SONG OF THE SOUTH [1946]

 

Disney's live action/animated film Slaves of the Sou...er...Song of the South is inspired by author Joel Chandler Harris' collected Uncle Remus stories.
Set on a plantation in rural Georgia, the framing story revolves around a rich white family who face such white people tragedies as daddy taking a trip, a muddy dress and not getting a puppy.  Each of these problems are solved by the care-free ex-slaves who are perfectly happy to serve no purpose but fix the cracker-asses' tragic dilemmas.
There's some pretty entertaining animated sequences based on the Remus' tales but it's the framing story that pretty much stinks.  Not just because it's offensively racist but it lacks any sort of direction or any realized plotline.  James Baskett does a wonderful job at portraying Uncle Remus with heartfelt depth but he's the only thing worth mentioning beyond the cartoon shorts.

3 tar babies out of 5

DOCTOR STRANGE [2016]

The 60's era Pink Floyd badge that director Scott Derrickson's Doctor Strange wears is swimmingly earned through the mind-bending special effects alone.
The 2nd film in the MCU's Phase 3 (and 14th film all together) follows arrogant neurosurgeon Stephen Strange who discovers an ancient world of mystical arts after a car accident leaves him with irreparable damages to his hands.
Not since Robert Downey Jr's Tony Start has an actor embodied their character with perfection as Benedict Cumberbatch has so gracefully done.  However it's the rest of the actors who are left little to work with behind Strange and the mind-boggling visuals.  The special effects look like Inception, The Matrix & Dark City all dropped acid together and lost all sense of reality, which begs for the IMAX 3D treatment.  Doc Strange isn't the MCU reinvention Marvel seems to think it is but it's still a pretty fun trip to take.

3 interstellar overdrives out of 5

Jazbaa (2015)

After an exploitative post-baby workout vid shows that she's still hot, Aishwarya gets to do some proper acting. A few years off didn't dull her edge. Both she and Irrfan Khan are the main reason the film works at all; without them it would struggle to remain afloat, bogged down as it is with attempts to be logical despite obvious questions being pushed aside or outright ignored.
It's difficult enough to feel sympathy for selfish protagonists, but destroying the all-important court scenes with awful camerawork and swamping the reality of many other scenes by colour enhancing them to within an inch of their life created an additional barrier that could've been avoided.
If you're already a fan of both Aishwarya and Irrfan then you'll likely get your money's worth, like I did; otherwise, deduct half a point from my score.

3 chilling statistics out of 5

The Hand (1981)

An early feature from Oliver Stone, based on author Marc Brandell's novel The Lizard's Tail (1979). I haven't read it. The film stars Michael Caine, struggling with the worst hairstyle of his career. He's a comic book artist married to a crappy, selfish wife (Andrea Marcovicci). The marriage is slowly crumbling.
A freak accident complicates matters further for the artist. It also allows for a psychological edge to creep into the story. It's a good thing, too, because it enables the film to nurture a taut atmosphere, heightened by complementary editing, making it seem like more than just another take on a horror cliché.

3 dangerous reflexes out of 5

OUIJA: ORIGIN OF EVIL [2016]

30 years after Transformers: The Movie, Hasbro finally produces a film that doesn't suck...and it's the prequel to one of the worst movies of 2014.
Director Mike Flanagan's Ouija: Origin of Evil follows a widowed mother & her two daughters who struggle to make ends meet as hosts of phony séances.  It's when the youngest daughter starts getting Aidan Keller creepy that they realize they have actually summoned something with a bit of a grudge.
Like The Conjuring series, Flanagan has a knack for..ahem...conjuring up some pretty creepsome period horror films, dated title cards, reel change signal dots and olde tyme framing & camera trickery.  The build-up is exquisitely timed with some nice jump scares and a surprisingly fleshed-out dramatic pull.  There's absolutely nothing here you haven't seen before but Flanagan does it all with such finesse it really doesn't matter until the watered down finale...but I've almost come to accept there's very few horror films that have a satisfactory conclusion.

3½ vivid descriptions of strangulation out of 5

RED DOG [2011]

Kill Me Three Times director Kriv Stenders brings us Red Dog, a lovable true story about an even more lovable canine.
A legend for his lone travels through Western Australia's Pilbara region in the 70's, Red Dog finds himself adopted by a ragtag group of miner's in a broken down community that needs the love a dog to help bring them together again.
Sappy right?  Well, yeah.  And at times it's pretty far-fetched but it's brought to life with a huge heart that is hard to resist.  It's also pretty funny too but be warned prudish North Americans, it is Trans-Tasman humor which isn't always welcome at the dinner table.  I never forgave Marley & Me for what it inevitably did to my still-broken heart but this one is easier to love because it actually is a good movie unlike the former.

3½ Red Cats out of 5

PEARL HARBOR [2001]

Like Titanic before it, director Michael Bay takes a historical tragedy and turns it into a melodramatic epic romance with his paint-by-numbers World War II drama for dummies, Pearl Harbor.
There's a love triangle filled with plenty of eye-rolling sappiness and somewhere beneath that there's a retelling of the surprise Japanese attack on the Hawaiian U.S. Naval base which ultimately led to the Tokyo Raid.
What we get here is 40 minutes of very horrific warfare and the effective nightmarish aftermath but beyond that is quite frankly embarrassing with nearly 2½ hours of shamefully written upchuck that serves no real purpose to the actual events.  With the exception of the some brilliantly crafted action sequences this film is pretty worthless and an insult to the real events it emulates.

2 hoola shirts out of 5

Death Ship (1980)

A small group of survivors from a sunken cruise ship in the Atlantic think their rich bacon is saved when a ship that's still afloat appears. But the mysterious, rusted, seemingly abandoned vessel is... dun dun duuun... Death Ship!
The out-of-the-frying-pan survivors are a varied bunch, different in age as well as temperament. Perhaps the most notable is George Kennedy, who's his usual dependable self. Kennedy plays a Capt. Moodypants who's approaching retirement but not quite ready to accept what that means for his ego.
My heavy-eyes and insomnia-addled brain didn't cope well with the swaying, seasicky camera movements, but at least there's some justification for them.
At times it's a little like King's Overlook Hotel but on a ship, within which are a few standout scenes that are effectively dramatic.

2½ cold crew out of 5

BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE [2016]

After years of pleas from bothersome fanboys, Alan Moore & Brian Bolland's 1988 graphic novel Batman: The Killing Joke is finally given the animated feature-length treatment.
The Joker does a nasty number on the Gordon family forcing Batsy to hunt him down and inflicting a punishment upon him he sees fit.
I'm probably in the minority here but I never found The Killing Joke book particularly interesting and that follows quite faithfully into the film as well.  Sure there's plenty of disturbingly wicked Joker moments but it's more shock value than anything...especially when you take into consideration the brand new horrid first act tagged on for whatever reason.  It's great to hear Kevin Conroy & Mark Hamill return to their respective roles but even they don't seem all that enthusiastic with what they're given.

2 red hoods out of 5

LITTLE SISTER [2016]

The daddy in director Zach Clark's quirky drama Little Sister isn't really all that big but the film still finds itself going down some dark corridors nonetheless.
A young nun readies to take her final vows but takes a sudden trip back home when her newly disfigured older brother returns from the Iraqi war.
The family is riddled with mild dysfunction, especially Ally Sheedy who seems to be playing it like Allison Reynolds over 20 years later, and she does a wonderful scene-stealing job at it.  By opening the film with a Marilyn Manson quote you know it's not going to be your average dysfunctional family drama and that's fine because there's plenty to laugh at no matter how dark the subject matter might be.  There's a bit much tossed in the background in an attempt to make important statements but thankfully it never gets overly sentimental and that's where it's greatest strength lies.

3 trippy family Hallowen parties out of 5

INSHITE MIRU: 7-KAKAN NO DESU GÊMU [2010]

aka The Incite Mill

Director Hideo Nakata takes a break from creepy long-haired dead Japanese girls with the breezy sci-fi mystery Inshite Miru.

Here we follow ten strangers, trapped in an underground bunker, who all unwillingly partake in a dangerous game of survival for a large sum of money.
It's not particularly original or surprising, in fact it wear it's Agatha Christie influence on it's sleeve, ten little Indians and all.  However it's brisk pacing, atmospheric suspense and wildly entertaining cast make it an easily digestible ride.  Don't expect many twists 'n turns because you'll probably figure it out quicker than you'd like, which is a shame because it takes the fun out of films like these when you're a step or two ahead of them.

3 Guards out of 5

Naina (2005)

An unofficial Hindi language remake of the Pang brothers' renowned Asian horror The Eye (2002). It also poaches ideas from Nakata's Dark Water (2002), Shimizu's Ju-on (2002) and to a lesser extent even Iida's Rasen (1998).
The majority of the story is set in London. I don't understand why. The only benefit derived from the locale was a silver lining scenario: it made the ghosts seem more animated than the boring and lifeless manner in which the city was captured. The scenes set in India prove the point; it's only then that everyone, both in front of the camera and behind it, appear to remember that Hindi cinema has a rich history of stirring emotion that they should at least try and live up to. The India scenes kick the ass of everything that came before.

2½ repeat desires out of 5

White Men Can't Jump (1992)

There are a few 'sports movie' elements in WMCJ, but it's easy to make allowances for them because the real focus is Snipes and Harrelson, both basketball hustlers who team up in order to increase their earnings. There's a genuine respect for the other's talent, beneath which is a strong rivalry. When not on the court, each man also has a demanding woman to contend with.
The dialogue is excellent, as fast paced and direct as an actual basketball play. It slows a little in the last act (when the 'sports movie' parts are used) but by that stage both characters are so well-defined that it's less of a problem than it would've been had it been placed earlier in the journey.
Besides the duo, Rosie Perez is also excellent. I haven't watched many films with Snipes in, but I'm willing to bet that he didn't ever top his work here.

4 momma jokes out of 5

ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE [2015]

It's October 31st, as of this post, so naturally to coincide with consumer whores it's time to start celebrating Christmas tomorrow.  Here at The Nutshell I thought I'd get one day ahead of the whores and wipe my reindeer Nuts all over Todd Nunes' low budget X-mas slasher All Through The House.
Some crazed dude dresses up as Santa, murders people and mutilates their naughty bits with a pair of hedging shears and that's about it.
After a particularly vicious opening scene it all seems to fall into a pit of really really bad, like A Talking Cat?!? bad, only with homicidal Christmas cheer.  It doesn't really offer any real surprises other than a wild card Alice in Wonderland dress tossed in for whatever reason.  No matter how bad it gets there's just something alluringly awful about it that won't allow you to dismiss it as quick as you probably should.

2 wild wheelchair rides out of 5

KILLER LEGENDS [2014]

After stumbling upon Cropsey in his previous film, documentarian Joshua Zeman further explores other frightening urban myths in Killer Legends.
The man with the hook, the baby-sitter slaughterer, the Halloween candy killer and homicidal clowns are all under investigation here.  We get to find out their originations, what inspired them and what was inspired by them, all told with an eerie chill.  So much, that at first it feels like a cheap melodramatic Strange Mysteries reality show until they get into some really unsettling facts that are just plain creepsome.  Quite a bit of it is stuff the season horror buff will already know but it features enough little tidbits of scary info to keep it interesting and entertaining anyway.

3 towns that dreaded sundown out of 5