A Chinese Ghost Story (2011)

Ching Siu-tung’s classic supernatural/comedy/romance re-imagined for a modern audience. It’s respectful to the original but throws in some new elements that don't feel out of place, and happily it keeps the CGI to a mostly support role; it could've been a lot worse.
With more money to play around with it’s no surprise that lighting is better, sets are larger and film stock superior, but it really can’t compare to the original in terms of emotion. The two leads (Yifei Liu and Shaoqun Yu) lack the chemistry of Joey Wong and the late, great Leslie Cheung.

2½ candy pieces out of 5

The Dragon Chronicles: The Maidens of Heavenly Mountains (1994)

aka: Semi-Gods and Semi-Devils

A Chinese martial arts fantasy from the halcyon years with an almost incomprehensible story. Who’s that guy? Wasn't she… but… WTF is going on? Despite the head-scratching there’s a lot of fun to be had because the production is bursting at the seams with ambition. All the usual genre staples are in place: flying maidens, supernatural occurrences, daggers of light projecting from fingertips, exploding rocks, etc.
The real draw is seeing Brigitte Lin, Gong Li and Sharla Cheung (aka Man Cheung) together. They eat up the screen with grace and beauty. Brigitte fills two roles, but she’s done this kind of film before so she feels at home. I was surprised by how well Gong Li adapted.

3 heroic losers out of 5

BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO [2012]

Berberian Sound Studio is an unique slow-burning psychological horror film, starring Toby Jones as a British sound engineer in the 1970's who begins losing his mind as he works on a disturbing Italian slasher flick.
Director Peter Strickland makes the great decision of never allowing the viewer to ever see the film being worked on and only to hear it, making for an unsettling atmosphere within the stark and outlandish studio.  If you have a black sense of humor, a taste for the weird and a love for the technique of filmmaking, this movie will probably be right down your alley.

4 grazing cows out of 5

THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE [2013]

30 Rock director Don Scardino makes a bumpy transition from TV to the big screen with the oddball comedy The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.
With a completely harebrained concept the film is disappointingly predictable and hardly takes any risks to stand above the run-of-the-mill inane comedy.  Still, it manages to pack in enough laughs and heart, even when it does take a distracting turn into the disgusting.  The uneven tone of the film makes the simple plot seem messier than it really is and that's where it hurts this potentially great idea the most.

2½ brain rapists out of 5

MAN OF STEEL [2013]

With more than a little help from Chris Nolan, director Zack Snyder reimagines the Superman story in the highly anticipated Man Of Steel.
Even though it doesn't really explore anything new with the story, Snyder & co make up for it with sheer spectacle and sensory overload.  Henry Cavill falls a little flat as Supes but makes a great, moody Clark Kent, with Russell Crowe, Kevin Costner and the ever-wonderful Michael Shannon all turning in some strong performances.  It never really does find a proper balance to carry it's own weight but still manages to soar as pure eye-candy escapism.

3 Kryptonian nomads out of 5

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010)

Dee is a kind of Chinese Sherlock that exists in a world based in reality that has a large dose of fantasy heaped on top. He’s tasked with uncovering the cause of some seemingly supernatural murders, all the while juggling political beliefs that differ from that of his employer.
Dee was a real individual (Di Renjie) that lived during the Tang Dynasty, but I'm confident in saying he couldn't do the things he does here.
It’s Tsui Hark through and through, but it has problems. The most obvious being the great Sammo Hung choreography gets smothered by a thick layer of unnecessary CGI; it does a good job hiding the wires but it cheapens the final product.  Stop with the CGI, Tsui; please, please, please stop.

2½ cases of extreme sunburn out of 5

IDENTITY THIEF [2013]

With the exception of a handful of films, actor Jason Bateman does mostly shit outside of Arrested Development. Bridesmaids Horrible Bosses director Seth Gordon's crime caper comedy Identity Thief falls under that "shit" category.
Normally with films like these I expect it to be predictable from beginning to end but count on it to provide some good throwaway laughs.  This film spurts a few minor chuckles and very little of anything else.  I really like Melissa McCarthy but even her schtick can't save this from being a complete bore.

1 throat punch out of 5

THE DARK CRYSTAL [1982]

There really is nothing like Jim Henson & Frank Oz's morbid children's fantasy puppet extravaganza The Dark Crystal.
Heavily influenced by Tolkien and the spirituality of Seth Material, Henson & Oz based their story around Brian Froud's artwork and resulted in a stunning visual masterpiece with groundbreaking animatronic effects.  Unfortunately it's the story and characters that lack any real memorable personality and that's where it really hurts the film.  Regardless of it's heavy faults, the film remains a childhood favorite and is something I hold dear to my heart.

3½ podling slaves out of 5

The Mighty Boosh Live (2006)

A Boosh live show featuring many of the characters from the bizarre TV Series. After much flaffing around during an extended introduction, ‘The Ruby of Kokundo’ story gets underway. It’s a bit of a mess structurally but has the same kind of avant-garde humour we've come to expect from the team. There’s some great sketches and some great gags, but unfortunately it all goes on much too long and the Bob Fossil character comes across as an arrogant prick instead of a selfish half-wit. It's as much miss as hit.

2½ shards of mime glass out of 5

SNITCH [2013]

Ric Roman Waugh, director of Felon, lets Dwayne Johnson carry the tense crime drama Snitch on his shoulders and he does so in a very convincing performance.
I honestly went into this film expecting brainless, excessively violent fun but instead got a pleasant surprise with something dark, broody and emotionally high-strung with very minimal violence.  Not only is Johnson great but he's joined by a strong supporting cast that knows their place and plays it well.  The only real drawback is the generic purpose of the film seems to get lost around the halfway mark and we're suddenly reminded at the very end why all this went down in the first place.

3 special deliveries out of 5

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex: Solid State Society (2006)

SSS is set two years after the end of the SAC TV Series. I'd recommend you DO NOT watch it until after you've seen all of SAC 2nd GIG.
Section 9 continues to function despite their loss, but the organisation seems to be almost on the verge of fragmenting. A new threat known as the Puppeteer brings the team together and in doing so exposes the inner feelings of some key members.
The story is pulled in opposing directions for a long time. It's frustrating, but by the end it delivers as only SAC can.
It feels like an extended episode, which is as much praise for the TV Series as it is any kind of criticism of the film.

3½ nods to Oshii out of 5

Bullet in the Head (1990)

John Woo’s harrowing war drama started life as a prequel to A Better Tomorrow (1986) but was changed, expanded, and infused with a more politically poignant ideology. It follows three friends who end up in Vietnam during the war. They’re there to make their fortune, not to fight, but in conflict no one is exempt from suspicion.
It propelled Tony Leung into stardom, and he deserved it. He delivers perfectly the kind of inner turmoil nuances that Woo fills all of his heroes with. It’s a long film and not always an enjoyable viewing experience, but it’s one that Woo fans will want to endure.
The more ambivalent alternate ending is better, imo.

3½ inner scars out of 5

3:10 TO YUMA [2007]

James Mangold's adaptation of Elmore Leonard's Western novel 3:10 To Yuma is a tightly paced ride that has it's up and downs.
This film genre is a rarity in this day and age, so I welcome it with open arms and doesn't disappoint someone starving for a good ol' horseback ridin' shoot 'em up.  Although, as a lover of all film, it falls very short and seems more like a missed opportunity.  Russell Crowe's Big Bad is an interesting character study but never quite explores it's greater potential, while Christian Bale's moody good guy is dull, dull and more dull.  Possibly the best parts of the film are the  wonderful supporting cast, including Peter Fonda, Ben Foster, Alan Tudyk & Kevin Durand and composer Marco Beltrami's wonderfully fleshed out score.

3 flaming stagecoaches out of 5

DEATH BECOMES HER [1992]

Director Robert Zemeckis' Death Becomes Her channels the same sort of black humour found in The War Of The Roses and throws a supernatural twist into it.
Action star Bruce Willis takes a back seat, while nerding it up, to allow Meryl Streep & Goldie Hawn to take center stage hamming it up in some deliciously bitchy fashion.  Zemeckis manages to juggle in your face gags with sublime humour that might slip under the radar for some.  As with nearly all the director's films, it's a special effects vehicle that is fortunately held up with a solid story and script.  It's not perfect but has some great performances and belly laughs to cement it as a cult classic.

3 "dead" celebrities out of 5

JACK THE GIANT SLAYER [2013]

Director Bryan Singer's Jack The Giant Slayer is an uneven fairy tale adventure film that borrows elements from Jack & The Beanstalk and Jack The Giant Killer then glazes it over with hokey CGI effects.
The performances are enthusiastically overacted with great effect and the special effects are artificial in such a way that benefits the fairy tale aspects of the story but it's all dragged down by a terribly boring yawn-worthy script that seemed to have no idea what it wanted to focus on.  It lacks personality, wit or charm and hurts everything in the worst of ways.  With a good script doctor, Jack could have been a silly wild ride with no regrets, instead it sputters and grasps for fresh air.

2 pigs-in-a-blanket out of 5