Returner (2002)

In a desperate attempt to save humanity from an invading alien force, a young woman named Milly (Anne Suzuki) jumps back in time from the year 2084 to 2002, hoping to prevent the aliens from gaining ground before their war has a chance to even begin. Meanwhile, in 2002 a man named Miyamoto (Takeshi Kaneshiro) stages a personal war against a wicked Triad leader (Goro Kishitani). The two agendas are initially unconnected, but soon overlap.
The film is a combination of many different genres; although primarily science fiction, it has gun play, romance, action, comedy, and a few surprises thrown in for good measure. It has the feel of a multi-episode anime that's been condensed into a Toku-inspired movie. Not quite a jack of all trades, but not deserving of the second half of that phrase either, it's an entertaining fusion.

3 speed bursts out of 5

Straight on Till Morning (1972)

Brenda (Rita Tushingham), a working-class girl from Liverpool, breaks her mother's heart by moving to London to find a man to father her baby. She's naïve. out of her depth and eager to please; in a contemporary city setting that's a combination that's easy for socialites and psychopaths to exploit.
Rita is perfectly believable as a sheltered woman wholly unprepared for the dangers that await her - one of which is blonde-haired Peter (Shane Briant), a charming loner with a lot of free time and some emotional issues.
Artistically it has Nicolas Roeg-esque levels of cross-cutting, both visual and audio, that serve to disorientate, with an occasional sinister edge.

3½ fairy stories out of 5

Swamp Thing (1982)

Alice Cable (Adrienne Barbeau) gets helicoptered into a swamp to meet with a research team whose secretive studies involving animal and plant life take a turn for the worst. Naturally, Alice ends up in the middle of it all. Although, mostly that amounts to her running around while the anguished Swamp Thing in a veiny green rubber onesie hollers and throws guys around.
It's a cheap and cheesy 80s B-Movie with campy moments, but good fun if you're in the correct frame of mind. There are a few memorable scenes in which the creature elevates itself with some brief but eloquent sensitivity; more of those would've made it a better film overall.
NOTE: the US version is shorter than the International Cut. It's by only a few minutes, but fans of Adrienne will probably want to see the longer one.

3 natural ways out of 5

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (2016)

A CGI movie set in the world of Square Enix's Final Fantasy XV (2016) video game. It supposedly runs parallel with game events, but it's designed to also be a self-contained story, so game knowledge shouldn't be a requirement. That's good, because I’ve not played it, nor have any desire to. Although, even if I had I'm confident that my response would be much the same.
It's the usual blend of magic and technology that we (FF fans) now take for granted as being the norm. So too is the cast of bland characters doing heroic things while a tedious political story tries but fails to be interesting.
The most surprising thing about it all is a non-story creative decision by the makers: the lip-syncing is for the English language version.

2½ ring fingers out of 5

The Halas and Batchelor Short Film Collection (2015)

Best known for their adaptation of George Orwell's Animal Farm (1954), the husband and wife team of John Halas and Joy Batchelor created a huge number of animations in their lifetime. Inspired by a wide range of artistic sources, including poetry and music, their works were made primarily in traditional 2D animation, but also 3D stop motion, and more.
The pictured collection has eighteen such works, ranging from 3 to 12 mins (both approx.). There's a startling amount of variety on display, but what they each have in common is a staggering level of creativity; and you can feel the love invested in the work in every pen and brush stroke. If you're a fan of animation and haven't heard of the duo, then you're in for a treat.
My personal favourite is the video for Kraftwerk's masterpiece, Autobahn.

4 future cars out of 5

The Dark Tower (2017)

The official film adaptation of Stephen King's fantasy western is a disaster. Beginning with Jake (Tom Taylor) in NY, it draws from more than just the first book. The boy is having dreams about the Tower that include the Man in Black; but revealing the primary antagonist so early robs him of any and all mystery - he's a man who ought to be partially defined by his elusiveness. But that's only the beginning of the film's failings; there are many, many more.

Idris Elba is weak as Roland Deschain, the book's famous gunslinger. The world in which he exists, Mid-World, gets minimal characterisation, as do its peoples. There's no allure, no sense of history, and no understanding of the series rich lore. It barely even qualifies as a western; it has more in common with sci-fi.

The filmmakers claim it's canonical; I've read all eight of the books and can understand why they think that, but it doesn't deserve to be perceived as such.

1½ skin masks out of 5

Demons of the Mind (1972)

A widowed Baron (Robert Hardy) keeps his daughter Elizabeth (Gillian Hills) locked and sedated in her room, fearing for her sanity. In the same house is the pale, skinny-legged Emil (Shane Briant). whose feelings for Elizabeth cause much anguish for everyone. The already strained situation goes from bad to worse when a discredited doctor (Patrick Magee) gets involved.
It's a story of insanity and incest from HAMMER Studios that at best is like a Poe-esque tragedy with a dark cautionary fairy-tale vibe, and at worst a silly and confused attempt at delivering something psychologically sophisticated - the latter being the 'demons' of the title, as opposed to the supernatural kind.

2½ blood impulses out of 5

Bucktown (1975)

As he arrives in Bucktown to attend a funeral, Duke Johnson (Fred Williamson) witnesses an unknown black man getting beat upon by white police officers. It's a sign of things to come, because when Duke tries to go about his business he too has to contend with the corruption and racism that's rife in the town. Not one to back down, with the help of some old friends Duke fights back.
The violent methods used by the retaliatory force doesn't engender sympathy for their cause, it seems like the wronged party is as bad as the group that it fights against, but happily that's something that the script recognises.
As Blaxploitation flicks go, it does the job well-enough, and it doesn't hurt that it boasts Williamson and Pam Grier playing side by side.

3 double standards out of 5

Tulips Shall Grow (1942)

Although uncredited at the time, Tulips is Ray Harryhausen's first commercial work as chief animator. It’s set in what appears to be Holland. In a beautiful village with idyllic windmills, a pair of lovers, Jan and Janette, fear for their lives when an invading military force known as The Screwballs move in.
The aggressors resemblance to Nazi soldiers is certainly no coincidence, given that Dir. George Pal had previously lived in Holland and, furthermore, left his home (in Prague) to escape their rise to power.
The simple animation gets more adventurous and complicated as the danger level increases, but thanks to Harryhausen it's always astonishing.

4 high kicks out of 5

The Plague of the Zombies (1966)

After receiving a peculiar letter from his one-time student, Sir James Forbes (André Morell) travels to a Cornish village to get the lowdown on what it meant. The last thing he expected was to hear tales of restless dead walking the moors, but in horror films you often get what you least expect.
It's a zombie movie from Hammer that's a little formulaic, with the educated older gent leading the investigation alongside a younger, less experienced aide. It's no Night of the Living Dead (1968), but it's engaging in its own way, with the majority of the cast well-suited to their respective roles.

3 doll-size coffins of 5

Seraphim Falls (2006)

An unceasing Liam Neeson and a small hired posse hunt a lone Pierce Brosnan across a changing terrain. We're not told early on which of the two men has the higher moral ground, or the most lawful position, etc, or if indeed either of them has, but the reasons for why things are happening being drip-fed to the viewer throughout only serves to heighten the realism of the hunt.
Before watching Seraphim Falls, if someone mentioned Brosnan I'd have pictured him as James Bond, Not anymore. Henceforth he'll be as he is herein, bearded, with superb survival skills and a bucketful of courage.
It might sound silly, but much of the film's final act felt to me like it could be happening within Stephen King's The Dark Tower books.

4 curatives out of 5

Infernal Affairs III (2003)

Serving as both a sequel and a prequel (of sorts) to the first film, Part III brings back Tony Leung and Andy Lau to their respective roles, which makes all the difference for a short while. (It jumps around in time quite a bit, but it's simple enough to follow if you're familiar enough with Part I.) But as the story goes on it becomes clear that very little of it is worth learning about; and some parts of it are so contrived as to be just plain bad. Ultimately, the extra info about certain events will no doubt please a percentage of viewers, for me it's an unnecessary and overlong addition to the first film's taught story.

2½ couch sleeps out of 5

Infernal Affairs II (2003)

Prequels are rarely as good as the story they precede. Case in point: the first IA film is a class act, but its prequel (Part II) definitely isn't. The first time I attempted to watch it I turned it off before the halfway mark. The second time, I fell asleep about 50 minutes in. Having since endured everything it has to offer, I feel that it's severely lacking in thrills or charm. There's a notable action scene around that halfway mark, but the rest if it is woefully dull.
The original story's two moles are now played by younger actors, which is an Achilles heel in itself. but the script, covering each man's rise from rookie to their previously/eventual established positions, is largely forgettable.

2 handovers out of 5

W.A.S.P. - Reidolized (2018)

Full title, Reidolized (The Soundtrack to The Crimson Idol), is a sixty-minute 'film' that accompanied W.A.S.P.'s re-recording of their fifth studio album, The Crimson Idol, which was originally released back in 1992.
Directed by Ralph Ziman, the 'film' is the album's songs with occasional v/o narration; i.e parts of The Story of Jonathan (Prologue to the Crimson Idol), included on the 1998 remaster of the 1992 concept album. It's basically an extended music video that got made and shelved back in the day. As such, it's the original track listing, with none of the 'lost' tracks on the re-recording.
If you've not already guessed, it's primarily something for W.A.S.P. fans, and will have very limited appeal outside of that demographic.

2½ industry teeth out of 5

The Reptile (1966)

Harry (Ray Barrett) inherits a cottage in Cornwall, into which he promptly moves. While investigating the cause of his brother's death, he uncovers mysterious happenings that have the townsfolk spooked and silent; it seems they have something to hide. And perhaps they aren't the only ones.
You're not likely to find it on many best of Hammer lists, but overall The Reptile is a decent slice of period horror, with enough intrigue, dramatic moments and dialogues amid the occasional silliness to keep fans happy.
Perhaps best of all was seeing Hammer regular Michael Ripper in such a sizeable role; they ought to have given him more to do in their oeuvre.

2½ swellings out of 5