Swamp Thing (1982)

Alice Cable (Adrienne Barbeau) gets helicoptered into a swamp to meet with a research team whose secretive studies involving animal and plant life take a turn for the worst. Naturally, Alice ends up in the middle of it all. Although, mostly that amounts to her running around while the anguished Swamp Thing in a veiny green rubber onesie hollers and throws guys around.
It's a cheap and cheesy 80s B-Movie with campy moments, but good fun if you're in the correct frame of mind. There are a few memorable scenes in which the creature elevates itself with some brief but eloquent sensitivity; more of those would've made it a better film overall.
NOTE: the US version is shorter than the International Cut. It's by only a few minutes, but fans of Adrienne will probably want to see the longer one.

3 natural ways out of 5

Two Evil Eyes (1990)

Using a duo of Poe stories, George A. Romero and Dario Argento direct this little anthology film. In "The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar," Romero presents the stronger of the two as a deceitful couple's (Adrienne Barbeau & Ramy Zada) scheme backfires in the most unearthly way. Reminiscent of a great Tales From the Crypt episode, the modernized story works well as a cautionary warning against capitalism and greed while still doling out some chills. Argento tackles "The Black Cat" while smartly incorporating tidbits from some of Poe's other classics. Despite it being a more faithful adaptation, his portion is the weaker of the two. In an uninspired performance, Harvey Keitel plays the short-tempered lead, Usher. Arguably, this segment contains the most memorable climax, but a few of the scenes lead nowhere and some character choices are more than a little perplexing. 

3 boxes of teeth out of 5

TALES OF HALLOWEEN [2015]

Featuring a gaggle of well-known and not-so well known genre directors, including Neil Marshall, Lucky McKee & Darren Lynn Bousman, Tales of Halloween, is an anthology film that seems like it's set out to compete with Michael Dougherty's modern cult-classic Trick 'r Treat for the most amount of fun a Halloween film can be.
Does it succeed?  Almost.
There's a few weak shorts in the bunch but for the most part it's really sick and twisted gory fun that keeps on rolling right up to the final frame.  Even the weaker shorts are enough fun to keep it from ever really losing steam.

3 spooky Mick Garris' out of 5

The Cannonball Run (1981)

A comedy about an illegal 3000 mile automobile race across America, starring Burt Reynolds’ moustache (with an actual Burt Reynolds attached) and Dom DeLuise. They're backed up by a large cast of international actors who willingly take the piss out of their own status and iconic roles. The plot is paper thin, but the character-based gags and rivalries are still funny.
I’m almost certain TCR was the first Golden Harvest film I ever saw as a kid, which means it's likely it was my first ever Jackie Chan film, too.  0_0

3 speed limits are for guidance purposes only out of 5

Escape from New York (1981)

Snake Plisskin is one of the best roles Kurt Russell ever had. He’s a kind of inner-city version of Clint Eastwood’s no-nonsense cowboy persona but with impaired depth perception. He’s military trained but cares little for authority, so when he’s offered the opportunity to gain a little more freedom from society’s grip (and keep his ass out of prison) Snake has little choice but to say yes. What follows is an action movie in the inimitable John Carpenter style filled with great characters, shifting shadows and a pulse courtesy of a score from the Carpenter/Howarth pairing.

4 nervous passengers out of 5

Someone's Watching Me! (1978)

John Carpenter made a Hitchcock film. Aficionados of the fat man will spot his trademark camera movements, framing, POV shots, the camera holding on objects and the famous zoom/dolly. It has bits from Psycho (1960), Rear Window (1954) and Vertigo (1958), Hitch’s three best films, imo.
When it’s not being Hitch it’s being typical Carpenter, who excels in the trapped inside scenario. It’s not a very engaging film, but for fans of either director it’s kind of fun.

2½ burly man and slick man out of 5

The Fog (1980)

The fictional Antonio Bay is the setting for a traditional ghost story with a John Carpenter twist. The Bay's residents are proud of their community, unaware that it has a shady past. But when their 100 years celebration comes around, the sins of the past demand a recompense from the present.
There's not much more to the plot other than scary fog and green lights, but it’s the atmosphere, the tension and the overall Carpenter vibe that raise The Fog above its B-Movie origins. Fans of the director will know what I mean.

3½ gold doubloons out of 5