I, Frankenstein (2014)

In the same frame as such PG fantasy/horror films as Twilight or Red Riding Hood comes I, Frankenstein, yet another retelling of the classic story, this time placing the monster in the middle of a war between gargoyles and demons. The plot (and everything else for that matter) is infantile and shallow. Aaron Eckhart plays the creature, renamed Adam by the queen of the gargoyles. As a one-liner spouting, over-choreographed, philosophy-waxing clod he tracks down the one and only positive note in this production and  the root of the war, Demon Prince Nebarius (Bill Nighy). Nighy's cheeky composure spits in the face of the over-serious acting and inane dialogue. Filled to the brim with CG, the overdone action sequences are cartoonish and silly. This movie belongs in a crib.

1½ re-animated rodents out of 5

KILLER ELITE [2011]

When I first saw that Jason Statham and Clive Owen had done a film together I dookied in my pants a little...seeing that DeNiro was in it as well confirmed that dookie.
It's violent, filled with plot holes, it's violent, filled with magically healing wounds, it's violent, not particularly original and it's violent.
I loved it.
Seeing Statham and Owen duke it out something fierce, definitely takes the cake from Fast Five's Vin Diesel and Rock as 2011's ultimate showdown. DeNiro gets into the action himself which is an absolute squeal-worthy delight.
It's unpredictable enough to keep you entertained till the end and the enticing performances hold your interest during the non-action scenes. If you're an action-buff who likes to see it done right, then this is it served to you on a silver platter.

3 ½ Funny British Guy Curses out of 5