THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS [2017]

Director F. Gary Gray's The Fate of the Furious, the eighth film in the F&F franchise, shows no sign of the series wrapping up.
This time around Diesel's Dom has turned to the dark side forcing The Rock & The Stath to put their differences aside and work together to bring him down, while evading the walls of a prison, an army of cars and a nuclear submarine.
The film doesn't resemble anything that original films set out to do but that's alright because it's so god-damned fun.  There's plenty of laughs, both intentional and unintentional, jammed in-between the carnage-fueled action sequences.  Surpassing Jurassic Park and even Star Wars at the box office means there's no end in sight for the series but that's all right because the film's stars still seem to be having just as much as it's long-time fans are.

3½ hakas out of 5

FURIOUS 7 [2015]

Horror movie director James Wan makes his first step into jaw-dropping actions films with the latest instalment of The Fast & The Furious franchise,  the tritely-titled Furious 7.
Dom, O'Connor & the rest of the family are back for, yet again, one last job, this time hilariously saving the world from Owen Shaw's nastier older brother.  Like it's predecessors, it lacks in brains, depth or a whole lot of thought-provoking substance but excels in ridiculous, but cheer-worthy action sequences, a sincere heart and an entertaining multicultural cast.  With Paul Walker's death looming over the film, it doesn't let up on the fun as the absurd action kicks into high-gear within seconds of the opening titles.  It's a surprisingly tasteful way to bid farewell to Walker's character, but, as of writing this, the film has passed the $1 billion mark at the box office which guarantees future rides from Diesel and the gang.

3½ Tokyo drifts out of 5

FAST & FURIOUS 6 [2013]

Director Justin Lin's 6th and final film in The Fast & The Furious franchise takes the family out of the exotic locations of before and lands them in the gritty land of England and tea & scones.
Sure, it's short on brains, character development and much of a storyline but that's not really what fans are here for.  It delivers by the meat-headed truckloads with vehicular carnage, bloody hand-to-hand combat, silly but good natured humor, insanely choreographed action sequences that go way over the top and...well...a tank.
With Lin stepping down and Insidious director James Wan stepping in for the next film, I can't wait, seeing as the post credits scene made me wet my pants with fanboy anticipation.

3 F&F family doppelgangers out of 5

BETTER LUCK TOMORROW [2002]

Serving as sort of a lead-in to the Fast & Furious' Han Lue's life before his life of cool cars &organized crime, writer/director Justin Lin's Better Luck Tomorrow is a bit difficult to wrap your head around at first.  

It's not particularly flashy or fast-paced like the F&F series but seems more like an indie-crime drama that can't quite decide what it wants to be.  It's filled with loads of bizarre camera shots and multi-layered character moments but also has it's fair share of awkward performances and klunky dialogue.  Take a bunch of F&F type characters and place them in thoughtful, down-to-earth situations and it quickly exposes them as the douches they are.  All faults aside, it's a frightening and shocking film that proves Lin has a little something more inside him than just dumb action films. 

3 Beaver Cleaver The Teachers out of 5

FAST FIVE [2011]

Playing like a who's who of the Fast & Furious franchise, Fast Five brings nearly all the past characters together for a royal rumble, like a grungy Ocean's 11.
Sure, it's filled with cliches and predictable plot points but it's just so damned rough and loud you don't care. Hell, Vin Diesel and The Rock trade punches like it's nobody's business.  They really toned down on the bad hip-hop music and the pointless 'tits & ass' shots to focus more on the outrageous action.
If this is this was the grand finale, then I'd be happy. It's not though....watch for an extra scene after the credits, for an insanely SILLY "jaw-dropper" setting up for another sequel.

3½ Mobile Bank Vaults out of 5

Fast & Furious (2009)

Michelle Rodriguez does what she does in all her roles.

Vin Diesel and Paul Walker are back together which is pretty fun. Jordana Brewster doesn't know what to do and sort of floats around the story aimlessly.

In fact the story and character drive loses it self quite often. The CGI race scenes take you right out of the action and feels too much like a video game.

Apart from a great opening scene, this installment offers nothing much to further develop the franchise but is a vast improvement from 2 & 3.

2 CGI cars out of 5

THE FAST & THE FURIOUS : TOKYO DRIFT [2006]

What a shitfest.

Nobody returns for the this third installment of the F&F franchise and are instead replaced by a bunch of D-listers. One decent character and they kill them off.

Does the F&F franchise hate Asians? They're either villains or supporting characters to the supporting characters....even in Tokyo.

The "drifting" was neat but that novelty wore off super quickly.

AVOID AT ALL COSTS.

½ Japa-----fuck it...I don't even care.

2 FAST 2 FURIOUS [2003]

First of many sequels in the mind-numbing "Fast & Furious" franchise.

Paul Walker returns, this time with Tyrese Gibson who putters along with absolutely none of the charisma Vin Diesel brought to the first film.

Eve Mendes, Common, Devon Aoki and an achingly boring villain played by Cole Hauser round out the rest of the lifeless cast.

There's bad movies that are still fun to watch for the entertaining performances, humor or extravagant action sequences (Bad Boys is a perfect example). This has none of those.

Skip this one.

1 Nap Time out of 5

THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS [2001]

B-listers Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Jordana Brewster and Michelle Rodriguez go "vroom-vroom" all over this vibrantly stylish and brainless action flick.

The dialogue, acting and plot points come off as an insanely horrible 90's video game, taking elements of Top Gun and Point Break. Aimed at the MTV douchebag & ADD generation, it was sure to make millions and spawn off several sequels...as the mini-scene after the end credits proves.

...and the worst part? The last 30 minutes were so fucking cool.

2½ 1995 Honda Civics out of 5

Fast & Furious (2009)

Vin goes vroom, again.

Action man in the accessories sold separately sports car.

Absolutely no surprises.

Like painting by numbers with an 85 million dollar brush.

Barely watchable.

Plot is tertiary.

1 busted rim out of 5