Don't Look Up (2021)

An all-star ensemble satirical black comedy about two scientists attempting to warn humanity about an impending disaster that signals the end of the world, while everybody turns a blind eye, which hits a little bit too close to home. It's exaggerated and ridiculous for a reason, but handled entirely convincingly, almost like an unofficial sequel to Idiocracy (or an even more grim version of Seeking a Friend for the End of the World). All of these things could still come true today. The only thing you can do is sit back and laugh while you watch it all burn.

4 "free snacks" out of 5

Rupture (2016)

A single mother (Noomi Rapace) is kidnapped and mysteriously tested on in this indie sci-fi thriller. Everything in the first half of Rupture is satisfactory and well played out. From the dysfunctional family dynamic to the initial conflict to the enigmatic agenda of the kidnappers and the eventual attempts to escape. Up to that point, the film succeeds in holding your attention and keeping you on the edge of your seat. It's only in the latter half when more and more light is shed on the ridiculous twist where the story loses its traction. The less than stellar CG effects add to the growing disappointment. I suspect Secretary director Stephen Shainberg's involvment attracted the decent cast. Unfortunately, Rupture is not only a waste of talent but a waste of time.

1½ worst fears out of 5

Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

Why did I watch it if the first one was so shit? It’s the other way around. I watched part one so I'd have the background I thought I'd need for part two. I wanted to see Galactus. He was a huge disappointment. The only joy I got was from Stan Lee’s best ever cameo.

1 lollipop land out of 5

Fantastic Four (2005)

It’s a bright and colourful origin story, but it’s another solid case of a movie studio milking a tit they've never been properly introduced to.
The biggest problem is in casting. Alba was chosen for one reason alone, and it wasn't her acting ability. The only one of the team that captures the essence of their comic book counterpart is Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm; he’s the one thing that’s in any way ‘fantastic’ about this shit-fest.

1½ plastic bore out of 5

PARKER [2013]

Taylor Hackford steps a bit out of his comfort zone by directing his first "gritty" crime thriller, the Jason Statham vehicle, Parker.
The film starts off like it could be intriguing but quickly slides off that notion and gets painfully predictable and boring as it begins feeling slapped together and uninspired.  Surprisingly, Jennifer Lopez is the shining light here, as she serves as comic relief in tight skirts while The Stath is beginning to get just a little too comfy by never pushing himself to do anything but collect a paycheck these days.  In the end, the film is nothing short of boring and dull, with the exception of feeling embarrassed for The Stath as he tries to pull off a Texan accent.  Feck.

2 Fish camps out of 5