400 Days (2015)

Four wannabe astronauts spend 400 days underground to simulate deep space travel. It's an intriguing idea with cabin fever written all over it. Due to a quaint budget, the production design is understandably low-tech. If I'm completely honest, I would call it a poor-man's Solaris, Event Horizon or even Cube. But only in plot comparison, as the performances are less than memorable. An interesting connection arises between DC alumnus Brandon Routh and Caity Lotz, Dane Cook plays the cliche instigator while Ben Feldman, haunted by his past, squirms in a corner. A Twilight Zone-esque twist in the final act adds some much needed flavor, but unfortunately the climax plays with expectations that can't be resolved. 

2 Miss Februarys out of 5

FRIDAY THE 13TH [2009]

Shitty remake director Marcus Nispel creates a mish-mash of the first four Friday the 13th films which results in what I suppose is an accurate definition of a shit-mix.

There's these kids, they go to Crystal Lake to do drugs, have sex and get killed by the deranged killer Jason Voorhees.
Nispel washes the over-saturated film with a grungy vibe that is nice to look at first but grows tired very quickly as you realize it doesn't hide the complete lack of creativity or ambition to give the audience anything tasty to chew on.  However for those actively seeking out shallow, unimaginative schlock-fests with some all right kills then this might actually do the trick.
Just be warned, even producer Michael Bay said he walked out of this film.

1 fine time for a fap out of 5

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW [2014]

Director John Erick Dowdle revisits found footage horror film territory with As Above, So Below.
It follows a group of explorers that go deeper into the Catacombs of Paris than anybody has before, only to find there's a terrifying reason why not.
It starts off quite promising with it's well-acted characters embarking into a sense of mysterious adventure à la  Indiana Jones and a frightening claustrophobia reminiscent of The Descent.  The atmosphere and setting make for an extremely creepy crawl into the darkness, as hints of what's to come are placed at all the right moments sending tingles down the spine.  However once the visual "horror/action" elements starts kicking in it falls so far into overused scary movie tactics it's hard not to be disappointed.  A very good start to a so-so conclusion didn't leave me completely turned off but I still can't enthusiastically recommend it either.

3 wrong numbers out of 5