Penny Dreadful (2006)

Foregoing the true nature of the title, the film centers around Penny Deerborn (Rachel Miner), a fragile soul consumed by amaxophobia (the fear of riding in a car). While on a retreat to face her fear, her therapist (Mimi Rogers) picks up the wrong hitchhiker. Penny Dreadful is absolutely dripping with horror movie cliches, but instead of adding any kind of nostalgic flair, they instead hinder the film. Every time a character inexplicably trips and falls or a car engine stalls, you can feel the boiling ire from within. There really aren't any standout performances here. Miner is satisfactory as the 'final girl' who eventually fights back in the final few scenes, and the hitchhiker is as run-of-the-mill as it gets. The minimalist cast is balanced out by cannon fodder character actors who simply add to the body count. The concept of an amaxophobic fighting for her life within the very object she fears is sound, but in the long run it added almost no depth to the experience. 

1½ suicide attempts out of 5

Wedlock (1991)

aka Deadlock

At an undefined point ‘in the future’ Rutger Hauer’s luck goes unexpectedly sour. He’s placed in a penal colony where every inmate is fitted with an exploding, electronic collar that triggers if they wander outside of a painted border line. Cross the line = head goes boom.
What unfolds is predicable, light sci-fi stuff. I felt like I’d seen it before even though I hadn't. The prisoners are clichés and the twists and turns are totally transparent. But it’s not terrible and if you enjoy watching Rutger then it’s even enjoyable in places; he gets some caustic lines that raise a chuckle. It’s as if it set out to be average and achieved it.

2½ colourful names out of 5

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

Austin’s first flirtatious outing is an effective slice of James Bond parody and irreverent comedy sketches that never feel like they’re separate from the larger whole, but it’s dragged down by one thing: Liz Hurley. She sure looks good in clothes, but as an actress she’s worse than useless. It's Mike Myers as the paradoxically auspicious Austin that holds the attention and keeps the laughs coming.

3 conveniently placed objects out of 5

Ginger Snaps (2000)

Director John Fawcett avoided almost all the hateful teen horror movie clichés that existed when Ginger Snaps was released. He brought something fresh to a genre that was content to churn out shit wank-fantasy like The Craft (1996) year after year.
The two girls are tailor made for their roles, particularly the brooding younger sister Brigitte (Emily Perkins). They may not look very much alike but they act like sisters should.
The film is heavy with metaphor in the first half, then erupts with some Sam Raimi inspired terror in the finale. And there's no cheap CGI in sight.

3½ moon hairs out of 5