THE TOWN [2010]

Based upon Chuck Hogan's crime thriller novel, The Town, actor/director Ben Affleck gathers together an amazing cast and takes us on another moody and atmospheric trip through Boston.
Like his directorial debut, Gone Baby Gone, Affleck allows the city to play the leading character while setting up the captivating story and characters around it. With brutally realistic action pieces, believable performances and tension that builds at the perfect pace, The Town shows that Affleck is an incredibly talented director and storyteller.

4 Nuns With Guns out of 5

The Breakfast Club (1985)

Five kids with nothing in common other than being in Saturday detention do their best to remain sane. This is 80's gold. The jock, the jerk, the dork, the little rich girl and the weird quiet klepto are the stock types given, but the depth of character raises the bar. If you’re lucky enough to have caught it during your mid-teens it can stay with you forever. Classic stuff.

4 lets party in the library of 5

Moulin Rouge! (2001)

A nauseating clusterfuck of styles that steals from everywhere and is occasionally innovative. It has some very irritating editing that made me want to stab my own eyes. Like the rest of Baz's work it's much too ham-fisted to be watched often.

1½ style over substance out of 5

Revolver (2005)

The Stath enters a game that's impossible to win in the traditional sense.
I watched Revolver at release and was expecting another Mockney Gangsta flick. What I got didn't fit the formula. I thought it sucked.
Now, being older and (slightly) wiser I can appreciate the film isn't the turd I initially thought. I didn't understand it before. Now I do. It’s both blatantly obvious and equally cryptic, to the detriment of the film form. If the numbers 3, 10 and 32 mean anything to you, you'll "get" the film.

NOTE: The R1 release is the "simplified" version. The R2 is the original version.

3 hey, it's that guy from Sopranos out of 5

A Chinese Ghost Story: The Tsui Hark Animation (1997)

aka: Xiao Qian

Animated version of this. The basic plot is the same but the location has changed. It's now in a town very like Hayao Miyazaki's Spirited Away, which it predates by four years!
It’s full of inventive creatures that would have been impossible to do in live action. The live action is much better. Still, it has the honour of being the first ever Chinese animated feature from Hong Kong.

2 death liners and tree demons out of 5

I'm a Cyborg, but That's OK (2006)

aka: Ssaibogeujiman gwaenchanha

Instructions for use:

Step 1: Insert disc
Step 2: Sit
Step 3: Scratch genitals (optional)
Step 4: Press PLAY
Step 5: Smile and Laugh

NOTE:  Contains Nuts. May cause you to feel good.

4½ wet socks out of 5

MONEYBALL [2011]

If someone told me to go see Moneyball I'd probably not listen and assume I wouldn't like it. I would be wrong.
The Oakland A's General Manager Billy Beane is at the bottom the shit-hill and needs to find a way by picking out a winning team with the aid of his new assistant GM who's fresh to the game. Brad Pitt gives a profound performance but it's Jonah Hill who steals the show with his surprisingly charming nice-guy act.
It's well-paced, funny, interesting and no silly "uplifting" speech at the end, that all came as a pleasant surprise for a guy who doesn't know a single lick about baseball.

3½ Spike Jonze cameos out of 5

Jackie Chan's Who Am I? (1998)

Aka: Wo Shi Shei / Who Am I? /  Jackie Chan Is Nobody / Amnesia

There's some very dodgy dubbing going on during the first ten minutes of Chan's Who Am I?. Mercifully, it disappears and settles into a regular adventure wherein Jackie's lost his memory and has no idea why people are trying to kill him. It’s light on action for a long time, but the second half brings the Chan! Some long takes prove he's no fake.
Most of the acting is laughable for all the wrong reasons.
The US release is cut by nine minutes.

3 dogs and clogs out of 5

Slaughterhouse-Five (1972)

I don't know who said 'don't judge a book by its film,' but I've a feeling that he or she would approve of my using it here. Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five (1969) is a modern masterpiece and one of the few novels that I'd recommended to all, no matter what their regular reading habits may be. It really is that good. The film, sadly, isn't its equal. It's much too bleak; and while the odd humour is there, it's too often buried under the severity of the imagery. Vonnegut's Billy Pilgrim has become unstuck once more, this time in film, but it's from arguably his own unique narrative voice.

2½ humiliations out of 5

Day Watch (2006)

After a brief introduction, Day carries on from where Night Watch left off. However, while Night was consistently good, Day isn't. The first half is a mess and some attempts at humour fall flat. If you can endure it the last hour will make the journey very worthwhile. It pulls out all the tricks and leaves a very satisfying but equally prodigious ending.
Once again, the International release is heavily cut (by 14 minutes). Get the Unrated Dir Cut if you can. We may never see part 3 becuase Hollywood bought the rights to it and they don't make Russian films in America.

3½ birthday parties are a pain out of 5

Night Watch (2004)

Anton has a moment of selfish abandon and his whole world turns to shit as a result. He gets thrown into the first ever big budget Russian fantasy film that's heavy on FX but also heavy on story. It's a highly original, perfect antidote to the Hollywood garbage we're spoon-fed annually.
There are two versions of the film. If you have the one with the crazy subtitles you have the International version. It has some new scenes and some scenes cut making it 10 minutes shorter than the original Russian version. Try and find the release that has both.

4 sideways shuffles into the gloom out of 5

Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo (2006)

The mini heroes go to Tokyo in pursuit of a bad guy, and despite Robin insisting it’s not a vacation the rest of the team don’t pay much attention to him. TiT is a quality animation. It’s funny, fast paced, well-written, full of heart and has wonderful characterisation. Voices are also excellent. The opening credit sequence was pure gold. I haven’t a single negative thing to say about it. It made me want to see the TV series.

4 super twinkle donkey gum out of 5

Om Shanti Om (2007)

Butt-numbing Bollywood epic that spans a lifetime. It’s a film about film and it’s a film about love. It’s also a film about the love of film. It works best when it exposes the superficiality of cinema, but fails to stay atop the pedestal when it succumbs to the very same thing.
There seems to have been more money spent on makeup for one scene than I have to spend on food in a month.
It gets a little weird halfway through, but stick it out for a great ending.

3 coconuts and wine out of 5

Someone's Watching Me! (1978)

John Carpenter made a Hitchcock film. Aficionados of the fat man will spot his trademark camera movements, framing, POV shots, the camera holding on objects and the famous zoom/dolly. It has bits from Psycho (1960), Rear Window (1954) and Vertigo (1958), Hitch’s three best films, imo.
When it’s not being Hitch it’s being typical Carpenter, who excels in the trapped inside scenario. It’s not a very engaging film, but for fans of either director it’s kind of fun.

2½ burly man and slick man out of 5

Wing Chun (1994)

Michelle Yeoh kicks some bad guy butt and makes it look effortless.
Along the way there are some moments of slapstick comedy and innuendo for shits and giggles. The film is a kinetic blast of masterful action set pieces produced and directed by Yuen Woo-ping. Action choreography by Woo-ping and Donnie Yen. That’s really all you need to know to want to watch it.

4 belly busters out of 5