Oh Sweet Zombie Jesus! What the fuck was that?
Inspired the roleplaying game Dungeons & Dragons, this shitfest meanders along feeling the need to let the characters explain every single action that happens on screen like it's a 3 year old watching.
I get the feeling the director and writer merely flipped through a Dungeon Master's manual when it came to research for this film. Jeremy Irons looks painfully embarrassed and rushes through his lines likes he's racing towards the paycheck. The characters are so terribly miscast, particularly Marlon Wayans who makes Eddie Murphy in Mulan look like Confucius.
Fuck this movie.
½ a Magic Missile to the brain out of 5
3 comments:
The half point seemed generous. You didn't even mention the shitty CGI, Thora Birch's crap performance or Whalin's various stupid shit.
0 Gygax murdered a gimp over this out of 5
Actually, it's even worse: The director was a D&D player who convinced WOTC, then owners of the D&D license, to let him adapt his RPG campaign for the big screen.
0 tentacles out of your ears out of 5.
You really watched it. You have my empathy. And I laughed at your misery. I was expecting Marceline's suggestion of a 'Worse Than Pluto Nash' label to get its first use on D&D.
0 never ever again out of 5
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