I, Frankenstein (2014)

In the same frame as such PG fantasy/horror films as Twilight or Red Riding Hood comes I, Frankenstein, yet another retelling of the classic story, this time placing the monster in the middle of a war between gargoyles and demons. The plot (and everything else for that matter) is infantile and shallow. Aaron Eckhart plays the creature, renamed Adam by the queen of the gargoyles. As a one-liner spouting, over-choreographed, philosophy-waxing clod he tracks down the one and only positive note in this production and  the root of the war, Demon Prince Nebarius (Bill Nighy). Nighy's cheeky composure spits in the face of the over-serious acting and inane dialogue. Filled to the brim with CG, the overdone action sequences are cartoonish and silly. This movie belongs in a crib.

1½ re-animated rodents out of 5

Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)

I sincerely hope that in an alternate reality Matt Frewer is getting the breaks he deserves and has an agent to keep him in the roles he's perfect for, because in our reality his unique aura is often wasted by being cast in crap like LM 2, in which he plays an unhusked Jobe. It's best not to dwell on that odd turn of events, or indeed anything else, because it's a shambolic, unnecessary sequel to a film that really didn't need one. Beyond Cyberspace? Beyond Ridiculous would've been more apt.

1 obsolete system out of 5

Tammy (2014)

The husband & wife duo of Ben Falcone and Melissa McCarthy bring us the story of one Tammy, a deeply immature and uncultured woman. At the crossroads of her life, she makes a hard left turn into debauchery and degradation. Much like McCarthy's previous comedies, the humor is at times crass and the acting forced. Many scenes deserve trimming for the lingering improvisation. The characters are well fleshed out and quite specific. McCarthy is reminiscent of Chris Farley at his best in her role of the overzealous yet lovable Tammy. A surprisingly strong supporting cast (Susan Sarandon, Kathy Bates, Gary Cole, Allison Janney) slightly elevate the simple plot, but only enough for a handful of truly comedic moments.

2½ viking burials out of 5

The Lawnmower Man (1992)

Kick a dog enough times and it’ll eventually turn and bite you in the ass and you’ll deserve it. Jobe is like that dog. Born with learning difficulties, he’s a simple man who enjoys simple pleasures. Science can change what nature gave him. Commerce can shaft him in every other way.
TLM is sci-fi that’s very much a product of its time, despite stealing a large portion of its premise from an older Daniel Keyes story. As such, even though the CGI is dated it’s not a problem within the context. What's more problematic is how the sympathy cultivated in the first half isn't maintained well enough in the second half, so by the end it’s difficult to care if anyone survives the threat. It's flawed but I enjoy it regardless.

2½ cold calls out of 5

In Fear (2013)

An appropriate title as the film deals more in creepy atmosphere suspended by beautiful cinematography than actual substance. Recently acquainted Tom and Lucy make a romantic detour on their trip to meet friends at a festival. Through a series of wrong turns and strange occurrences they find themselves lost. In this minimalist affair only three characters are ever introduced. The third, Max (Allen Leech) adds the final dose of suspense as he treads the line of disturbed victim/psychotic thrill-seeker. Much of the film saunters about adrift but even in the third act it lost my attention at points. While lacking originality, it does stand above many in its genre with its effectively dreadful ambiance.

2½ spilled pints out of 5

BUtterfield 8 (1960)

BUtterfield [sic] strives to be a serious and affecting adult drama but the romance side of the story is weak and sluggish. Liz looks bored and oppressed, only really springing to life in scenes wherein she's paired with Eddie Fisher. Laurence Harvey looks the part but doesn't excite as a leading man. If you harnessed the electricity between them it wouldn't even power an LED. The saving grace is the sarcastic comedy that surfaces when there's more than one woman onscreen; at those times, as each tries to gain the upper hand, the dialogue sharpens and puts the rest to shame.

2½ elegantly spiteful bitches out of 5

The House That Dripped Blood (1971)

Despite the gruesome title, this anthology horror film surrounding a succession of doomed tenants in the titular abode does not contain one drop of blood. But the lack of gore is not a hindrance as the renowned cast (Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Denholm Elliott, Ingrid Pitt) serve up a film full of atmosphere, intrigue and dismay. Psycho's Robert Bloch penned the script and his devious nature is found in each segment's twist. I found the score by Michael Dress to be a real standout component. Not just a background compliment to each scene, but a guide leading each character towards their ill-fates. While some may find the title misleading and the visuals dated, this classic contains enough of the macabre to keep any horror aficionado happy.

3½ head is a dish best served cold out of 5

Kate Bush: The Whole Story (1987)

The Whole Story is a collection of thirteen promo videos from the first five Kate Bush albums. You can view the kooky dancing as a thing of choreographed beauty or as the movements of a madwoman let loose with a video camera. I’m firmly in the former camp. Like her previous release, The Single File (1983), TWS is currently unavailable on dvd or blu, so either seek out a second-hand VHS or Japanese Laserdisc copy, or as before go to Wiki, get the song list, then go to youtube and make a playlist. The last I checked, the Official Kate Bush channel had them all in good quality.

5 Irish fairy tales out of 5

Wilder (2000)

aka Slow Burn

Pam Grier plays a single mom who’s also a Chicago detective, firm but loving towards her kids, tough and uncompromising on the job. When a case involving a dead woman in a suitcase ruins her day she takes aspects from many of her previous roles and rolls them together into something less than the sum of its parts while trying to solve it.
The script attempts a balance of seriousness and light heartened comedy that doesn't quite succeed, but at least it gives the film some kind of identity. The editor tries to spice it up further but the choice of musical accompaniment undoes most of the hard work.

2 overcompensations out of 5

XXY (2007)

Small coastal towns are arguably an overused setting for the kind of drama that deals with family secrets, but in this instance it’s very apt. The vast differences in the mating habits of sea creatures provide a contrast for their land-based counterpart, in a place where we’re defined from a young age by our gender. What then of Alex, age fifteen, hermaphrodite?
XXY is an uncompromising study of a youth on the fringes of society. It’s a coming of age story for Alex (Inés Efron), but it’s also the story of a father who wants the best for his child while living with a problem that he doesn't understand. But maybe it’s only a problem if you turn it into one?

3½ migrations out of 5

City of God (2002)

A powerful Brazilian drama directed by Fernando Meirelles and Kátia Lund that's set in a poor, crime-ridden suburb of Rio de Janeiro. It’s told primarily as flashback, with style and substance on equal footing, illuminated with the kind of natural light that money can’t buy.
The city is a place wherein good friends and a gun can help you get by. A plan can get you further but could just as easily get you killed. Rocket has the latter, but even that isn't a guaranteed ticket out of the slum.
The V/O is from one character but it tells the story of many, each of the small cogs that help the larger cogs turn. The feeling that the City of God is as much a victim as the individuals that inhabit it is ever present.

5 lucky shots out of 5

Jukkalan (2011)

aka This Girl Is Bad-Ass

A Thai action/comedy starring the very agile JeeJa Yanin as a love-struck bicycle courier who carries packages for the local mobsters. Almost everyone else is love-struck too, which gives rise to hijinks that are hit and miss. Some of the insults were creative. At least they were to a westerner like me. They may well be commonplace in Thailand.
The stunts, often either on bikes or involving bikes, are as frenetic as you’d expect considering the pedigree of talent involved.

2½ face failures out of 5

Stray Cat Rock: Delinquent Girl Boss (1970)

A group of street-savvy women, really just chicks with knives and razor blades, fight for a purpose when a sukeban rides into town and provides guidance. It's interesting seeing the traditional roles of the sexes reversed, and exploring how rules are applied and disregarded in the contrasting arenas of the street and the boxing ring, but ultimately DGB is 80+ minutes of style over substance played out to a soundtrack of funky jazz and psychedelic rock.
If Dir. Hasebe had further indulged his willingness to explore a film frame’s role in the telling of a story then things might've been better.

2½ dizzying traffic violations out of 5

Pietà (2012)

I can’t recall the last time I felt such vehement hatred for a main character as I did for Gang-Do (Jung-Jin Lee). He's a deplorable, detestable shit-bag money collector for a loan shark. The realism that Dir. Kim Ki-duk strives for makes the actions that Gang-Do takes all the more affecting. If his attitude wasn't already in stark enough relief, when a woman approaches him and claims to be his mother it becomes even clearer.
The film explores many things, among them whether or not being judged or having someone around to make proud will cause us to act differently (essentially nature Vs nurture). It’s an intense journey that shocks and offends repeatedly, so be warned. Both leads rise to the challenge of their role superbly and deserve the maximum praise I can conceivably give.

5 things that shape things out of 5

Main Hoon Na (2004)

Amid a political situation between Pakistan and India, Major Ram Sharma (Shah Rukh Khan) goes back to college for a short academic term, but not before a hilariously entertaining scene that has Dir. Farah Khan become the Bollywood John Woo for a time. In fact, she steals from all over the spectrum—sometimes even shot for shot—but it’s so obvious that it’s surely homage, because there’s no doubt that elsewhere she knows exactly what she’s doing. She crams in a lot of content alongside the action, including comedy (that chase scene!), tragedy, romance and a teacher who looks to be permanently in a Pantene advert, but never once forgets to remind us that the small things in life are some of the most important of all.

3½ sleeveless, knitted pullovers out of 5