Skincare (2024)

Loosely based on a true story, successful L.A. aesthetician Hope Goldman suspects her rival neighboring business of sabotage. Beginning with her accounts getting hacked and her reputation tarnished, she is continually stalked and harassed, leading to a loss of valuable clientele and a spot on the local news. The police prove to be useless, so at the risk of losing her entire company stake, she endeavors to take matters into her own hands.

I thought this was decent enough for a "true crime" thriller, although it became clear to me who was pulling the strings through simple process of elimination. For the record, Elizabeth Banks's skin looks incredible for 50. I'd buy that for a dollar.

2½ touch-ups out of 5

The Front Room (2024)

Took me some effort to find a poster that wasn't just Brandy's stupid face plastered all over it. A24 did a terrible job of promoting this movie. Had they sold it as a dark comedy, which it is, it might have actually found its audience instead of being buried like some second-rate Blumhouse thriller. 

Belinda is a heavily pregnant woman who mourns the recent loss of her stillborn child. After her husband's father dies, his unhinged stepmom comes to stay with them. She's a belligerent, incontinent, racist, religious nutjob who clashes with the furniture and slowly takes over their lives.

This movie is fun and campy and doesn't take itself seriously. The standout here is Solange (Kathryn Hunter), who is a cross between the old gypsy lady from Drag Me to Hell and Anne Ramsey's character from Throw Momma from the Train. It takes the piss out of everyone and everything. This would have been such a gas to watch with a crowd. The imagery in this movie borders on downright revolting, but somehow I find it so refreshing.

3 M-E-double-S messes out of 5

A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)

Prequel to the popular A Quiet Place franchise. Does what it says on the tin.

One day, without any warning, alien monsters descend from the sky on a mission to wipe out humanity. They are blind, but follow their prey by sound. This film accomplishes pretty much the same task as the original, except it's in an urban setting and not everyone understands what is happening yet. They make easy pickings for the monsters, while one pensive, cancer-stricken woman (and her cat) navigate a path to survival amidst all the chaos and destruction. If you liked the other films, it'll be right up your alley. Not necessarily a bad flick, but prequels often don't add much to the mythology.

2½ pizza places out of 5

Never Let Go (2024)

A woman haunted by demons lives deep in the woods with her two boys. Every day, they forage for food around the property while connected to the house's foundation by ropes and being instructed to "never let go" (hey, that's the title!), otherwise The Evil will get them. While the mother is out of the picture, the boys start to question their surroundings/reality and whether to continue her strange rituals or venture further from safety. Poses some interesting questions about tradition and belief, but the results are mostly predictable. The movie itself takes its sweet time and I was fighting off sleep for the most part, but it takes a much more interesting turn in the second half.

2 frayed ropes out of 5

Arcadian (2024)

In a ravaged post-apocalyptic wasteland (what other kind is there?), a father and his two sons struggle for survival against blind creatures that go bump in the night. One day, one of the boys goes missing, so the father must venture out to save him before dusk falls. Meanwhile, the remaining boy must defend their home from an incoming attack. Feels more than a little inspired by the likes of A Quiet Place and I Am Legend.

Unfortunately, it's dull and dreary and mostly snooze-inducing. Not even the presence of Nicolas Cage could save this one.

2 cave-ins out of 5

Humane (2024)

Caitlin (daughter of David) Cronenberg's directorial debut plays out a little like The Purge meets Sophie's Choice. In the future, due to dwindling resources and overpopulation, the government has implemented a euthanasia program that offers financial perks to the kin of those willing to sacrifice themselves. When a family member volunteers, then changes their mind at the last minute, the collection agency requires a body and forces them to choose a replacement. Under penalty of death, the family turns on one another.

A home invasion thriller where the killer is coming from inside the house. This movie feels like a familiar mish-mash of other genre films, but the darkly comic elements keep it from getting too stale.

3 body bags out of 5

The Watchers (2024)

A woman's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, stranding her deep in a forest with seemingly no escape. She comes across other lone survivors, who hole themselves up in a bunker every night in order to escape the dangers awaiting them at night.

This film was interesting for as long as it remained enshrouded in mystery. Once the cat is out of the bag, I kind of lost the plot. Seemed like it had a lot of potential with its initial premise, but unfortunately it leads in the most commonplace of directions. This is Ishana Night Shyamalan's debut solo feature, after working on her father's horror series Servant (which also let me down).

2 voyeuristic perverts out of 5

Speak No Evil (2024)

U.S. version of the Danish psychological horror film (which itself was almost entirely in English).

This remake turned out to be exactly what I thought it would be. It follows the initial beats of the earlier film closely, but the entire third act has been completely overhauled to make it more palatable for American audiences. The original was much more brutal and uncompromising and stayed with me longer, while this one felt predictable, watered down and ephemeral. Ho-hum.

I'm still very annoyed by the marketing of this movie, which gave away one of the major twists at the end. Maybe they should have taken the advice on the poster and shut the fuck up.

2 stupid rabbit toys out of 5

Speak No Evil (2022)

Vacationing Danish family meets overly friendly Dutch family while traveling abroad. Once they arrive back home, they are invited to their remote residence in the Netherlands where they prove to be uncomfortably passive-aggressive hosts who manage to cross their boundaries in all sorts of creepy ways. Not wanting to offend their delicate sensibilities, and chalking it up to cultural differences, they try to keep their reservations to themselves until it finally becomes too much to bear.

Pitch-black social commentary that will leave you chilled to the bone. A simple, effective horror-thriller.

3 pairs of dull scissors out of 5

Oddity (2024)

I walked into this screening completely blind, which has become my preferred method of watching movies nowadays because trailers spoil everything. I much prefer to "discover" movies on my own, without any pre-existing hype. It's rare that it happens these days, but I really love the feeling of going into a film knowing absolutely nothing about it beforehand; not a synopsis, teaser or nary a screenshot (even the poster above I feel gives too much away).

Out of respect for the reader, I won't spoil this one so you can enjoy it under the exact same circumstance. It's a creepy little movie to watch in a darkened room after midnight. This was definitely a slow-burn, but incredibly effective and well done.

3½ cabinets of curiosities out of 5

Longlegs (2024)

In my opinion, this film was slightly overhyped, but I bought into it hook, line and sinker. Every screening at my theater was packed, so the word of mouth and clever ad campaign (which revealed nothing about the plot) really paid off. I really loved the tone of the film right out the gate; it builds up a nice feeling of dread and suspense, right out of Silence of the Lambs or Se7en. 

FBI agent Lee Harker investigates a series of mysterious deaths in 1990s Oregon, potentially leading to a bigger conspiracy. Again, it benefits from going in with as little information as possible and allowing the experience to wash over you. Not quite as good as it could have been, given all the tools at their disposal, but still very dark and affecting. It gets weird, in a good way.

3½ birthday card clues out of 5

In a Violent Nature (2024)

Taking the premise of Friday the 13th and turning it on its head, what would it be like if a slasher flick was told from Jason's point of view? This experimental horror feature works much better than you would expect. Minimalist and slow-plodding, but you could cut the tension with a knife. The kills are raw and brutal. We only learn the "story" from what we overhear from the clueless teenagers in passing. Staring at the back of his head as he tramples through the underbrush is extremely unnerving, and when we finally catch a glimpse of his face, it's exactly as horrifying as you imagine.

It's a classic cliché horror trope, but told in such a unique and visionary way that it almost feels novel. I can't say enough good things about it.

3½ lockets to die for out of 5

Late Night with the Devil (2024)

Depicting a "live" episode of a struggling late night talk show in 1977, Jack Delroy (David Dastmalchian) hosts his annual Halloween broadcast, featuring a psychic, a skeptic, a parapsychologist and an allegedly possessed little girl.

Not much else to say except I loved this film. It's that type of mockumentary like Ghostwatch, which plays out in real time and feels creepily authentic in its recreation. It lulls you into a false sense of security and then it pulls the rug right out from under you.

This one will stick with you long after the credits roll.

3½ on-air hypnotisms out of 5

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

Close to perfection. This feels like Charlie Kaufman meets "backroom" horror. Two teens in the '90s share a penchant for their favorite Buffy-esque TV series, The Pink Opaque, and form a unique bond. When the series gets inexplicably cancelled, it leaves them in limbo. This film plays with the idea of nostalgia and our sentimental attachment to memory; what we recall vs. what the past was actually like. If you've ever been obsessed with something to the point of losing touch with reality, its themes will resonate with you deeply. Features a closing shot that will haunt this viewer for the rest of his life because it hits so close to home.

On my short list for the best of 2024.

4½ Mr. Melancholys out of 5

Strange Darling (2024)

This was a fucking delight from beginning to end. I hesitate to even say more, because it's the kind of film that benefits from keeping its audience completely in the dark, knowing nothing but the curious title. It unfolds in a non-linear, almost Tarantino-esque fashion. True to its name, it's a weird little indie that will keep you guessing. These are the kinds of experiences that I absolutely cherish in the movie theater because there is no precedent for it.

4 Snuffleupaguses (Snuffleupagi?) out of 5

Cuckoo (2024)

Pouring one out for my homies...

Logline: American teenager relocates to the Bavarian Alps with her family and encounters some kooky goings-ons.

I enjoyed this one mostly because I had no idea what the fuck was going on most of the time. It's rare these days that the trailer doesn't give away all its secrets. I still don't understand a lot of it, but I dug the unsettling atmosphere and disorienting way it all plays out. To say any more would be a disservice to the surprises it contains, and the odd directions it takes.

3½ cuckoo calls out of 5

Trap (2024)

Here is an example of the premise of a movie out-performing the actual execution. Josh Hartnett stars as a father who takes his daughter to a pop concert while the police are surrounding the venue and setting up a "trap" to capture a serial killer. The initial twist of this movie was ruined in all the trailers, but do yourself a favor and go into it as blind as possible. If you're not a fan of M. Night Shyamalan, this probably won't convert you, but it's fun in that batshit "trainwreck" sort of way where you can't look away. The first half of this movie is much more successful than the back half, but it's still clever enough to recommend.

3 VIP backstage passes out of 5

Blink Twice (2024)

Two women are invited by a charming billionaire to his private resort for a holiday in debauchery. Strange, unexplainable occurrences take place around them as one of the women disappears and none of the other tenants can recall her presence. Zoë Kravitz's directorial debut is a slick mystery-thriller with an all-star cast and more than a few tricks up its sleeve. Unfortunately, my screening of the film contained a trigger warning at the very beginning which gave away certain plot details that effectively spoiled the twist and undercut its themes. I cannot for the life of me understand why we have to be so sheltered, even in mass-produced, mainstream Hollywood entertainment, but here we are.

In all honesty, it's not a bad flick, but it loses a ½ rating for the patronizing TW.

2½ red rabbits out of 5

The Crow (2024)

I'll be honest, I haven't seen the original in awhile. It might be sacrilegious, but I didn't really mind this remake all that much. It's completely unnecessary, yes, and doesn't quite follow the comic book source material very closely, but it's entertaining enough when isolated on its own terms. Bill Skarsgård excels at playing these types of offbeat characters, along with his roles in Boy Kills World, It (Pennywise) and the forthcoming Nosferatu reboot.

It may not be a total success, but there is a sweet romantic thread and a decent amount of violence and gory kills, if nothing else. I like Bill's take on Eric Draven, but he's still not as cool as Brandon Lee.

2 uses of Enya's Boadicea out of 5

Twisters (2024)

30 years later, nostalgia is everything, but I definitely wasn't counting on this particular chestnut coming back again. Basically accomplishing the exact same task as its predecessor, two storm chasers are out...y'know...chasing storms and stuff. One happens to be a gritty, determined female and the other a brash, cocky male, so you know how that works out. This ain't rocket science, folks! If you've seen the original, there's nothing new for you here, but it's entertaining enough in that brain-dead popcorn way that audiences seem to eat up.

2½ foreboding cumulus clouds out of 5

Twister (1996)

I wasn't particularly a fan of this disaster flick when it was released 30 years ago, but it's only increased in '90s kitsch value for me. A meteorologist takes her soon-to-be ex-husband out on an inadvertent tornado hunt, as she attempts to deploy a new-fangled device within its vortex to further her scientific research. If you're a fan of seeing wind blowing shit, this'll be right up your alley. It's charming specifically because of the chemistry between Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton (R.I.P.), who bicker and argue all the way up to its very predictable conclusion. Don't think about it too hard and you'll find something to enjoy in it.

3 displaced flying cows out of 5

Dune: Part Two (2024)

Picking up more or less where the first entry left off, we're treated to...more fucking sand. Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya make great decorative scenery against the bleak, unforgiving landscape, but the real highlight of this episode is the epic sandworm taming scene. I honestly found the majority of this film boring, and—surprise, surprise—we're left with yet another cliffhanger at the end of a three-hour snooze fest. Will they even make a Dune Messiah at this point? Who knows...it takes so long for them to come out with these movies, I doubt I'll even care by then. Sorry, it just wasn't for me. 

2½ sandworm goatses out of 5

Dune (2021)

People love these movies, but I can't stand them. I find them pretentious as fuck. Still, the VFX are nice and the direction is accomplished beautifully by Denis Villeneuve. Maybe what annoys me the most is how long they are. Do we really need to devote 2½ hours to approximately one half of a novel? It travels at a leisurely snail's pace, but maybe that's the point. And there's sand, sand everywhere. It's like Tatooine: The Movie. Personally, I thought the 1984 version was superior, because at least it told a "complete" story. I'm being generous here with my rating because I don't want the fanboys to come after me.

3 stillsuits circulating your own urine out of 5

Borderlands (2024)

Soulless cash grab. The cast is stacked, but you can just see how empty everyone looks behind the eyes. They took a beloved video game franchise and watered it down for the kiddies. Almost like Guardians of the Galaxy, if you stripped all the memorable charm, humor and wit out of it. This is an example of how pandering to the general crowd pleases nobody and fails to engage its core audience. Compare that with the audacity of Deadpool & Wolverine, which embraced its vulgar comic book origins with irreverent glee, despite the potential of limiting its bottom line. You can see how well that turned out for both.

I struggle to find anything redeeming to say about it, other than when it finally ended. 

1 complete waste of everyone's time out of 5

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)

Nearly a decade of development hell later, director George Miller returns to the 45-year-old franchise he created in this spin-off/prequel leading up to the events of Mad Max: Fury Road. This time 'round, Anya Taylor-Joy capably takes up the mantle as the titular character (previously portrayed by Charlize Theron) in an origin story that traces her ascent from child slave to burgeoning warrior.

This movie is essentially a shut-your-brain-off, balls-to-the-wall action spectacle. Chris Hemsworth (unrecognizable here) has a blast hamming it up as the villainous Dementus. If you enjoyed the previous entry, you'll find plenty to like here, although at 148 minutes, it will push you to the limits of your patience (and bladder capacity).

3 War-Rig prototypes out of 5

Alien: Romulus (2024)

Set between the events of Alien and Aliens (yet made 40 years after the fact), this loose "inter-quel" shouldn't work as well as it does. But behind the skilled direction of Fede Álvarez (Evil Dead, Don't Breathe), he manages to pull it off with enough finesse to make Ridley Scott proud. It retains that lo-fi look that makes you feel like it was shot back in the '80s (with one glaring exception which I won't spoil). You've got all your classic staples here; androids, cocoons, ovomorphs, face-huggers, chestbursters, full-on xenomorph and...well, I'll let you discover for yourself. 

There are not too many surprises to be found here if you are familiar with the Alien franchise, but it's done so competently, you don't really mind. It's nostalgia bait for sure, but it's a good one.

3 wait...what is that? out of 5

Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)

In 2019, Disney acquired Fox, and with it, their entire catalogue of Marvel/X-Men characters from 1998-2017. This movie is a love letter to that era. Ryan Reynolds somehow convinced Marvel to create a dirty, uber-violent, hard-R rated movie under the Disney banner (the first of its kind), while introducing Deadpool to the MCU. And it's as delightfully irreverent as you can possibly imagine. Part of the enjoyment comes from the knowledge that the Mouse House is letting them get away with this filth at their expense, simultaneously poking fun and biting the hand that feeds them. It finally reunites Reynolds with Hugh Jackman in a plot that doesn't really matter as much as the relationship that is forged between the characters (#FriendshipGoals), as well as enough clever in-jokes and cameos to keep a shit-eating grin on your face throughout. It pays off even more if you've been investing in these movies as long as I have. Bravo to all involved for pulling off this feat. And it paid off in spades at the box office. There's a lesson to be learned here...take chances and throw caution to the wind!

Good lord, it's been far too long since I've seen a movie this gleefully profane. Above all, these movies are just plain fun. Shut off your brain and enjoy the weird places it takes you. It'll be impossible to separate Wolverine and Madonna from here on out.

4½ buttery nuts all up in my mama out of 5

Deadpool 2 (2018)

The Merc with the Mouth returns in this demented step-brother to the X-Men franchise. What happens when someone who can't die loses the will to live? This installment introduces the time-traveling Cable who arrives from the future in order to murder a kid who will eventually grow up to be a villain. Can he be redeemed? Also in tow is the entire X-Force team, including Domino (whose superpower is "luck") and Peter. Yep. Just Peter.

This sequel is not quite as iconic as the original, but still above-average comic book fare that is better than it has any right to be. I like to think of these movies more as parodies of the genre because they're chock full of hilarious sight-gags and subversive meta humor. It also manages to pull off that rare balancing act of being side-splittingly funny while tugging at the heartstrings in unexpected ways. Watch it all the way through for some very satisfying credit scenes that are essential to the plot (and the future of the franchise).

3½ grotesque baby legs out of 5

Note: A (bleeped) PG-13 version of this movie was released called Once Upon a Deadpool, which features a brand new wraparound story with Fred Savage, spoofing his role in The Princess Bride, that's well worth your time. An extended unrated cut was also released, with 15 additional minutes, which is the preferred edition to seek out—although all three versions contain alternate takes/jokes, so you can roll the dice.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024)

The Juice is loose...all over the front of my pants.

36 years later, everyone's favorite trickster demon is back! And this time, he's NOT going Hawaiian (?). One of the most anticipated releases of my inner child, it feels appropriate to nut this one after the franchise had been dormant for so long. The results are mixed, to be sure, but enough of it works if you hold your memories of the original in high regard. If nostalgia is more your speed, this will stoke your childhood delights. Keaton, as in the original, is the highlight and major draw here, but Winona Ryder, Catherine O'Hara, Monica Bellucci and Jenna Ortega all bring something to the table. Beetlejuice remains a lovable miscreant as ever, and best yet, it doesn't tarnish the legacy of the original. One only hopes it won't be so many years before the whole gang gets back together once again.

3½ cakes left out in the rain out of 5

Out of the frying pan, into the fire...

Hey all. Bud here. You may remember me from...well, a long time ago. Can you believe it's been 13 long years since Doc and cuckoo created In a Nutshell? I've always loved this blog and it's held a special place in my nether regions for all this time. I know I've been MIA for a decade or more, but now I'm back to exact my revenge! My reign begins anew! Bwa ha ha ha ha! Err...I'm probably just talking to myself at this point, aren't I?

In honor of the 13th anniversary of In a Nutshell (and 4 years since the last new post), what better way to commemorate this momentous occasion than with a revival series of reviews? I've got a backlog of material in my back pocket, and my nuts have been backed up for quite some time, so I'm ready to explode it up into the rafters and unto the world. Tissues optional.

We'll see how long this goes. Consider it a figurative 'passing of the nuts' from Doc to bud. Maybe one day we can wrangle back the rest of the crew and have a merry old shindig reminiscing over past, better days. For now, sit back and enjoy the ride! Here's to ushering in a new era of Nutty goodness. Long live our hairy, twisted, gnarled, malformed nuts!