FIST OF THE NORTH STAR [1995]

Hellraiser II director, Tony Randel brings the popular manga Fist Of The North Star to the screen and it stinks.

With some hokey but fun gory effects and some low-budget yet interesting sets, Fist was obviously made with some genuine love for the source material but that love got lost somewhere during the production. The painfully annoying characters spurt out loads of flat dialogue, the editing is completely nonsensical and the story is so predictable you'd think it was a Saturday morning cartoon.

Christ. *shakes head*

1 "mullets...so many mullets" out of 5

SAW 3D aka SAW VII [2010]

What's the best way to end a series? Usually you go right back to the beginning and finish it off with an unbelievable ending. Saw 3D sort of does that.
Cary Elwes makes a welcome return, in a bit part, reprising his role from the first film. Besides that, it's business as usual and we're forced to watch people we don't know or care about get their eyes gouged out or get roasted like pigs.
This film has flashes of brilliance and floodlights of shittiness. It almost works but sadly doesn't quite click until the final 20 minutes. For the most part we follow a group of characters introduced for this film and are left not really caring. If this was the last film, it should of focused only on the established characters we all ready know.
Oh well. It is watchable and caps things off really well for the most part but it's just a little boring for a grand finale.
Good riddance.

A very weak 3 Linkin Parks? out of 5

SAW V [2008]

I yawned. I scratched my butt. Got up a couple of times to get a cup of tea....and like the inevitably doomed victims in this film, I figured I got this far, may as well keep going till the end.
Nice to see Dexter/Buffy/Angel vet, Julie Benz show up as well as Canadain chef/actor Carlos Rota in a bit part.
These are Canadian movies at the root, so I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised to see so many Canadians show up in this shit.
The final trap and Poe inspired introduction scene had me cringing but that's about it.
Ho hum...let's keep moving.

2 Nail Bombs out of 5

SAW IV [2007]

I was ready to call it quits with the idea of torturing myself with a marathon of this stupid franchise. Then this film came along as a mediocre pleasant surprise.
It dug a little deeper into Jigsaw's past and gave his character more of a purpose and dimension. It took it's death traps a little more seriously, remained undpredictable from start to finish and suceeded in putting me at the edge of my seat a few times. There was some wonderful lighting and camera work here that the last 2 films were severly lacking. It wasn't as good as the first one but was a couple light years better than the last two efforts.

2 ½ ice blocks out of 5