Made in Britain (1982)

A portrait of a violent, racist and unremorseful sixteen-year-old skinhead named Trevor who lacks any redeeming qualities, although he's more intelligent than the swastika tattoo on his head might make people think. His social worker and the staff at the assessment centre offer their services, but all the youth sees is yet more authority figures to be hated.
It's a slice of life drama presented in Alan Clarke's no-frills realism style, with no moralising or reassuring messages to help viewers sleep soundly in their beds when all is said and done. But Tim Roth's amazing performance in the lead role will surely stick in the memory long after the rest has faded.

3½ chalk options out of 5

Toy Soldiers (1991)

In what sounds like a preposterous premise when written down, Dir. Daniel Petrie Jr's film has Colombian drug dealers taking control of a boys prep school in a bid to force the US government to meet their demands.
Five friends, troublemakers who're a regular pain in the ass to the firm but (more than) fair Dean, choose to fight back. It's a story in which a group of underachievers show their worth when their backs are against the wall, proving to all and sundry that they can kick it when it counts. Beyond that it's a better than expected 90s late-teens movie with the violence and strong language dial turned to the right a little more than usual. The cast are well-suited to their role, but none more so than Louis Gossett Jr. as the Dean.

3 resolute rejects out of 5

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)

Woolf was Dir. Nichols' first feature film, which is a hell of a thing to have on your CV. Adapted from Edward Albee's stage play it's an intimate portrait of a middle aged husband and wife, George and Martha (Burton and Taylor), who've been married too long and wilfully consume too much alcohol, a combination that results in a frequent battle of wills, savage one-upmanship, hurtful sarcasm, insults and straightforward spiteful comments, much of which is blackly humorous. The duo are visited late one night by a younger couple and so begins an airing of dirty laundry that's as compelling as it is shocking. The big names are predictably great, but Sandy Dennis is equally fantastic.

4 exercised wits out of 5

Martian Child (2007)

Dir. Menno Meyjes' MC is about David (John Cusack), a widowed science fiction author, and the bond he struggles to forge with his newly adopted son, a strange kid named Dennis (Bobby Coleman) who claims to be a Martian.
The quirky set-up does its job well, addressing its intended audience. Even the playful but slightly reserved cover art is a hint to the type of film you're getting: a comedy/drama about relationships and self-discovery. I've seen the same kind of thing done better, but if the thought of yet another sweet, sentimental film in which a self-isolated young boy and an adult male with something missing in his life help solve each other's emotional problems is pleasing to you, then it'll probably tick most of your boxes.

3 coping mechanisms out of 5

Brotherhood (2016)

Adulthood (2008) proved that Sam (Noel Clarke) was a character worth exploring. In Brotherhood he's ten years older and, thankfully, somewhat wiser. His current role is one that he takes seriously, but his methods, although not for wholly selfish reasons, are damaging in their own way.
As before, an element of Sam's past is responsible for the external conflict, pressuring him to call upon his violent side in order to make things right again. That's all well and good in theory, but it's presented as cockney gangster scenes that were, frankly, a terrible mistake. When Clarke sticks to what he knows, when he respects his own limitations, there's some REALLY powerful stuff to be found. It's a patchy but worthwhile end to the trilogy.

3 airs of "unlikability" out of 5

The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

Dir. Joel Schumacher's filmed version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical version of Gaston Leroux's famous French novel (1910). I'd hoped for drama, theatrical, fantastical and fraught with emotions, but what I got was half-hearted at best and Baz Luhrmann-esque at worst. There are some neat cinematic tricks on offer, but overall it's not very exciting.
Emmy Rossum (great hair) does okay, and she sure can sing, but, surprisingly, it's Butler that comes closest to displaying any hint of passion, albeit minor; most everyone else is just there, in costume but not so much in spirit.
The memorable part for me was the first half of the cemetery scene that comes late in the running time; the swamped in dry-ice set was beautiful.

2½ strange duets out of 5

Summer of Sam (1999)

Set in a NYC  borough during the sizzling summer of '77, when the 'Son of Sam' serial murders were happening (in real life, too), Spike Lee's fictional drama focuses on how the murders affect a group of friends/associates on an intimate scale and how they affect a neighbourhood on a wider one.
John Leguizamo plays Vinny, married to Dionna (Mira Sorvino) but happy to put his cock in any female that looks his way; it's perhaps the best work I've ever seen by Leguizamo. Adrien Brody, on the other hand, as Ritchie, a fan of British punk music, isn't at his best. But the real star of the show is Spike – not his acting, that's for sure, but his ability to indulge his passions as a filmmaker without losing sight of the bigger picture. There's also some very memorable pairings of audio/music with the shockingly violent imagery.

3½ dog collars out of 5

Cobra (1986)

A violent 80s action movie produced by the Cannon Group that has almost nothing of note to offer a viewer beyond its pure-bred action credentials.
There was some attempt to give the toughened lieutenant Cobra (Stallone) an understated sense of humour, but it's about as successful as trying to pin a badge on smoke. The musical montage is absolutely atrocious (and that's being kind to it). The main bad guy is a jobbing actor that I like but he's written as a crazed murderous meat-machine with no nuance whatsoever.
Amidst all the clichés and copycat nonsense the music adds a suitably menacing tone and is, for me, the most memorable ingredient.

2½ dietary japes out of 5

Adulthood (2008)

A sequel to Kidulthood (2006) that's set six years after the tragic event that ended the first film. Sam has matured but the streets haven't; youths who are willing to embrace violence as a way of life are still plentiful. To bury his former life Sam must confront his past one more time, which means going face to face with the people that his previous action left most affected.
Not all of the actors are memorable, but writer/director/actor Noel Clarke does fantastic work in his triple role. The aura of regret and sadness that surrounds Sam is never overplayed, keeping relevant the acknowledgement that physical and emotional scars can change a person deep down. The middle section could've been tighter, but the last third drives home the desperation and need for acceptance that a life forged on the streets can lead to.

4 bargaining tools out of 5

Stanley Kubrick: A Life in Pictures (2001)

A standard documentary that strives to shed light on Dir. Stanley Kubrick by interviewing actors, collaborators, fellow directors, and family members.
I'm not going to go as far as to call it a cheap exposé, because it does at least try to avoid going down that route, but considering that Kubrick valued his privacy and, even to the detriment of his own public image, preferred to let his art works (his films) speak for themselves, then from a conceptual point of view A Life in Pictures is the antithesis of its subject's beliefs. If it really wanted to respect the filmmaker it would never have been made to begin with; I doubt it would've been if Stanley had still been alive at the time. My advice would be to do yourself a favour and rewatch his best films instead.

2½ East London palm trees out of 5

Instant Swamp (2009)

Haname (Kumiko Asô) is something of a walking contradiction. She believes only in things that she can see with her own eyes, but misses many of the coincidences that seem to follow her around. She mocks others for reading horoscopes, etc, and yet has a secret desire that fate will deliver her the romantic resolution to her slowly 'eroding' life that she hungers for. But when fate instead introduces her to a hippy (Morio Kazama) and a punk (Ryo Kase), Haname's active imagination is kicked into overdrive.
The film arrives at its message/destination in a roundabout way, but even when chasing its own tail it's fun to watch. The ending is both predicable and wildly unpredictable, but in a complementary and satisfying way.

3 "interesting circumstances" out of 5

The Score (2001)

Nick Wells (De Niro) is a jazz club owner who exists in an almost exclusive mood-lighting environment when indoors. In addition to running his club (which he hardly does) he's a safe-cracking thief, a talent that he puts to use only if the situation satisfies his calculated risk assessment. After decades of such risk he's on the verge of giving up. But there's one final job to be done, the biggest 'score' of his life, which naturally comes with the biggest risk.
It's the type of film that I enjoyed, because it's well-made and the performances of the actors are all commendable, but have no desire to ever watch again. As a one-time thing it passed the hours just fine. It's a slow-boil, purposefully holding back the pace until the last half hour.

3 night shifts out of 5

Inserts (1975)

It's somewhat ironic that Dir. John Byrum's first feature was for twenty-one years lumbered with an X rating, considering it's a black comedy/satire/direct commentary on the movie business, the people that work in it, and the people that consume its output. At least, I think that's what it's about. It's not explicit in meaning, but it is explicit in other ways, hence the rating for sexual content.
Richard Dreyfuss plays a 1930s film-maker who's left the Hollywood system. Unable to deal with the 'talkies', he now spends his time shooting sleazy silent porn movies in his apartment, a location that the camera never leaves.
With just five characters, including Veronica Cartwright, who I'm a big fan of, it's like a stage play, in which the seemingly washed-up pornographer's interactions with the others reveals the naked truth about himself.

3 genre edicts out of 5

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Fourth-wall breaking Ferris is a confidently cocky role model for liars and phonies. He decides to take a day off school, but needs others to share in his fun lest his calculated brilliance go unnoticed. Enter the reluctant Cameron (Alan Ruck), the film's best character. On the surface Ferris is well-presented, but surface is all he is, whereas Cameron has depth and learns from his experiences. The third member of the group is Ferris' girlfriend (Mia Sara), whose role is mostly to smile wryly or sympathetically in reaction shots.
The determined school Principal (Jeffrey Jones), an authority figure that's mocked not just by students but by his own ill-considered actions, serves as a counterpoint to Bueller's carefree cleverness, but he's borderline slapstick. All in all, FB is an entertaining but much overrated John Hughes flick.

3 close calls out of

Hawk the Slayer (1980)

A cheesy but fondly remembered by many (including yours truly) Sword + Sorcery flick that borrows plot from many sources, including Tolkien, the Western genre, and a well-known sci-fi film that I once again refuse to name.
John Terry is Hawk, the leading man with an impractically-balanced magic sword, but the script doesn't push him to the fore like you'd expect.
Hawk's face-ache evil sibling, Voltan - The Dark One, is actor Jack Palance; he hams it up, but I get the feeling he's slightly embarrassed to be there.
Much of it appears to have been filmed within a few hundred square feet of English forest. I'm sure I saw the same tree multiple times.
Harry Robertson's bitchin' soundtrack is like hearing a 1970s folk band playing snippets of Jeff Wayne and Ennio Morricone, with pastoral interludes.
It's a strange and difficult film to defend, but I'm absolutely a fan of it.

3 [mystical noises] out of 5