director J.J. Abrams' much-hyped continuation of the Star Wars saga, coming 38 years after the original film.
Fortunately Abrams & co. deliver the popcorn space opera awesomeness for Episode VII: The Force Awakens.
Set thirty years after Return of the Jedi, with the Empire defeated, a powerful new threat rises, known as the First Order and clashes with the Resistance, comprised of faces both familiar and new.
This gorgeous looking thrill-ride captures all the excitement of Lucas' films while capturing Abrams' edgier flavor but never sacrificing any of the fun (or going overboard with his trademark lens flare).  The casting is wonderful and even though I'm familiar with nearly all the names, it's the one who I didn't know that stood out the most: Daisy Ridley as the ass-kicking scavenger Rey.  It mirrors the events of the original film, giving it a history repeats itself feel but as it comes to a conclusion we're promised a brand new direction that's sure to surprise with flying colors.
"Chewie, we're home" indeed.

4 big hairy things out of 5

EYES WIDE SHUT [1999]

After 12 years of absence, director Stanley Kubrick returned to make his final motion picture before his death. Eyes Wide Shut, a difficult piece to tag an exact genre to, so we'll just call it an erotic Kubrick Christmas film.
On the outside it's simply about an unlikable high-class doctor, who embarks on a frightening mysterious journey of sexuality after his equally unpleasant wife tells of a time she nearly cheated on him.  However, it's has a far more complex psychological effect on the viewer, with it's ominous twists and turns that open the further the "good" doctor goes down the rabbit hole.  Kubrick's attention to detail, symbolism and lighting is as intricate as always, so there's always something new to discover with each viewing.  Like a feverish nightmare, Eyes haunts me as much as it did the year it was released, in fact more so with a slightly more mature love for storytelling and film-making.
It might not be the ideal swan song for Kubrick fans but it's still a dame fine final chapter for a man who never took his craft lightly.

4 magic circles out of 5

She's Gotta Have It (1986)

Spike's début feature would've had more of a social and cultural impact at the time of release than it does now. Female promiscuity is still a topical issue for a lot of folks, but there's not enough personality in the characters to keep anyone not fixated with the topic hooked. Much of the acting is unconvincing and passionless; Spike's own character is the only one with any memorable spark of life. As such, it'll be of interest today mostly to students of his work or anyone wishing to see films that break the accepted rules of the format.

2 spokes of the wheel out of 5

BROOKLYN [2015]

Director John Crowley's adaptation of Colm Tóibín's novel, Brooklyn, is the type of lush, romantic period drama that proves just because it's all of the above doesn't mean it has to be melodramatic schmaltz.
It's the story about a young Irish woman who immigrates to the United States in the early '50's to find herself torn between what country and life she wishes to live with.
Once again lead actress Saoirse Ronan delivers a mesmerizing sophisticated performance that never tries to outperform her other equally talented cast-mates, including the amazing Jim Broadbent and Julie Walters.  Broken up into three distinct parts, the story brilliantly alters it's color palette and style of photography with such subtlety only your emotions will pick up on it.  It's a much-needed quiet little film that sits in the corner waiting for you to discover it for yourself.  The type of good old fashioned storytelling that remains timeless.

4½ barf buckets out of 5

Midnight Movie (1994)

A filmmaker and his young trophy wife move into a house that neither has been before, but for one of them it feels oddly familiar.
It's a Dennis Potter screenplay adapted from a Rosalind Ashe novel, directed by Renny Rye. I don't know if the novel was changed much (and if so, was it done respectfully?), but the result is very much like something born of Potter's own fixations, though one that'll likely only appeal to existing fans.
Louise Germaine, who played Sylvia in Lipstick on Your Collar (1993), is again an 'object' of desire for more than one pair of lecherous eyes. The themes of fiction and reality overlapping recur. For a TV movie, it's unusually shocking.

3 reflecting surfaces out of 5

The Babylon 5 Collection

It had more than its fair share of production problems over the five years it ran for, and there's some real tripe in Seasons One and Five, but if you stick with it for long enough then you'll feel the love that series creator and producer J. Michael Straczynski put into the Babylon 5 TV Series. When something that priceless is present, even failings can be accepted.
Unlike most long-running shows, the creator(s) didn't set the train in motion and then disappear, leaving it in 'capable hands'. JMS stayed for the duration, writing 92 of the 110 episodes that make up one amazing journey.

TV Series on Nut Box:
01. S1: Signs and Portents (1994)
02. S2: The Coming of Shadows (1995)
03. S3: Point of No Return (1996)
04. S4: No Surrender, No Retreat (1997)
05. S5: The Wheel of Fire (1998)
06. Crusade (1999)

TV Movies on In a Nutshell:
01. The Gathering (1993)
02. In the Beginning (1998)
03. Thirdspace (1998)
04. The River of Souls (1998)
05. A Call to Arms (1999)
06. The Legend of the Rangers: To Live and Die in Starlight (2002)
07. The Lost Tales (2007)

Books on Nut Ink:
01. To Dream in the City of Sorrows (1997)

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS [1964]

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is notorious for being one of the worst films ever made.

I thought it might be so bad it's funny.
It's not.  It's just really, really bad.
So bad I suspect I'll be getting coal in my stocking just for causing harm to myself by watching this piece of shit.

½ a brain cell left out of 5

SICARIO [2015]

It's funny to think that a film as brutally violent as Sicario is, it's still Canadian director Denis Villeneuve's most widely accessible and lightest to date.
Emily Blunt does a tremendous job as a rule-abiding FBI agent who is enlisted by a shady American government task force to help take down a vicious leader of a Mexican drug cartel.
The plot is quite simple but it's the characters that complicate it with white-knuckle tension and unsettling unpredictability with each new riveting reveal.
It's visually stunning with a grisly realism and nerve-wracking intimacy that is beautifully merged with a ominous and pulse-pounding score from Jóhann Jóhannsson.  I enjoyed it quite a bit while watching it but it kept coming back and haunting me for days afterwards, only heightening the anticipation of viewing it again.

4½ hitmen out of 5

Milky Way Liberation Front (2007)

A struggling filmmaker desperately wants his newest screenplay to become his début feature film, but he just can't get it together. His girlfriend dumps him and a string of failures follow, some of which are weird to begin with and get increasingly weirder as the poor guy struggles to find his voice.
It's an unusual South Korean film from director Yoon Seong-Ho with enough relatable moments within the odd turns to keep it interesting to people who are familiar with indies and enjoy a story that occasionally bends the rules.

3 non-conversations out of 5

The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (1964)

Hammer's second Mummy feature has a dramatic title, but the actual film is pretty standard stuff for the most part: a tomb is raided and soon afterwards the people associated die off in mysterious circumstances.
Interestingly, it's not a sequel to the previous film. Instead, it moves from Egypt in the year 1900 to London with an entirely new wronged party being resurrected, a one-time Prince of Egypt.
Having none of the studio's regular stars on-board shouldn't really be a handicap, but it kind of is. The stand out scenes are the bandaged menace's first appearance and the long, rolling tour of the tomb interiors.

2 special interests out of 5

THE PEANUTS MOVIE [2015]

35 years after their last original film, Charles M. Schutlz's beloved Charlie Brown comic strip characters are all back in The Peanuts Movie.
The Little Red-Haired Girl has just moved into town and Chuck is very smitten, however his constant blunders and insecurities holds him back from doing anything about it.
With the comic strip being around for 65 years, director Steve Martino and Shultz's son & grandson have a long history of great material to pull from and they manage to comfortably fit in all of the Peanuts' most memorable scenarios.  Bringing the gang into the world of CGI animation had me worried at first but the animators did a wonderful job at giving it refined detail where needed (even if Charlie Brown's single hair looks like a giant pube) and simplicity where it demanded it.  In a time of rapid fire gags and constant attacks of loud noises in animation, Peanuts might be too innocently slow for the kids and a bit too simple for adults but it will most certainly find a spot in the hearts of long-time fans wanting to return to some old friends who never got old.

3 funny looking kids with big noses out of 5

SINT [2010]

Dutch director Dick Maas brings the bloody Christmas cheer with mixed results in his comedic horror film Sint.
It's December 5th in the Netherlands, so that means Sinterklaas & his pack of Black Petes are coming to town, only this year they're in the form of angry dead folk with a tendency to sever and impale children's heads.
Maas seems to channel his love for Halloween and The Fog but does so with only half the talent of John Carpenter.  There's some wonderful funny moments (and a few effectively creepy ones) but they're packed in such a poorly timed mess it's incredibly jarring on the pacing.  There's a lot wrong with it but there's also some excellent sequences that make it worth the 80 minutes it takes out of your time.

3 rooftop chases out of 5

Electric Shadows (2005)

A low-paid worker with a deep love of movies finds himself in a peculiar situation after an accident on his bike.
What follows is a journey for both him and us, while simultaneously being a love letter to its own method of presentation - to film in all its glory. The tale of discovery tells of how important a part of someone's life the magic of cinema can be, and how the love it inspires can be put to use.
As events moved gently into the third act it seemed like Electric Shadows was building towards an enchanting ending, the kind that resonates regardless of whether it's predominantly happy or sad. Happily, it delivered.

4 reel changes out of 5

THE OVERNIGHT [2015]

Quite often you don't discover a lot about your significant other until spending time with another couple, which inevitably leads to an frustratingly awkward game of rights & wrongs.
Director Patrick Brice's raunchy dialogue heavy character comedy The Overnight runs with that concept and results in some hilarious and bizarre moments of enticing discomfort.
It's a concept that could have easily been blown by a more mainstream endeavor but here it isn't afraid to explore all sorts of themes of trust, insecurities, pride, envy and sexuality with a wonderfully twisted honesty that is neither too cynical nor candy coated.  It never beats around the bush and deals with the characters and all their ideals head-on making for some brilliantly executed comedy.

3½ circles out of 5

Red Hook Summer (2012)

A thirteen-year-old city boy from Atlanta begrudgingly spends an entire summer in Brooklyn with his bible-thumping grandfather, Da Good Bishop Enoch Rouse. The kid wanted TV and an easy time, but finds clockers on benches and mandatory church attendance.
I'm pleased to see Spike's Chronicles of Brooklyn series of films continued, but RHS is a rather weak entry. Showing a different side of life in the projects was a good idea, and it has a number of powerful scenes that are well-captured, but the last third, the part of the film in which everything should be comfortably coming together, is extremely underdeveloped. To be blunt, it's like a first draft that still had wet ink. It's still worth at least one viewing, mostly for Clarke Peters' extremely convincing preacher routine.

2½ deep roots out of 5

Russian Doll (2001)

A relationship comedy about an average Joe named Harvey (Hugo Weaving) who spends most of his working day as a Private Detective watching other people be unfaithful to their partner. He never expected to have to deal with such things when he gets home from work. There’s also the small matter of a Russian bride (Natalia Novikova) who needs to get married asap.
The dejected male and bubbly female contrast never step beyond their obvious lines, but they’re well-played for what they are and the script delivers a few legitimate chuckles from time to time.

2½ coffee decisions out of 5

RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE [2010]

Jolly ol' St. Nick has been portrayed many a time in the cinema world in rather frightening forms before but nothing's made me quite as uncomfortable as the Santa Claus featured in director Jalmari Hellander's Finnish fantasy/horror film, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale.
A small town of reindeer herders are picked off one by one, after an excavation on the nearby Korvatunturi mountains unearths what appears to be the real Santa, who bears no resemblance to the friendlier "Coca-Cola Claus".
With it's snow, dreariness, all male cast and horrific tension, it's essentially The Thing only with plenty of humor, gingerbread and flesh-eating elves.  In short, it's a really really weird movie but it's not quite scary or gory enough to make it truly outrageous as it seems to want to be but instead it focuses on tension, weirdness and what-the-fuckery.

3 naughty boys out of 5

Rurouni Kenshin: The Legend Ends (2014)

After resolving the cliff-hanger of RK: Kyoto Inferno (2014), the final part of the trilogy slows the pace for a while. It steps back from the aggression, giving Kenshin the distance that's necessary to best evaluate his next move.
Ōtomo's direction is once again excellent, whether it be capturing the tranquillity of a forest retreat or the fierceness of a final battle that kicked serious levels of ass he had an eye for what mattered. The choreographers also earn themselves copious amounts of praise and admiration.
It's mostly about Kenshin and his accountability, but the story breaks from that occasionally, enabling the secondary characters to prove their mettle.
The music was a blend of traditional sitting comfortably alongside modern.

4 sharp cornering skills of 5

Crooklyn (1994)

An emotionally powerful and very funny drama about a family of seven (mom, dad, five kids) living in Brooklyn during the 1970s. The primary perspective is that of nine-year-old Troy (Zelda Harris). Like most siblings, she fights with her brothers and tries to understand the concerns of her parents. Her presence in scenes that would be commonplace in many street dramas adds weight and an unspoken commentary to the already layered and textured narrative.
Spike’s trademark camera-glides on the street are present and as fantastic as always. The acting, timing, editing and music are all superb, except for one lengthy section that takes place outside of Brooklyn. It’s like it is for a reason, but it weakens the film when in theory it should strengthen it.
It’s a collection of little moments that together make a whole, in the same way that many little choices add up to life-changing events.

4 home lights out of 5

Horror Express (1972)

Christopher Lee plays an anthropologist who discovers a frozen corpse that he dates as being two million years old. He pops it into a box and has it placed aboard a Trans-Siberian Express. As luck would have it, Peter Cushing is on the same train. Yay. But bad luck wants a piece of the action, too, and after a mysterious death happens the contents of Lee's find come under suspicion.
A thundering locomotive is an unusual setting for a 70s horror, and there's enough variety in the character types onboard to keep it interesting. The second half is where it gets really fascinating.
On the downside, it feels much too thrown together at times, often ruining the atmosphere that was present. A better edit would've helped the scoring.

3 all-white eyes out of 5

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN: ENDO OBU ZA WARUDO [2015]

aka

Attack on Titan 2: End of the World

Well, at least it was a bit better than the first one...?

Director Shinji Higuchi returns with the second half of his adaptation of the Attack on Titan manga series.
It's a little more focused and features a few brief moments of inspired conflict but it's still obnoxiously loud and annoyingly over-acted to let anyone who has a higher IQ than a month old cat turd enjoy this drivel.
It's just dumb and not a whole lot more.

1½ bombs out of 5

INTO THE GRIZZLY MAZE [2015]

I feel sorry for anyone that thought director David Hackl's action/thriller, Into The Grizzly Maze, might actually be a good film.

After numerous warnings of a vicious bear, a group of silly people go hiking through the Alaskan woods to find a missing friend...bloody carnage ensues.
Originally the film was rated PG-13, and in a rare move these days, several re-shoots were done to give it a heavy R-rating, probably to ensure a gore-searching audience because otherwise no one would have seen this travesty.  Fortunately the film does deliver on some vicious kill scenes and squirm-inducing close-ups on gushing wounds, as well as some particularly undeserving good performances with some unintentionally laughable lines about "clever bears" and  "bears getting lost in the woods".
I went in expecting something really horrible and was actually kind of entertained in a mind-numbing C-movie way that still made for a somewhat grizzly experience.

2 smart horses out of 5

KRAMPUS [2015]

All the most delightful Christmas films combine cynicism with sentimental values, like Gremlins, Bad Santa, Edward Scissorhands and now director Michael Dougherty's hilariously twisted ho-ho-horror film Krampus.
Young Max & his family have been naughty and it's up to Krampus, a German folk-lore demon who polarizes Jolly ol' Saint Nick, to teach them a bloody, bloody lesson.
Dougherty feeds us the usual grumpy family stereotypes, then flips them on their head while adding a disturbing unpredictability to the gutted victim's list.  There's some phenomenally executed practical FX that makes it an absolute joy for anyone that loves their jack-in-the-box toys with a little extra bite.  It's not particularly scary but it packs enough imagination, off-the-wall sick humor and anti-holiday cheer to make it an annual must while roasting Uncle Chester's nuts over an open fire.

3½ creatures stirring out of 5

From Vegas to Macau II (2015)

aka The Man from Macau II

What it states in the synopsis printed on the back cover of the box does actually happen, but there's so much bullshit between those times that picking out what's important is a struggle not worth the effort required.

0½ a prayer out of 5

Paperback Hero (1999)

Hugh Jackman plays an Aussie truck driver who writes trashy romance novels while on the road, but he keeps it a guilty secret so that his manly beer-drinking friends don’t ridicule him in that unique, cutting Down Under way.
It’s a comedy/drama that’s part road trip but mostly inoffensive Sunday afternoon viewing that’ll warm a little corner of your insides.
The landscapes are beautiful and the characters written as straightforward, likeable types. Claudia Karvan lends female support and provides an occasional kick up the manly ass as Hugh’s best friend Ruby.

3 cosy feelings out of 5

Clockers (1995)

A story of crime, drugs and brotherly love in a Brooklyn housing project, a place where doing the right thing isn't always an option.
Spike (Mekhi Phifer) is a youth whose life could still go either way. On one side he has Keith David as a tough cop willing to fight to keep him on the straight and narrow. On the other is Delroy Lindo's criminal influence, which comes with the lure of money. Complicating matters further is Harvey Keitel and his violent buddies in the homicide division investigating a murder that Spike may know something about. The 'brotherly love' side of things comes from Isaiah Washington, who gets less time on-screen than the others but leaves an equally powerful dent in the viewer's sympathies.

4 stains on the sidewalk out of 5

#HORROR [2015]

Conceptual artist & bit-part actress Tara Subkoff makes her directorial debut with the heavily stylized satirical slasher flick, #HORROR.
A group of over-privileged 12-year old mean girls get together for a sleepover that turns deadly when a seemingly harmless game of cyberbullying gets out of hand.
It's gorgeous looking film that unfortunately doesn't seem to gel together with it's narrative or pacing and instead comes off as messy and amateur.  Every single character is so obnoxious and cold it's hard to attach yourself to the film when all it's aesthetics are already testing your patience.  I don't know who this film is trying to talk to, when it's feels like The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants are getting their throats slashed, resulting in the alienation of both the older and younger crowd.    It's an interesting test and I like what it was trying to say but it seems like it's trying way too hard to be something it's not.

1½ pulsating egg faces out of 5

BEING CANADIAN [2015]

TV writer Robert Cohen travels across his homeland in order to find out what it actually means to be a Canadian, which up until now seemed to be a pretty much a mish-mash of everything and nothing, in this humorous documentary, Being Canadian.

Starting his journey from the East coast and ending up on the West coast, Cohen interviews a gaggle of Canadian celebrities (and curiously, Ben Stiller) to see what their thought on the matter is.  As it turns out, all our exports are funnier than hell and don't really have a straight answer either.  Besides being the politest folks who drop f-bombs left, right & center, drink beer by the gallons and are fully aware they're an odd hybrid of Pip-pips & Americans, nothing is really answered here.  Instead it's merely a light, funny good time that is serves a crash course in Canadian history, geography and bad '80's TV I'd rather forget ever existed.

3 beachcombers out of 5

THE MARTIAN [2015]

After a string of badly received films, director Ridley Scott returns to form with his adaptation of Andy Weir's online serial novel, The Martian.
Like his most recent film before this, Matt Damon plays an astronaut, thought to be dead, who is left alone in space and must use his few supplies to find a way to contact Earth in order to get back home.  Aiming to be as scientifically realistic as possible the film is a fascinating watch, as Damon's character figures out to use his scarce resources as a means to survive.  Fortunately Damon is America's good ol' boy, who you could take out for drinks with the boys or home to have a slice of apple pie with Grandma, so it makes a lot of the solo screentime all the more likable.  I was delightfully surprised to see how funny the film turned out to be, considering how overly serious Scott has been in the past decade or so.  Unfortunately all the characters who aren't Damon are about as interesting as lint-balls and take up more time than I would have liked.  It's not a perfect film, like it's being made out to be, but it's pretty darned entertaining.

3½ horrible music selections to be stranded with out of 5

MISTRESS AMERICA [2015]

Director Noah Baumbach continues his humorous exploration of the pros & cons of age differences in the irresistibly enduring character piece Mistress America.
Two young women, one 30 the other 20, who are about to become step-sisters, meet up for the first time in Times Square and find they have as much in common as they don't.
Being co-written by Greta Gerwig makes sure Baumbach doesn't get as cynical as he usually is and makes for a more well-rounded realism that is both funny, smart, observant and confident in it's vulnerabilities.  It manages to keep a smirk on your face for the the first two acts but once it hits the third act it becomes a riot, almost like a rapid-fire stageplay of Fawlty Towers proportions.
The characters all have their flaws, as does the film but that's one of it's strongest points is amidst all it's problems, issues and annoyances, a friend is something you can't help but cherish.

4 stolen cats out of 5

100 Rifles (1969)

A kind of hybrid of war film and western set in Mexico with an unusual level of diversity in its characters, including Yaqui Indians, a ‘half-breed’, a black lawman, and German and Mexican soldiers. The rifles of the title are to be used in an uprising, but keeping a hold of them isn’t easy.
A more engaging use of the component parts would've surely helped the film register as a larger blip on a western/war fan’s radar, but as it stands it’s mostly just average, peaking occasionally above the line.

2½ general incidents out of 5

Tactical Unit: No Way Out (2009)

The second of five TV Movies set after Johnnie To's PTU (2003). Much of the focus is on a man named Fai (Derek Tsang), a small-time pedlar of illegally imported cigarettes. The PTU abuse him until he has no choice but to work for them, which puts him in the line of fire of the Triad gangs.
Fai and his friend (Wu Li) are the heart of the story. The careful sensitivity by which their relationship is shown is the most crucially affecting aspect. The performances of both Tsang and Li under pressure are genuinely amazing.
Be warned, there are some immensely harrowing scenes in the second half.

4 illuminated steps out of 5

THE LAZARUS EFFECT [2015]

Director David Gelb's horror film The Lazarus Effect sat on the shelf for two years and from what I can tell, most of the good parts rotted away in storage.
The ridiculously short running time of 86 minutes gave me enough time to get fully absorbed into the story about resurrecting the dead in a university science lab.  It completely creeped me out with it's isolated Alien like lit atmosphere and beautifully set nightmare sequences but then the story fell to complete shit.  In the blink of an eye, it tossed out all the interesting questions it asks the viewer and forgets it's wonderful atmospherics for an over abundance of disappointing done-to-death horror movie kills and scares.  A talented cast, great set-up and creepy ethics all go to waste to what I can only assume were rushed re-shoots by a studio that got cold feet.

2½ bags of potato chips from Dean Pelton out of 5

THE GREEN INFERNO [2013]

After sitting on the shelf for two years, Eli Roth's cannibalistic horror film The Green Inferno finally sees the light of day, much to the dismay of the easily offended and/or folks who only like high quality film-making.
A pack of overly privileged university students attempt to save a section of the Amazon rain forest only to find themselves on the dinner menu of a tribe of colorful cannibals.  It's a thinly veiled tribute to Cannibal Holocaust with a weakly taught lesson tossed into to make up for how distasteful the whole thing is.  Sure it's disgusting and there's some squirm-worthy moments but I saw nothing I haven't seen on TV's The Walking Dead (Greg Nicotero's bloody FX work is showcased here too) and makes me wonder what all the fuss is about.  Maybe I'm a little desensitized to the whole cannibalism thing after Bryan Fuller's take on Hannibal but this empty vessel really didn't do a whole lot for this gorehound looking to be truly shocked and disturbed.

2½ bad times for the trots out of 5

DREW: THE MAN BEHIND THE POSTER [2013]

Even if you don't know the man's name, you most definitely know Drew Struzan's work.
Drew: The Man Behind The Poster documents the movie poster artist's career from his struggling start right up to his frustrating retirement.
Erik Sharkey's film doesn't do a whole lot to explore the artist's technique, where his passion comes from or much else outside of the timeline of his career so don't expect much else than many big names gushing over the beauty of Struzan's iconic work.  As a longtime fan of the man's work it's always nice to hear others speak highly of him as well but I would have liked to no a little bit more his troubled past.  It scratches the surface of a few low points in Struzan's life but never lingers long enough to give you a better idea of where he's coming from.
A really nice portrait of the man that might be just a little too nice at times.

3 welcomes to one's nightmare out of 5

From Vegas to Macau (2014)

aka The Man From Macau

Wong continues the God of Gamblers series with Chow back in a title role, but this time he's a card player named Ken, not the Ko Chun character from before.
The elements of a decent but familiar HK story are all there, millionaire bad guy, money laundering, undercover police, etc, but they're thrown together with little or no care. Even the action scenes, most of which could've been amazing, are wasted by being shot in an appalling handheld style.
I'm used to Wong ripping off both himself and others, but the first Tomb Raider movie? Really? That's the best he could find to emulate?

1 magic hand out of 5

L.A. SLASHER [2015]

Director Martin Owen's L.A. Slasher is a long out-dated, dim-wit attempt at an edgy satirical bite at everything that's wrong with modern pop culture.
A masked serial killer is driven by the trash that is today's entertainment business which includes reality TV "stars", socialite's famous for being famous, auto-tune drenched pop acts, social media celebrities who live by the Law of the Selfie, etc. etc.
With a tightly sculpted script with razor-sharp dialogue this might have worked (15 years ago) but sadly it has none of that and comes off as just as hollow as the crap it's trying to dissect.  Maybe that's the point?  Another example of what I like to call 'Natural Born Killers syndrome'.
Had this been funny, scary or gory it might attract a cult-like audience but there's none of that either and instead it just sits and makes me wonder who this was made for.

½ a teen mom starlet out of 5

THE STANFORD PRISON EXPERIMENT [2015]

Based on real events, director Kyle Alvarez's The Stanford Prison Experiment, recollects a disturbing university behavioral experiment set in the '70's by psychology professor Philip Lombardo.
A mock prison is set-up where 24 students are randomly selected to play prisoners & guards as a psychological study of imprisonment, however it begins taking a life of it's own and the abusive tactics become very questionable as the subjects being losing a grip on reality.
The subject matter fires all sorts of questions of ethics and reasoning at the audience which will probably result in a wide variety of reactions to the film.  No matter how you feel about it, one can't deny Alvarez's wondefully effective use of the camera, colors and ever-building tension to keep the uneasiness constantly in the foreground.   Without a single weak link in the ensemble cast, everything is craftily glued together in such a way that it all holds together tight enough when it easily could have been a silly and/or boring disaster.

3½ sausages out of 5

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 [2015]

Director Genndy Tartakovsky returns to direct the poorly rushed and inevitable sequel to the 2012 hit Hotel Transylvania.
This time around, Drac is afraid his grandson might not be the monster he wants him to be and crazy animated hijinks ensue as he and his creepy crawly buddies try to remedy this.
With it's lack of wit and focus on more silly childish gags, it seems the film isn't even trying to equal it's predecessor and is comfortable focusing only on keeping the attention of the younger crowd.  There's a few clever gags but it's mostly just fast-paced zaniness leading nowhere resulting in even lesser of a bite than the first film barely mustered up.

2½  road trips out of 5

I AM BIG BIRD: THE CAROLL SPINNEY STORY [2014]

I Am Big Bird tells the loving life-story of a man whose work people of all ages have enjoyed over the past six decades but few know his name or would even recognize him on the street.
Caroll Spinney, the man who gave life to Sesame Street's Big Bird & Oscar the Grouch, as shown in this film, was quite clearly the most thoughtful and sensitive of the original core group of Muppeteers.  Through animations, archived footage and multiple interviews with Spinney and the many people that surrounded him, we're given a surprisingly deeply heartfelt look into the man's life.  With documentaries I come to expect that they almost always have a huge effect on me but this one took me for an emotional spin and more.  Like many others, The Muppets have had a profound effect on their lives, so hearing about Big Bird contemplating suicide was worse than discovering Santa wasn't real.  What's probably most endearing about the man and the film about him is it's will to smile and continue to do so as long as it generates the same reaction from it's audience.

4 tearful reunions out of 5

Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno (2014)

Kenshin vowed never to draw his sword again, but when you stop one evil there's always another waiting to take its place. Furthermore, not everyone is happy with the new Meiji era government; a skilled swordsman is needed.
The first few minutes had me worried that the balancing of anime-style action and Jidaigeki realism was tipping in favour of the ridiculous, but what followed laid that idea to rest. The story is one of atonement, beautifully paced and emphasised with subtext and principles, set within an intricate framework that's tonally much darker than the previous film (2012).
A lot happens in the second half and not everyone is able to have the desired amount of screen time, but what we do get more than makes up for it.

4½ truths earned out of 5

THE LAST WITCH HUNTER [2015]

Director Breck Eisner and the guys who wrote Priest & Dracula Untold (feck, I should've seen those warning signs glaring in my face) grace us with the silliness that is The Last Witch Hunter.
Vin Diesel is an immortal medieval witch-hunter in modern day New York who's out to...well...hunt witches.  It's the type of film that brings all sorts of potentially great conflicts to the table but doesn't seem to recognize them resulting in immense frustration for anyone with half a brain.  It's even more frustrating when they do recognize the conflicts but do nothing to flesh them out making the danger as suspenseful as American Pie.  It's fun to see Vin Diesel wield a sword but beyond that there's absolutely no feeling of magic in this film about magic.

1 cat call out of 5

Tactical Unit: The Code (2008)

The first of five TV Movies set after Johnnie To's PTU (2003). You don't need to have seen the original film in order to follow the story of each one.
Three members of the PTU are captured on CCTV while beating up a civilian (i.e. crook), but the picture is grainy and their faces aren't clear. While an internal division that deals with corrupt cops hunt for the truth, the guilty trio hunt for the one man who can identify them, the man they left bleeding in an alley. It’s a race against time for both parties.
The English subtitles aren't the best, but, really, we’re lucky to have received a western DVD release at all, so I'm not going to bemoan the spelling errors and frequent mixed tenses too much. I've seen a lot worse over the years.

3 wrong steps out of 5

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN [2015]

aka

Attack on Titan: Part 1

Director Shinji Higuchi (probably best known as the FX guy behind the 90's Gamera trilogy) brings Hajime Isayama's manga series, Attack on Titan, to life in the first of two live-action films.
In a post-apocalyptic future, humanity is enclosed within these large walls that keep colossal humanoid monsters from having a feast on the village folk but when the walls come a tumblin' down chaos ensues and nobody seems smart enough to actually know what to do about it.
It's obnoxiously loud, annoyingly over-acted, horribly shot and way too light on character development to make you give a rat's ass about these terrible folks.  These supposedly sympathetic pretty-haired fools are so wrapped up in their own soap opera drama or stupidity they're constantly attracting the equally inane Titans to gobble them up whole and make you wish it'd be over with sooner.

1 tasty church folk out of 5

PTU: Police Tactical Unit (2003)

aka Tactical Unit: Into the Perilous Night

A small team of Hong Kong police search for a comrade’s missing gun over the course of one eventful night. They’re the typical scumbag law enforcers that are common the world over, the kind that it's difficult to justifiably sympathise with, and yet somehow we do, and with each incremental, upwards notch of the danger level we're right there alongside them.
While it didn't have a huge budget, it has enough dramatic style and subtle humour to keep the meticulously paced slow burn engaging until the various threads of the story meet and the film becomes more than the sum of its parts; like the roads of a city, its avenues and pathways are interconnected.
There's music, occasionally, but mostly the sounds of the night time streets are what we hear, another subtle but perfect connection to the environment.

4 identical ringtones out of 5

ROGER WATERS THE WALL [2014]

...we came in?
Roger Waters The Wall concert film really doesn't need an introduction if you're familiar with Pink Floyd, their iconic album, the elaborate touring show production, the misfired cult film or the man behind the greater bulk of the compositions.
The film bounces back between extended sequences of his 2010-13 tour in various parts of the world to personally sublime moments of Waters traveling the European countryside, following in the tracks his father & grandfather made as soldiers during the World Wars.
The live sequences are beautifully shot, showcasing the intimacy of the Waters & the band as well as giving the viewer a good idea of the extravagance of the amazing live theatrics.  The 'intimate' melodramatic scenes in betwee, are clearly staged and all signs point to disaster, but Waters' sincerity allows us to truly believe in the moment.
Isn't this where...

4 more bricks out of 5

THE NEVERENDING STORY [1984]

Director Wolfgang Petersen made his English language debut by bastardizing Michael Ende's fantasy novel The NeverEnding Story.
The tale, set in the modern day, of young Bastian who steals a mysterious book from a off-beat bookstore is still firmly intact, however the rest about the fantasy world of Fantasia (Fantistica for you book readers) is nearly unrecognizable from it's source material.
Here's the thing though: it might be painfully inconsiderate of it's roots but as a standalone film for children, it's filled with wonder and imagination that will hopefully serve as stepping stone towards other fantasy novels.  Like some of the Jim Henson films of it's time, NES isn't afraid to explore some pretty dark themes that might be a bit much for the younger ones.  It also has some sloppy pacing and clunky ideas that have nowhere to go considering it doesn't take the novel's conclusion into consideration.  In the end, it's about embracing your imagination and that's where the movie stands true to it's source material, nostalgia goggles or not.

3 swamps of sadness out of 5