Saw X (2023)

Easily the best Saw film since the original. By this point, they realized the best path forward was to go back into the past. Set in between the events of Saw and Saw II, we focus on John Kramer's recent cancer diagnosis as he attempts to undergo a life-saving surgical procedure. This one is mostly successful because it doesn't resemble the rest of the sequels in any way and instead puts us in the shoes of the series villain. It helps when you're on his side and want to see the rest of these people get punished, too.

Given the success of this latest revival, a sequel has been greenlit, so it looks like Tobin Bell will be doing this till he's 90.

3 medical scams out of 5

Spiral (2021)

AKA: Spiral: From the Book of Saw

Chris Rock heads a second effort to breathe new life into the withered Saw series. The result feels slicker, with a bit of dark humor injected, although it takes on more of a straight procedural format. While it does a good job at emulating the gritty tone of the earlier films, the audience has already been down this path one too many times before, so it doesn't offer much to differentiate it from the pack. Plans for a direct sequel were quickly discarded and they went back to the drawing board.

2 familiar tattoos out of 5

Jigsaw (2017)

An attempt to jumpstart the Saw franchise after the previous installment claimed to be the final chapter (fool me once...). This time a copycat is going around following the same M.O. as the Jigsaw killer, prompting police to wonder if John Kramer is still alive (despite seemingly meeting his end all the way back in Saw III). There is more death and dismemberment abound, which is the cream and crop of this series, but apart from some clever audience manipulation, it feels all-too-familiar. A couple of twists make it worth watching for Saw completists, even though this is a far cry from the best of the series.

2 barn games out of 5

SAW 3D aka SAW VII [2010]

What's the best way to end a series? Usually you go right back to the beginning and finish it off with an unbelievable ending. Saw 3D sort of does that.
Cary Elwes makes a welcome return, in a bit part, reprising his role from the first film. Besides that, it's business as usual and we're forced to watch people we don't know or care about get their eyes gouged out or get roasted like pigs.
This film has flashes of brilliance and floodlights of shittiness. It almost works but sadly doesn't quite click until the final 20 minutes. For the most part we follow a group of characters introduced for this film and are left not really caring. If this was the last film, it should of focused only on the established characters we all ready know.
Oh well. It is watchable and caps things off really well for the most part but it's just a little boring for a grand finale.
Good riddance.

A very weak 3 Linkin Parks? out of 5

SAW VI [2009]

What can I say?
I'm honestly running out of anything to say about this series. Good or bad.
Nice to see Canadian actor Peter Outerbridge again.
I have noticed these films so far might have benefitted from being compacted into 3 films. There's bits and pieces of interesting backstory, but it's spread out so far across aimless boring shit it loses most of it's impact.
The final 60 seconds was really cool though. Gives me hope for the last film.
With that, I can only hope the final installment redeems itself in some way or at least bows out with grace.

2 Hilariously sadistic merry go-rounds out of 5

SAW V [2008]

I yawned. I scratched my butt. Got up a couple of times to get a cup of tea....and like the inevitably doomed victims in this film, I figured I got this far, may as well keep going till the end.
Nice to see Dexter/Buffy/Angel vet, Julie Benz show up as well as Canadain chef/actor Carlos Rota in a bit part.
These are Canadian movies at the root, so I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised to see so many Canadians show up in this shit.
The final trap and Poe inspired introduction scene had me cringing but that's about it.
Ho hum...let's keep moving.

2 Nail Bombs out of 5

SAW IV [2007]

I was ready to call it quits with the idea of torturing myself with a marathon of this stupid franchise. Then this film came along as a mediocre pleasant surprise.
It dug a little deeper into Jigsaw's past and gave his character more of a purpose and dimension. It took it's death traps a little more seriously, remained undpredictable from start to finish and suceeded in putting me at the edge of my seat a few times. There was some wonderful lighting and camera work here that the last 2 films were severly lacking. It wasn't as good as the first one but was a couple light years better than the last two efforts.

2 ½ ice blocks out of 5

SAW III [2006]

What a colossal waste of time.

So-so ending. The rest is juvenille, shallow and lacking any sort of substance. For a film that uses death scenes as it's only selling point it fails completely. One death scene was a might bit interesting and the rest were boring and uninspired. It's like some kid came up with them on an internet forum...and upon investigation, that's exactly what the writers did. They used fanboy's fanfic ideas. Wow. Just wow. Fuck this shit.

1 ___ out of 5

SAW II [2005]

The sequel to the torture porn franchise, SAW, ends with another impressive "didn't see that coming" ending.
Unfortunately that's about it.
The rest of the film seems like it was bullshit piled on top of this golden ending. Almost as if the writers came up with this brilliant finale and just needed something to fill up the space.
The acting is a little better this time around but the script and the direction is so horribly juvenile and unevenly paced. The first film had a twist-filled plot driving the story, while this one just had ridiculously forced violence you and your friends could come up shit-shooting on a forum in one night. :p
2 down, 5 to go. Fuck.

1 ½ New Kids On The Block out of 5

SAW [2004]

The first time I saw this film my jaw dropped to the ground and my pants filled with the good stuff at the end of the movie. It was simply quite insane.
As for the rest of the film?
The idea, the scene set-ups and the narrative were actually quite good, enthralling and filled with the necessary tension.
The acting, dialogue and direction were mind-numbingly terrible and for that I have to knock it down a star. Which is a shame because the idea itself is quite brilliant and deserves to be standing next to other classic twisted thrillers like Se7en.
An effective little thriller that could have been so much better with a couple tweaks here and there. Worth watching if you're looking for a sick, fun night in.

3½ reverse bear traps out of 5