FRIDAY THE 13TH [2009]

Shitty remake director Marcus Nispel creates a mish-mash of the first four Friday the 13th films which results in what I suppose is an accurate definition of a shit-mix.

There's these kids, they go to Crystal Lake to do drugs, have sex and get killed by the deranged killer Jason Voorhees.
Nispel washes the over-saturated film with a grungy vibe that is nice to look at first but grows tired very quickly as you realize it doesn't hide the complete lack of creativity or ambition to give the audience anything tasty to chew on.  However for those actively seeking out shallow, unimaginative schlock-fests with some all right kills then this might actually do the trick.
Just be warned, even producer Michael Bay said he walked out of this film.

1 fine time for a fap out of 5

Rocket Science (2007)

An indie comedy drama with a young stuttering protagonist that gets hand-picked to join the school debate team. Along the way he discovers that life is about more than just being socially alienated. It’s the usual coming of age tale that indie productions are so very good at telling. Had it been a little more uniquely poignant and a little less analogous of the archetype it would have earned a great score.

3 farming subsidies launch cataclysms out of 5