Keeper (2025)

A couple spending a romantic weekend at a secluded cabin in the woods find more than they bargained for. Weirdness and creepiness permeates every frame of this film. Does it all pay off in the end? Maybe or maybe not, but it's memorable in that way that good horror tends to stick around in the edges of your subconscious. Tatiana Maslany gives an insanely watchable performance.

3 bites of chocolate cake out of 5

The Monkey (2025)

Everyone remembers the iconic image of the monkey with cymbals on the cover of Stephen King's Skeleton Crew. Or maybe you're more familiar with the poster of George A. Romero's Monkey Shines. Or perhaps you're conflating both of them, as I did, and thought they were the same story. The symbol of the cursed toy monkey that brought about death held a great deal of potential to the imagination of a young child. Regardless of what fear strikes into your heart upon seeing this poster, it's unwarranted. Oz Perkins stripped most of the dread out of King's original short story and replaced it with an over the top horror comedy that for some reason doesn't work as well as it should. Some of the gore and Final Destination-esque mishaps are fun, but it doesn't congeal into anything solid and feels more like a misguided parody of the genre.

2½ freak accidents out of 5

Theatrical Note: A teaser for Perkins' next film, Keeper, is featured at the very end of the credits.

Longlegs (2024)

In my opinion, this film was slightly overhyped, but I bought into it hook, line and sinker. Every screening at my theater was packed, so the word of mouth and clever ad campaign (which revealed nothing about the plot) really paid off. I really loved the tone of the film right out the gate; it builds up a nice feeling of dread and suspense, right out of Silence of the Lambs or Se7en. 

FBI agent Lee Harker investigates a series of mysterious deaths in 1990s Oregon, potentially leading to a bigger conspiracy. Again, it benefits from going in with as little information as possible and allowing the experience to wash over you. Not quite as good as it could have been, given all the tools at their disposal, but still very dark and affecting. It gets weird, in a good way.

3½ birthday card clues out of 5