In a Nutshell. Mini reviews of movies old and new. Minimum words. No fuss. No spoilers. Occasional trout.

Friday, 26 August 2016

FRIDAY THE 13TH [2009]

Shitty remake director Marcus Nispel creates a mish-mash of the first four Friday the 13th films which results in what I suppose is an accurate definition of a shit-mix.
There's these kids, they go to Crystal Lake to do drugs, have sex and get killed by the deranged killer Jason Voorhees.
Nispel washes the over-saturated film with a grungy vibe that is nice to look at first but grows tired very quickly as you realize it doesn't hide the complete lack of creativity or ambition to give the audience anything tasty to chew on.  However for those actively seeking out shallow, unimaginative schlock-fests with some all right kills then this might actually do the trick.
Just be warned, even producer Michael Bay said he walked out of this film.

1 fine time for a fap out of 5

2 comments:

Borderline said...

I actually enjoy this one. Let's be honest, none of the F13th films are particularly great, not even the original. It's a memorable film series, but there isn't one that stands out as good. I felt the dumb teenagers doing stupid things and being massacred embodied the series. Jason does do some things out of character, but I give them points for trying something new. 2 1/2 perfect nipple placements out of 5 from me.

cuckoo said...

Agreed.
The F13 films were never good.
So yes Nispel succeeded in keeping the diarrhea a watered down, repulsive consistency. XD

I enjoyed the kill scenes of the 2 kids on the boat....and sleeping bag girl made me titter a bit too.
The rest was just...uninspired and more or less just pointless reasons to make the bodycount an even 13?
Something had to do with 13 in the film...because it sure as feck didn't say anything about it actually being set on Friday the 13th.