Primate (2025)

January is notorious for theaters dumping all the low-rated horror flicks on their schedule. This is about as basic a concept as you can get: a domesticated sign language chimp introduced into a human family unit becomes infected with rabies and goes on the offensive. The practical effects and gory kills are self-explanatory, although largely uninspired. It almost sounds as though it were scored by John Carpenter, so it has a dark menacing feel to it. If you've seen films like Link or Monkey Shines, you already know what to expect.

1½ "movie, bad" out of 5

We Bury the Dead (2025)

After an experimental weapon is detonated off the coast of Tasmania, a body retrieval unit is deployed to clean up the mess, including a woman searching for her missing husband. Unfortunately, those with unfinished business still roam the lands. It's a zombie drama that reminded me a lot of the first half of 28 Days Later, or early days on The Walking Dead, especially in its simplicity. It doesn't quite stick the landing, but it's better than most films of this type.

2½ grinding teeth out of 5

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026)

It took nearly 20 years between the release of the last two movies, and in less than a year, we've now doubled the length of the 28 Days Later series.

The survivor of the previous film has reluctantly joined a gang of Jimmys, while Dr. Kelson experiments on the infected. Nia DaCosta takes over from Danny Boyle while Alex Garland resumes screenwriting duties. What sets this apart in my mind is its trancelike, almost operatic quality. Somehow, it feels different from the rest. Ralph Fiennes makes this film especially watchable (as well as the big-dicked Samson). Unfortunately, like its predecessor, it leaves off on another big fat cliffhanger that won't be paid off until the next one... which is the one we've all been waiting for. It's a nice little tease, though.

3½ soothing sounds of Duran Duran out of 5

Note: The final film in this new 28 Years trilogy is as yet undated. Dammit.

One Last Adventure: The Making of Stranger Things 5 (2026)

A fly on the wall documentary highlighting the production of the final season of Stranger Things, which encompasses 10 years of development building up to its culmination. Combining 1980s nostalgia with the coming of age genre and Stephen King-style of horror, it became a global phenomenon to a whole new generation of kids, in the tradition of E.T., The Goonies and Stand by Me. As a fan of the show, I found it a cathartic look at saying goodbye to childhood.

3 emotional table reads out of 5

Note: There are Ups and Downs, but I'd rate the show 4 Demogorgons out of 5. 

2025: A Year in Review

Still sorting through my thoughts of 2025 and there are not many frontrunners in my mind. Here's what I got so far (subject to change in the coming weeks):

Best of 2025 (in no particular order):

Bugonia: Paranoia realized

Eddington: 2025 summed up in 2020

Eternity: How will you choose to spend it?

Friendship: Friendship is rare...

Hamnet: Shakespeare takes on the great tragedy

The Legend of Ochi: A throwback fantasy adventure

Love Me: AI takes on the concept of romance

Marty Supreme: Ping-pong for the big leagues

No Other Choice: When you've been dragged to your limit

One Battle After Another: And another, and another...

Presence: A POV ghost story

Rental Family: Loneliness, far from home

Song Sung Blue: Neil Diamond fans unite

Superman: Best superhero flick of the year

The Surfer: Suffer...Surfer...

The Life of Chuck: Currently my favorite film of the year

Honorable mentions (too many not to mention):

Americana: Coen meets Tarantino in a modern-day Western

Avatar: Fire and Ash: Yep, another one...

A Big Bold Beautiful Journey: Working through the traumas of the past

Cheech & Chong's Last Movie: Hope it's not the last we see of 'em...

Companion: Try not to spoil it for yourself

Die My Love: Romance, motherhood, mental illness; not in that order

Dracula: A Love Tale: An oft-told tale, done well

Dust Bunny: Always check underneath your bed

Exit 8: Faithful adaptation of the Japanese horror game

Frankenstein: Beauty on the outside, ironically

The Great Flood: Wash away our sins...

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You: Life is a kick in the nuts

It Was Just an Accident: Revenge is a dish...

The Long Walk: Get busy walkin' or get busy dyin'

Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning: Or is it...?

The Rule of Jenny Pen: The inmates have taken over

Sentimental Value: Reconciliation through art

The Smashing Machine: Rock, smash... our hearts

Together: Make sure you're in it for the long haul

Train Dreams: Food for thought

28 Years Later: They never left...

The Ugly Stepsister: Cinderella with a dark twist

Wake Up Dead Man: Murder in the ranks of the church

Weapons: Wicked good fun

Wicked: For Good: I know when I've been beat

The cream of the crap (mmm...nutty):

Back in Action: First POS of the year

Ebony & Ivory: So bad, it's brilliant?

Fear Street: Prom Queen: I don't even remember seeing this one

I Know What You Did Last Summer: Didn't we do this already?

Ick: Infects the brains of the viewer as well

In the Lost Lands: My poor memory is sometimes a blessing

Kinda Pregnant: Kinda mostly awful

A Merry Little Ex-Mas: Made my holidays much less bright

Now You See Me, Now You Don't: I wish I didn't

Primitive War: Jurassic Park, minus everything great about Jurassic Park

Sacramento: Insufferable pricks to the end

The Strangers: Chapter 2: We still got one more of this shit to go...

The Toxic Avenger: Just when you thought Troma couldn't sink any lower...

Troll 2: I liked the old one better

Tron: Ares: At least the neon lights are cool...

War of the Worlds: Worst film of the year and a personal affront to H. G. Wells

Note: I will be going dark for a little while, while I recharge my batteries....

-bud

(Disclosure: AI was used to generate the above banner, and that is the only time AI has ever been employed on this blog.)