Before the Flood (2016)

It's been ten years since Al Gore delivered his inconvenient truth, since he used his public profile to educate and inspire us to acknowledge and work toward reversing the climate change that's having a devastating impact upon the conditions for life on Earth. But, alas, the world is still on the road to ruin.
Maybe Leo DiCaprio will have better luck. The actor isn't as well-educated as Gore was on the subject, meaning he's not able to present the hard questions, but he tries and that, as they say, is half the battle, so credit to him.
The documentary is focussed primarily on America, and a little too much on Leo at times, but as before the message is relevant to the world.
Hopefully people won't just watch it and then forget, but will instead become aware of the active role that they can play within the bigger picture.

3 weather patterns out of 5

Darr: A Violent Love Story (1993)

A Yash Chopra film in which Shah Rukh Khan plays a man named Rahul who is crazy in love with the beautiful Kiran (Juhi Chawla), but it's the kind of crazy that gets a guy arrested. When Kiran's actual partner, naval officer Sunil (Sunny Deol), gets involved, Rahul's affections turn ever more sinister.
The characterisation of the lovestruck stalker is interesting, extending even to the peculiar placement of items in his bedroom, but when it comes to developing the other characters the film is occasionally choppy and uneven. Still, there are no duff actors amongst the cast, so even the superfluous scenes have some merit. Regardless of what I think, it's well-loved by many people and is considered a classic in Chopra's filmography.

3½ projections out of 5

It Came from Outer Space (1953)

A perfectly devoted 1950s couple have a romantic moment shattered when something fiery from space lights up their sky and crashes in the desert. After an investigation the hero concludes that it wasn't just a regular meteor.
It's typical of 1950s alien invasion movies in many ways, but in at least one significant way it's atypical. I can't say more than that for fear of spoilers. The dialogue is a step up, too, because it was based on an original screenplay by Ray Bradbury; the main character (Richard Carlson) as written retains recognisable elements of the author's way of seeing the world.
The music is fantastic, frequently dramatic, eerie and spacey all at once.

I suspect some of the perspectives used were to benefit the awful anaglyph 3D version, but thankfully they work just fine in the standard 2D version.

3 borrowed faces out of 5

Barbarella (1968)

Jane Fonda is magnificent as the sexually liberated titular character, based on Jean-Claude Forest's comic book of the same name. Her innocence may be equal parts naïvety, but her sincerity balances it out beautifully. Her introduction is an unforgettable slice of 60s cinema. We're then invited into a fur-lined cockpit wherein she cements her place in counterculture history.
The psychedelic FX are often badly scaled and at times plot is almost non-existent, but the playful self-awareness that both mocks and celebrates its own cheapness seduces the part of me that can fully embrace that sense of fun; somehow it makes it all the more lovable.
It seems inappropriate to judge Barbarella by conventional criteria because it plays by its own rules from beginning to end, but I guess I should try:

4 exaltation transference pellets out of 5

13 (Tzameti) (2005)

While mending the roof of an old house, Sebastian overhears something intriguing from the residents that could lead him to some quick cash. He's not clear on what it entails, but neither are we, so it's a mysterious journey for both the protagonist and the audience. Where it leads is the kind of drama that works best the first time you see it and the less you know about it beforehand, but the beautiful B+W cinematography is such that subsequent viewings will no doubt offer their own rewards. The only telling aspect of the modest budget is during some of the FX shots, but the editing often masks them well.

4 eyes on the bulb out of 5

Kaante (2002)

A set in L.A. Hindi language rip-off of The Usual Suspects (1995), Heat (1995) and Reservoir Dogs (1992), mostly in that order.
Bachchan gets to play the best roles in each case, which is fitting. Also, the only worthwhile subplot outside of the core 'six men' scenario is given to him; it's as brief as the others but has some actual resonance outside of itself.
The addition of a club dancer (Malaika Arora) to the production is superfluous to the stitched together plots. In fact, ninety percent of the US pop video-esque dance scenes could be cut in their entirety and it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference, they're there solely to add sex appeal.
I'm forced to score it well because the truth is it does a good job, all things considered, but there's no overlooking that HUGE plot error.

3 watch parts out of 5

The Visitor (1979)

It started life as a planned rip-off of The Exorcist (1973), but along the way it crashed into a WTF train and derailed everything in its path. The end result is closer to The Omen (1976) with added aliens (maybe?), bald disciples and a single blonde Jesus. It throws you in at the deep end from the very beginning so you don't have to wait to be bewildered. The story is confused, as are some of the cast. Characters disappear for long periods of time or disappear completely for no discernible reason. The camerawork and editing are either intentionally unconventional or the product of a deranged mind. The use and timing of music is reminiscent of Dario Argento, as are some of the spiralling narrative threads. Overall, it's a mostly incoherent mess of a film that somehow managed to hold my attention throughout.

3 angry birds out of 5

Tactical Unit: Comrades in Arms (2009)

The fourth of five TV Movies set after Johnnie To's PTU (2003). It starts out with a superb scene wherein the geography of the city itself sets the tone perfectly for a deeper exploration of the dangerous rivalry that exists between Sam and May and the men under their command.
They're later shipped out of the city, into the mountainous region on the trail of a gang of bank robbers, so even the locale tests them, forcing them to be ever-alert to the other's attempts at one-upmanship.
The individual parts of the story aren't complex, but they're nicely arranged and the way in which they all come together is extremely satisfying to watch. Indeed, it's not until that moment that the real power of the film hits.

3½ church windows out of 5

Romeo is Bleeding (1993)

Gary Oldman plays a police sergeant named Jack Grimaldi who has a sideline in corruption and infidelity. His vices inevitably land him in trouble, but the Noirish setting is only half of the story - it's the performances of the cast that make Romeo as good as it is. It goes without saying that Oldman can be fantastic, but just as good was Lena Olin, an actress who held her own as an over-the-top femme fatale with an edge more deadly and unpredictable than most. Annabella Sciorra got less screen time but was also on top form.
It loses some of its momentum in the last third, but there's more than enough threads and ambiguity left to keep fans of this kind of drama happy.

4 locker envelopes out of 5

Sunshine on Leith (2013)

An adaptation of a stage musical of the same name that, like its origin, uses songs by The Proclaimers as part of the narrative. It's a decent slice of musical drama, and most of the actors appear to be having a good time making it.
The actual songs are great, lively and catchy like many of Charlie and Craig's best works, and the cast perform their own vocals, dubbed in afterwards. That's all well and good, but the production isn't always complementary to the chosen locale. Many people won't mind that, but for me the end result is that, while the performers have the benefit of multiple takes, the ambience of many scenes feels wrong, particularly during the more fragile, heartfelt ones wherein the nakedness of the human voice in a non-studio setting would've been a more powerful and emotionally moving accompaniment.

2½ miles walked out of 5

Kids Return (1996)

Told mostly in flashback, it's the story of two high school friends, Shinji and Masaru (Masanobu Andô and Ken Kaneko, respectively), who occasionally go to school but spend very little time in actual class. The tutors have given up on them, seeing them as either directionless morons or little more than petty thieves in training. In time, the duo would probably agree. But a single event gives them a perspective that eventually leads to insight.
Often in Kitano films the secondary characters are just as interesting as the primaries, but in Kids Return some of the lesser characters actually stole the show, being arguably even more interesting than the two main ones and I'd love to have seen their substories expanded and further explored.
Oddly, even though it's but a tiny portion of the film insofar as running time goes, I was affected more by the scenes set in the present than in flashback.

3 dynamite blows out of 5

The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

Revellers on board the luxury liner Poseidon enjoy their New Year's Eve party oblivious to the giant wave that's thundering toward them... until it hits!
Produced by master of disaster flicks Irwin Allen, Poseidon is a thoroughly enjoyable but admittedly pretty awful journey from the bowels of hell to the light of day for a small and varied collection of individuals who realise that they must band together if they're to have any hope of escape.
With plenty of rationalising and moralising along the way the ensemble cast do their best with the material, and by the end we know exactly why each character was included and what basic emotion they were required to appeal to, a task that most of them do rather well, I'm happy to say. I know that it's basically trash given the big screen treatment, but damn me, I love it.

3½ tables turned (literally) out of 5

Guru (2007)

The story of Gurukant Desai, a villager with an ambitious dream and the voraciousness to actualise it. To achieve his goal of being the richest man in India Gurukant is willing to take whatever steps he deems necessary.
Abhishek received a wealth of praise for his portrayal. I'm going to add to it. I've never seen him better. Aishwarya, prominent on the cover, spends much of her time in the background, supportive in both character and role.
At times it's reminiscent of Welles' Citizen Kane (1941), and like it is based on the life of a real person (in Guru that's Indian tycoon Dhirubhai Ambani).
It's maybe uncommon to wish that a Bollywood film had an even longer running time than they typically have, but in Guru's case I think that it needed one because the years fly by too fast, leaving little time for important changes to be depicted as anything more than visual.

3 bogus truths out of 5

Dark Water (2002)

Often unfairly placed behind Ringu (1998) and Ju-on (2002) in importance, Hideo Nakata's DW is fully deserving of sharing space with either of them. It has chills, atmosphere in abundance, and some fantastic performances from its two female leads. It uses the horror elements in a more subtle manner, supportive of a structure that's more traditional in nature, while upfront is a story about a single mother who's struggling to keep custody of her daughter. She's a good mom at heart, but in order to afford a home for them both she must sometimes leave the child to fend for herself.
The water motif is everywhere, inescapable, a multifunctional device that holds a number of subtexts (eg. it's cleansing, harmful, isolating, etc).

4½ seeping shivers out of 5

Achilles and the Tortoise (2008)

The final film in Kitano’s surrealist autobiographical trilogy is my favourite of the three. It's less surreal than the other two, but does get more and more abstract as time goes on. It's split into three distinct phases of struggling artist Machisu's life. Each time period has its own deft focus, but all have identifiable hallmarks of a Kitano experience, with the third being perhaps the weirdest.
Like Achilles in Zeno's Paradox it seems like Machisu is always playing catch up. But the more advice he takes from experts the worse his work becomes. He just can't win, and his output grows less representative of his true self.
The fictional characters are merciless commentary on both the superficiality of the art world and Kitano's own works (he did all the original paintings).
There's tragedy, but it's wickedly funny, underpinned by a peculiar warmth.

4 accomplished Beats out of 5

Dune Warriors (1991)

In post-apocalyptic New California in the year 2040 AD a stereotypical villain in his de rigueur vehicle wants to rule the wasteland, but he's not in the film long enough to have any real impact. Nevertheless, the Dune Warriors will do their best to stop him and his small band of merry marauders.
David Carradine is the big name, the older, wiser hero, but he phones it in.
It's an odd fish. The film would've worked just as well (or probably even better) as a heroic fantasy flick, the swords are already present. The occasional Western elements and A-Team moments add little to the overall feeling that everything is a poor man's everything else, all of which is at the ass-end of the scale, especially those damn shacks.
Music is by The Score Warriors. I don't know which film they thought they were scoring, but it didn't seem to be this one.

1 hero exit out of 5

20 Million Miles to Earth (1957)

A successful but straightforward blend of 50s sci-fi movie and creature feature that's almost as familiar as it is fun. Film-lovers versed in the language of such things will even be able to predict the timing of zooms and cutaways. What helps distinguish it from a hundred others is that it's set in a small fishing village in Southern Sicily, not in America, and, best of all, the creature FX are amazing! Also to its credit it takes cues from the more sophisticated entries in the genres, which means we're given an opportunity to develop a sympathetic bond with the creature, one that ties in with the obligatory philosophically poignant line of closing dialogue. If the script hadn't been cookie cutter elsewhere the film could've been great for more than just visual reasons.
A colourised version exists if you're allergic to B+W; I've not watched it.

3 frightened sheep out of 5

Zid (2014)

A jilted newspaper crime reporter named Ronnie (Karanvir Sharma) attempts to escape his daily brooding by moving from his home in the city to a rural area. Whilst there his feelings for his ex-lover are eased when he spies and pervs Maya (Mannara), the landlord's daughter, but it's okay because she gets jollies from it, too. Even so, it doesn't prevent him from getting into quite a pickle.
It was the first proper acting gig for both leads; they did okay, all things considered, but the film is clumsy in many other ways as it attempt to explore themes of guilt, obsession and complicity.
One thing that did stand out was the rain scene; far from being the usual carefree, sensual, romantic aside, it's backdrop to a more sinister situation.

2 repurposed bird cages out of 5

Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key (1972)

When a film's title is that amazing it's a pretty safe bet that we're in giallo territory, and, sure enough, we are. But it's not fully in that camp. It's the story of a writer who abuses his wife and desires his niece, but by incorporating elements of Edgar Allan Poe's The Black Cat (1843) it attempts a more layered, sophisticated narrative. Unfortunately, with many subtexts fighting for attention it often feels like the component parts don’t merge together as well as they should've. It's a feeling that's somewhat overturned by the last third, although not completely. In spite of that, the performances from the principals are all great, which is something that gialli can't always claim to have.

3 surprise eyes out of 5

BLOOD FATHER [2016]

Director  Jean-François Richet's violent Mel Gibson thriller, Blood Father, plays like a Liam Neeson thriller, if Neeson weren't afraid to roll around in the dust 'n dirt.
Gibson plays a man, in search of some heavy redemption, who's forced to go back to his dastardly ways when his estranged teenage daughter shows up on his doorstep with some nasty sort of fellas hot on her trail.
Right from the get-go you know where this sort of film is heading but it's the clever little nuances that sets it apart from others of it's kind, like father & daughter just as foul-mouthed and dangerous as the other.  There's some pretty silly eye-rolling moments, plotholes galore and awkward dialogue but that's where Mel Gibson's real life unpredictable ferocity gives it that extra amount of savage B-movie tension.

3 topsy-turvy trailers out of 5

DON'T THINK TWICE [2016]

Comedian Mike Birbiglia writes & directs Don't Think Twice, a surprisingly moving bittersweet coming-of-age drama.
It follows a New York City improv comedy troupe, all closing in to age 40, as they reach the fork in road of make it or break it.
It's a painfully honest portrayal of life outside of comedy and the difficult choices one must make once you've realized you're youthful dreams aren't actually materializing.  It hits some predictable notes but it's the incredibly comfortable cast that keeps the delivery fresh and unexpected.  Everybody involved both in front and behind the camera know their place and it all comes together in a neat little package that is hard not to like.

4 games of Jenga out of 5

Jason and the Argonauts (1963)

I see Clash of the Titans (1981) frequently cited as being Ray Harryhausen's masterpiece. Titans is a good film, for sure, but for me there's no contest, Argonauts tops it. If I was able to plot on a graph how my love for stop-motion was established then the highest peak would represent Argonauts.

Don Chaffey's film has a lasting appeal that's almost on par with the fabulous Greek myths that make up its plot. Some of those myths got rewritten, but it's okay because the highly versatile quest structure remains ageless and easily relatable. We're with Jason every step of the way, no matter how ill-advised or dangerous his reactions seem at the time. (Seriously, Jason, WTF?)
He's allowed free will but is nevertheless a pawn of the gods, aided by Hera (Honor Blackman) and hindered by Zeus (Niall MacGinnis). The power of prophecy to initiate action and of belief to sustain it is ever-present.

5 divine strategies out of 5

El Niño de la Luna (1989)

The story of a twelve-year-old boy named David (Enrique Saldana) and the occult society that appropriates him into their care. David has unusual powers that are used sparingly, not as a quick and lazy plot fix.
It's a slow moving film that casual viewers may struggle with. It'll likely be of most interest to two groups. The first is those who appreciate mysticism and peculiar narratives that don't feel the need to explain their every last detail. The other will be fans of the band Dead Can Dance. DCD provide the score (currently unavailable elsewhere) and band member Lisa Gerrard is one of the primary characters; it's her first acting role and she does great work.
The faults in the story are plain to see, but overall it's an enjoyable journey, and I loved how Dir. Agustí Villaronga chose not to compromise the strangely beautiful aura by hurrying the pace unnecessarily.

4 maternal lights out of 5

A Scene at the Sea (1991)

Garbage collector Shigeru finds a broken surfboard by the side of the road. He takes it home and thereafter a story develops slowly over a short but magical summer in which simplicity is beauty and the mundane is deadpan hilarious.
Both Shigeru (Claude Maki) and his girlfriend Takako (Hiroko Ôshima) are deaf, so there's not a lot of spoken dialogue, but the silence in no way diminishes the relationship or our understanding of it because the 'voice' of the piece is very much Kitano's and he orchestrates it masterfully; the bond between the couple has a rhythm that can be heard over the sound of wind and waves.
It marked the first of many times that the director had composer Joe Hisaishi provide the score. The music and image are so seamlessly matched emotionally that it's as if the pair had been working together for decades.

4 horizon lines out of 5

Barsaat (2005)

aka Barsaat: A Sublime Love Story / A Sublime Love Story: Barsaat

A woeful Bollywood romance that failed to offset its main character's antagonistic traits with enough sympathetic ones, resulting in him not being even marginally interesting. The female lead, the one we're supposed to feel more sorry for, is better represented but still problematic because, even if approached from a different perspective, such as that of a desperate lover, the few things that are relatable are not something to be celebrated. They serve only to diminish the character to the point of ineffectuality.
One good thing that might come from a viewing is recognising that from time to time everyone needs reminding that what they have, if they're lucky enough to have it at all, should never be taken for granted. For many it will be a reminder; for others it may be a first time realisation.

1½ issues resolved out of 5

Without Warning (1980)

A low budget sci-fi/horror that used half of its entire budget to hire Jack Palance and Martin Landau; neither man phoned it in, but both are unlikely to have placed it high up on their CV. It was also Ralph Meeker's last role.
The plot is thin. It's hunting season at the lake, but the wildlife isn't the only thing being taken out - an alien presence is culling the human population.
The actual alien is embarrassing (when it does eventually appear), but his flying, fleshy, yellow pus-filled pancakes are fantastically bad-good.
The best of the rest of the cast is the young woman playing Sandy, namely Tarah Nutter. A quick trip to IMDB proves that it didn't happen, but Tarah probably deserved to have a decent B-Movie career thereafter.

1½ free lumberjack shirts out of 5

The Ninth Configuration (1980)

An abandoned castle is the setting for William Peter Blatty's odd film. Within its walls are a group of Vietnam War-era U.S. soldiers that have been classified as crazy. A new psychiatrist arrives, tasked with finding out if they really are as mad as they appear to be and, if so, to do his best to help them.
The shrink is Stacy Keach and he's amazing in the role, the best I've ever seen him, infinitely more intriguing than many of the colourful patients.
Initially I disliked the film, but the occasional Vonnegut-esque moments kept me seated. Over time I grew more comfortable with the feverish feeling.
A pivotal scene (aprrox 45 mins into the 118 mins vers.) changed everything, thereafter a thematically darker and more theologically complex shadow was cast over all things. I believe a viewer's understanding of the second half will depend greatly on their interpretation of one particular spoken word in said scene, but the differing conclusions that result from it are equally powerful.

3½ second-hand recurrences out of 5

BAD MOMS [2016]

Every now and then Hollywood's dime-a-dozen lazily written raunchy comedies actually manage to belt out a few good laughs.  Jon Lucas & Scott Moore's Bad Moms is one of them...sort of.
It's about three overly stressed-out mothers that decide to brush-off their long list of duties in retaliation against the group of stick-up their asses mothers that rule the PTAs.
There really isn't anything I can say about these type of films that hasn't been said before.  You either take it for the lowbrow flick that it is with it's cheap laughs and calculated heart-warming schmatlz only to brush it off with ease.  Or leave it because clearly there's a list of thousands of better things you could be doing with your life.  I for one enjoyed it for what it was, although I'm obviously not the target audience (even if weird juices are squirting out of my nipples at the moment) but I won't be rushing out to see this ever again.

2½ foreskin hoodies out of 5

GLEN OR GLENDA [1953]

Ed Wood's Glen or Glenda is a highly unusual film that is difficult to stop watching once you start falling down the hallucinatory rabbit hole.
It follows a story about a man who secretly enjoys wearing woman's clothing and another man who undergoes a sex change, all surrounded by a drugged out Bela Lugosi tripping through "narrative" dialogues of mumbo jumbo.
There's an extended dream sequence that gets a little rapey, creepy devils, haunted houses and the obligatory transexual film staple: a buffalo stampede.  It feels like it was intended to be a forward thinking documentary but I guess Wood forgot and headed in fantasy-driven directions that only made sense to him.  The inconsistencies are nothing short of hilarious and make it all the more entertaining for the truckloads of whathtefuckery.

2½ big green dragons that sit on your doorstep out of 5

BATMAN: RETURN OF THE CAPED CRUSADERS [2016]

Adam West & Burt Ward reprise their olde tyme dynamic duo roles for the hilariously disjointed animated Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders.
Taking us back to the '60's, Batsy & The Boy Wonder must travel to outer-space (and back) to thwart the diabolical plans of the fiendish foursome: The Joker, Penguin, The Riddler & Catwoman.
With it's silliness perfectly intact it's really hard to resist it's bad humor, silly one-liners and outrageous situations.  Fully aware of how ludicrous the series was, this new film bathes in it and makes it all the more fun to jump in to the tub with it (cheeky Aunt Harriet jokes included).  There's nothing here that's going to leave a lasting impression (except maybe that creepy granny voice coming out of the "sexy" Catwoman cartoon) but it's a helluva lot better than the lifeless adaptation of The Killing Joke from earlier this year.

3 Bat-Brass-Knuckles out of 5

A BIGGER SPLASH [2015]

The longer I thought about director  Luca Guadagnino's psycho-drama, A Bigger Splash, I realized I admired it more than what I had initially thought.
A famous rock star, recovering from throat surgery, and her moody boyfriend are taking a much-needed island vacation, but is interrupted by her shit-disturbing ex and his nymphy younger daughter.
Led more by a roller coaster of fragile emotions, rather than a conventional plot, the film requires patience from the viewer but pays off with seductive menace and baffling hilarity.  It cleverly juggles fascinating combinations of interaction between each character and none is more uncomfortably alluring than the next.  Painted over beautifully muted photography and strong performances, A Bigger Splash is a twisted little gem that rewards with wandering afterthoughts and baffled giggles aplenty.

3½ hoarse karaoke sessions out of 5

Lost in La Mancha (2002)

Cervantes' Don Quixote seems like it would be a perfect fit to Terry Gilliam's eccentric style. The director spent a decade trying to make it. He almost succeeded. But a collective of unseen forces decided it simply wasn't meant to be, even though a production that had life-size puppets and man-size giants absolutely deserved the audience it was never destined to have.
Providence, however, gave us La Mancha, a visual record by Keith Fulton and Louis Pepe. It captures the tragedy that befell a production that, truth be told, was on shaky ground from Day 01. It shows Gilliam as both a hopeless idealist and a perfect dreamer, two sides of one coin, eliciting feelings of incredulity and sympathy in a viewer that are often inseparable.
There's no reason to suspect that Gilliam's final product would've been any more or less successful and divisive than his previous works had been, but I for one would love to have seen it come to fruition, nonetheless.

3 false starts (and at least one act of god) out of 5

Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971)

A professional rock drummer finds himself in a compromising position after leaving the studio one evening. He's later blackmailed by a mysterious voyeur who wants the musician to know that what he did was not unseen.
In some ways it's a kind of reversal of what the previous two films in the unconnected trilogy did (Bird + Cat), but like its immediate predecessor it has major pacing problems. I was fighting heavy eyelids after just sixty minutes.
The lead actors are mostly apathetic, their friends are perfunctory filler, and the semi-comedic private investigator was like salt in an open wound. The violent giallo kills are the highlight, as usual, but they're few and far between.

2 cushioned silences out of 5

The Cat o' Nine Tails (1971)

Argento's follow-up to The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970) is the second film in what's become known as his Animal Trilogy, even though Nine Tails has no significant animal in it; not even the yellow-eyed cover star. The term refers to the number of possible leads in the investigative part of the story.
There's nothing particularity bad about the film, but nor is there much to get excited about. It's perhaps because the director was still testing the waters, experimenting with levels of violence and plotting. But I suspect it's also in part due to his wishing to appeal to a more international audience.
It might please folks who want a straight thriller with an edge, but anyone wanting a classic Argento experience should look elsewhere.
The music is again by Ennio Morricone; he did all three films in the trilogy.

2 glasses of milk out of 5

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)

The killer in Argento's début applies a similar kind of love and care to the tools of that particular trade as Argento does to his own. And while the result isn't as polished as some of the Italian director's more celebrated later works, his preferred modus operandi is resolutely established; i.e. super-stylish kills with investigative portions of plot advancement in between.
The first violent act occurs in a well-lit gallery, itself framed by the entryway like some kind of grisly artwork. Like the protagonist (Tony Musante), we witness it from afar but close enough to see the knife in action.
The investigation that follows is both a device to get us to the next murder asap and something with real purpose, a means to an end for the witness.
Morricone's score is unusual in places but thoroughly effective, nonetheless.

3 harmonic intensities out of 5

SONG OF THE SOUTH [1946]

 

Disney's live action/animated film Slaves of the Sou...er...Song of the South is inspired by author Joel Chandler Harris' collected Uncle Remus stories.
Set on a plantation in rural Georgia, the framing story revolves around a rich white family who face such white people tragedies as daddy taking a trip, a muddy dress and not getting a puppy.  Each of these problems are solved by the care-free ex-slaves who are perfectly happy to serve no purpose but fix the cracker-asses' tragic dilemmas.
There's some pretty entertaining animated sequences based on the Remus' tales but it's the framing story that pretty much stinks.  Not just because it's offensively racist but it lacks any sort of direction or any realized plotline.  James Baskett does a wonderful job at portraying Uncle Remus with heartfelt depth but he's the only thing worth mentioning beyond the cartoon shorts.

3 tar babies out of 5

DOCTOR STRANGE [2016]

The 60's era Pink Floyd badge that director Scott Derrickson's Doctor Strange wears is swimmingly earned through the mind-bending special effects alone.
The 2nd film in the MCU's Phase 3 (and 14th film all together) follows arrogant neurosurgeon Stephen Strange who discovers an ancient world of mystical arts after a car accident leaves him with irreparable damages to his hands.
Not since Robert Downey Jr's Tony Start has an actor embodied their character with perfection as Benedict Cumberbatch has so gracefully done.  However it's the rest of the actors who are left little to work with behind Strange and the mind-boggling visuals.  The special effects look like Inception, The Matrix & Dark City all dropped acid together and lost all sense of reality, which begs for the IMAX 3D treatment.  Doc Strange isn't the MCU reinvention Marvel seems to think it is but it's still a pretty fun trip to take.

3 interstellar overdrives out of 5

Jazbaa (2015)

After an exploitative post-baby workout vid shows that she's still hot, Aishwarya gets to do some proper acting. A few years off didn't dull her edge. Both she and Irrfan Khan are the main reason the film works at all; without them it would struggle to remain afloat, bogged down as it is with attempts to be logical despite obvious questions being pushed aside or outright ignored.
It's difficult enough to feel sympathy for selfish protagonists, but destroying the all-important court scenes with awful camerawork and swamping the reality of many other scenes by colour enhancing them to within an inch of their life created an additional barrier that could've been avoided.
If you're already a fan of both Aishwarya and Irrfan then you'll likely get your money's worth, like I did; otherwise, deduct half a point from my score.

3 chilling statistics out of 5

The Hand (1981)

An early feature from Oliver Stone, based on author Marc Brandell's novel The Lizard's Tail (1979). I haven't read it. The film stars Michael Caine, struggling with the worst hairstyle of his career. He's a comic book artist married to a crappy, selfish wife (Andrea Marcovicci). The marriage is slowly crumbling.
A freak accident complicates matters further for the artist. It also allows for a psychological edge to creep into the story. It's a good thing, too, because it enables the film to nurture a taut atmosphere, heightened by complementary editing, making it seem like more than just another take on a horror cliché.

3 dangerous reflexes out of 5

OUIJA: ORIGIN OF EVIL [2016]

30 years after Transformers: The Movie, Hasbro finally produces a film that doesn't suck...and it's the prequel to one of the worst movies of 2014.
Director Mike Flanagan's Ouija: Origin of Evil follows a widowed mother & her two daughters who struggle to make ends meet as hosts of phony séances.  It's when the youngest daughter starts getting Aidan Keller creepy that they realize they have actually summoned something with a bit of a grudge.
Like The Conjuring series, Flanagan has a knack for..ahem...conjuring up some pretty creepsome period horror films, dated title cards, reel change signal dots and olde tyme framing & camera trickery.  The build-up is exquisitely timed with some nice jump scares and a surprisingly fleshed-out dramatic pull.  There's absolutely nothing here you haven't seen before but Flanagan does it all with such finesse it really doesn't matter until the watered down finale...but I've almost come to accept there's very few horror films that have a satisfactory conclusion.

3½ vivid descriptions of strangulation out of 5

RED DOG [2011]

Kill Me Three Times director Kriv Stenders brings us Red Dog, a lovable true story about an even more lovable canine.
A legend for his lone travels through Western Australia's Pilbara region in the 70's, Red Dog finds himself adopted by a ragtag group of miner's in a broken down community that needs the love a dog to help bring them together again.
Sappy right?  Well, yeah.  And at times it's pretty far-fetched but it's brought to life with a huge heart that is hard to resist.  It's also pretty funny too but be warned prudish North Americans, it is Trans-Tasman humor which isn't always welcome at the dinner table.  I never forgave Marley & Me for what it inevitably did to my still-broken heart but this one is easier to love because it actually is a good movie unlike the former.

3½ Red Cats out of 5

PEARL HARBOR [2001]

Like Titanic before it, director Michael Bay takes a historical tragedy and turns it into a melodramatic epic romance with his paint-by-numbers World War II drama for dummies, Pearl Harbor.
There's a love triangle filled with plenty of eye-rolling sappiness and somewhere beneath that there's a retelling of the surprise Japanese attack on the Hawaiian U.S. Naval base which ultimately led to the Tokyo Raid.
What we get here is 40 minutes of very horrific warfare and the effective nightmarish aftermath but beyond that is quite frankly embarrassing with nearly 2½ hours of shamefully written upchuck that serves no real purpose to the actual events.  With the exception of the some brilliantly crafted action sequences this film is pretty worthless and an insult to the real events it emulates.

2 hoola shirts out of 5

Death Ship (1980)

A small group of survivors from a sunken cruise ship in the Atlantic think their rich bacon is saved when a ship that's still afloat appears. But the mysterious, rusted, seemingly abandoned vessel is... dun dun duuun... Death Ship!
The out-of-the-frying-pan survivors are a varied bunch, different in age as well as temperament. Perhaps the most notable is George Kennedy, who's his usual dependable self. Kennedy plays a Capt. Moodypants who's approaching retirement but not quite ready to accept what that means for his ego.
My heavy-eyes and insomnia-addled brain didn't cope well with the swaying, seasicky camera movements, but at least there's some justification for them.
At times it's a little like King's Overlook Hotel but on a ship, within which are a few standout scenes that are effectively dramatic.

2½ cold crew out of 5

BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE [2016]

After years of pleas from bothersome fanboys, Alan Moore & Brian Bolland's 1988 graphic novel Batman: The Killing Joke is finally given the animated feature-length treatment.
The Joker does a nasty number on the Gordon family forcing Batsy to hunt him down and inflicting a punishment upon him he sees fit.
I'm probably in the minority here but I never found The Killing Joke book particularly interesting and that follows quite faithfully into the film as well.  Sure there's plenty of disturbingly wicked Joker moments but it's more shock value than anything...especially when you take into consideration the brand new horrid first act tagged on for whatever reason.  It's great to hear Kevin Conroy & Mark Hamill return to their respective roles but even they don't seem all that enthusiastic with what they're given.

2 red hoods out of 5

LITTLE SISTER [2016]

The daddy in director Zach Clark's quirky drama Little Sister isn't really all that big but the film still finds itself going down some dark corridors nonetheless.
A young nun readies to take her final vows but takes a sudden trip back home when her newly disfigured older brother returns from the Iraqi war.
The family is riddled with mild dysfunction, especially Ally Sheedy who seems to be playing it like Allison Reynolds over 20 years later, and she does a wonderful scene-stealing job at it.  By opening the film with a Marilyn Manson quote you know it's not going to be your average dysfunctional family drama and that's fine because there's plenty to laugh at no matter how dark the subject matter might be.  There's a bit much tossed in the background in an attempt to make important statements but thankfully it never gets overly sentimental and that's where it's greatest strength lies.

3 trippy family Hallowen parties out of 5

INSHITE MIRU: 7-KAKAN NO DESU GÊMU [2010]

aka The Incite Mill

Director Hideo Nakata takes a break from creepy long-haired dead Japanese girls with the breezy sci-fi mystery Inshite Miru.

Here we follow ten strangers, trapped in an underground bunker, who all unwillingly partake in a dangerous game of survival for a large sum of money.
It's not particularly original or surprising, in fact it wear it's Agatha Christie influence on it's sleeve, ten little Indians and all.  However it's brisk pacing, atmospheric suspense and wildly entertaining cast make it an easily digestible ride.  Don't expect many twists 'n turns because you'll probably figure it out quicker than you'd like, which is a shame because it takes the fun out of films like these when you're a step or two ahead of them.

3 Guards out of 5

Naina (2005)

An unofficial Hindi language remake of the Pang brothers' renowned Asian horror The Eye (2002). It also poaches ideas from Nakata's Dark Water (2002), Shimizu's Ju-on (2002) and to a lesser extent even Iida's Rasen (1998).
The majority of the story is set in London. I don't understand why. The only benefit derived from the locale was a silver lining scenario: it made the ghosts seem more animated than the boring and lifeless manner in which the city was captured. The scenes set in India prove the point; it's only then that everyone, both in front of the camera and behind it, appear to remember that Hindi cinema has a rich history of stirring emotion that they should at least try and live up to. The India scenes kick the ass of everything that came before.

2½ repeat desires out of 5

White Men Can't Jump (1992)

There are a few 'sports movie' elements in WMCJ, but it's easy to make allowances for them because the real focus is Snipes and Harrelson, both basketball hustlers who team up in order to increase their earnings. There's a genuine respect for the other's talent, beneath which is a strong rivalry. When not on the court, each man also has a demanding woman to contend with.
The dialogue is excellent, as fast paced and direct as an actual basketball play. It slows a little in the last act (when the 'sports movie' parts are used) but by that stage both characters are so well-defined that it's less of a problem than it would've been had it been placed earlier in the journey.
Besides the duo, Rosie Perez is also excellent. I haven't watched many films with Snipes in, but I'm willing to bet that he didn't ever top his work here.

4 momma jokes out of 5

ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE [2015]

It's October 31st, as of this post, so naturally to coincide with consumer whores it's time to start celebrating Christmas tomorrow.  Here at The Nutshell I thought I'd get one day ahead of the whores and wipe my reindeer Nuts all over Todd Nunes' low budget X-mas slasher All Through The House.
Some crazed dude dresses up as Santa, murders people and mutilates their naughty bits with a pair of hedging shears and that's about it.
After a particularly vicious opening scene it all seems to fall into a pit of really really bad, like A Talking Cat?!? bad, only with homicidal Christmas cheer.  It doesn't really offer any real surprises other than a wild card Alice in Wonderland dress tossed in for whatever reason.  No matter how bad it gets there's just something alluringly awful about it that won't allow you to dismiss it as quick as you probably should.

2 wild wheelchair rides out of 5

KILLER LEGENDS [2014]

After stumbling upon Cropsey in his previous film, documentarian Joshua Zeman further explores other frightening urban myths in Killer Legends.
The man with the hook, the baby-sitter slaughterer, the Halloween candy killer and homicidal clowns are all under investigation here.  We get to find out their originations, what inspired them and what was inspired by them, all told with an eerie chill.  So much, that at first it feels like a cheap melodramatic Strange Mysteries reality show until they get into some really unsettling facts that are just plain creepsome.  Quite a bit of it is stuff the season horror buff will already know but it features enough little tidbits of scary info to keep it interesting and entertaining anyway.

3 towns that dreaded sundown out of 5