Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)

What's the best way to beat the cold and avoid mutant killer snowmen? Spend Christmas at a tropical resort in the Bahamas. Even this one stretches the limits of credulity from its ridiculous concept. It's almost like the I Still Know What You Did Last Summer of the Jack Frost series, except so much dumber. Now the creatures have multiplied, and it takes on kind of a Tremors feel. It really leans into the silliness and absurdity, so you have to be in the right mood for it.

A third film was planned, but scrapped after actor Christopher Allport passed.

3 ice anvils out of 5

Jack Frost (1997)

On his way to be executed, a serial killer's transport crashes into a genetic research truck, where his mutated DNA merges with the water molecules and he becomes a killer snowman able to reconstitute at will, all while swearing revenge on the small-time sheriff who caught him. You know exactly what you're getting with this over-the-top horror-comedy; ridiculous kills and cheesy one-liners. It shares a similar DNA to the Chucky movies, except the immortal soul has been trapped in ice and snow, so he's rendered unkillable.

I remember seeing this on video when it first came out. I was the perfect age for it. It remains one of the underrated gems of the season and a cult classic.

3½ snow balls out of 5

Note: Not to be confused with Jack Frost (1998) starring Michael Keaton.

Jay Kelly (2025)

Clooney plays a successful actor (wink wink) going through an existential crisis, who takes an impromptu trip to Europe, while his entourage follows him wherever he goes. It's a very "inside baseball" look at the entertainment industry, occasionally meandering and self-indulgent, but performances are strong and it's easy to get caught up in the glitz. It didn't quite work its magic on me, but it's a solid effort and an examination of a life lived good enough.

3 slices of cheesecake out of 5

Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)

Joe works a soul-crushing job and feels like death all the time. He goes to the doctor who tells him he only has 6 months left to live. What will he do with his remaining time? Travel to the South Pacific and throw himself into a volcano, of course. That's the setup. It's up to you if you want to follow him there. This is a wonderfully whimsical fantasy adventure and one of my favorite films.

4½ floatable luggage out of 5

Jim Henson: Idea Man (2024)

A retrospective on the life of Jim Henson, chronicling his rise as a filmmaker and puppeteer to the creation of his Muppets and Sesame Street all the way to The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. A lot of focus is spent on his wife, Jane, who helped to support him throughout. I found it enjoyable, but as an overview, it merely scratches the surface and doesn't quite capture the full spectrum of Henson's life and career. It focuses a lot on the early years and glosses over the latter period. I would have liked to see it go even deeper, but it functions well as a primer to the man and his legendary career. In particular, all of the behind-the-scenes footage of Jim and Frank Oz ad-libbing is gold. (That was always one of my favorite special features on The Muppet Movie DVD.)

3 ping pong balls out of 5

Mafia! (1998)

AKA: Jane Austen's Mafia!

The Godfather films were ripe for parody, and there was none better to come along and skewer it than Jim Abrahams (of ZAZ), in what would become his final film. Weaving The Godfather Part II and Casino into its pastiche, the plot is little more than skin deep...but it's funny, god damn it. Severely underrated and overlooked at the time of its release for seeming stale and outdated, and yet, everything is relative; after watching a string of bad spoof films, this sticks out like a diamond in shit. And yes, it's still better than The Godfather Part III.

3 wishes on a falling star out of 5

Jaws @ 50: The Definitive Inside Story (2025)

Wait...what happened to Jaws 5-49?

A retrospective on the original summer blockbuster that started it all, in commemoration of its 50th anniversary. It explores the film's rushed and infamously troubled production, as it was optioned back in 1973 and quickly came together over the summer of '74 when the studio took a chance on a promising young filmmaker that paid off in spades. It's a bit rudimentary and uneven, balancing behind-the-scenes footage with newly filmed interviews from Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, James Cameron (et al) and the family of Peter Benchley, interspersed with facts demystifying the great white shark (courtesy of National Geographic), as well as the legacy it still holds today.

2½ mechanical failures out of 5

Note: For an even more in-depth and comprehensive look back at the film, check out The Making of Jaws (1995), a two-hour documentary featured on all the LaserDisc/DVD/Blu-Ray/4K releases, also directed by Laurent Bouzereau.

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

(Say what you will about these movies, but they had the best taglines.)

They gave it the old college try and took one last stab at it, and mostly did enough to remove the bad taste left in our mouths from its predecessor. This time we focus on Brody's surviving family following his implied death and completely ignores the events of part 3, as they become convinced that the shark harbors a personal vendetta against them. It attempts to be earnest for the most part, but it's unraveled by the sheer stupidity and lack of satisfying resolution. This was pretty much the final nail in the coffin for ol' Bruce.

While the sea long lies dormant for this franchise, the barrage of cheap, blatant killer shark rip-offs continues to this very day, unfortunately.

2 roaring sharks out of 5

Note: This is one of the very rare cases where the TV version contains a better edit of the film, along with the original uncut ending, whereas the only version currently available for viewing has the ridiculous truncated version. Look it up on YouTube if you're curious.

Jaws 3-D (1983)

Anaglyph 3D was all the rage in the 1950s and had a brief resurgence in the '80s with some memorable titles like Friday the 13th 3D and Amityville 3-D, which always suggested a better time than it was actually able to deliver. 

In a complete departure from the first two films, it focuses on Brody's kids, who now work at a SeaWorld marine park, where a great white makes its way in through the gates and terrorizes the parkgoers. There is approximately one scene in this movie that remains completely memorable (and makes cheesy use of its 3D novelty), but the rest is pretty hokey and can safely be skipped when going through a rewatch of the series.

1 underwater tunnel out of 5

Jaws 2 (1978)

Four years after the events of Jaws, Chief Brody has PTSD and evidence of a new shark attack has made its way to Amity Island, to everyone's skepticism. You'd think those ungrateful assholes would believe poor Brody by now.

Roy Scheider reluctantly returns in this cash-in sequel that Steven Spielberg completely removed his name from, which manages to take all the terror and adventure out of the original and distill it down to a lifeless cycle of shark, kill, repeat. It emulates enough of the original that it's still watchable, but it's basically a retread in every way. It turns out lightning couldn't strike twice.

2½ power cables out of 5

Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025)

These motherfuckers just can't leave well enough alone. A mere decade ago, this series was rebooted, and now Scarlett Johansson has been handed the keys to the kingdom in this new standalone reboot of the Jurassic brand, distancing itself from the other films. Set five years after Dominion, most of the dinosaurs have perished due to inhospitable conditions, but the rest have migrated to warmer climates near the equator. Cue the mercenaries who are tasked with traveling there to retrieve blood samples that will aid in life-saving medical research (they couldn't have thought of this before?).

Godzilla director Gareth Edwards fits right at home with this kind of kaiju material. The dinosaurs look realistic and weighty again, and it's even shot on film. It feels smaller and more intimate than the other sequels; you actually care about these characters and there are stakes at risk. There's even a new variant species introduced, because apparently regular dinosaurs just aren't scary enough anymore. While it doesn't reinvent the wheel, it's a real return to form for this series, and does a decent enough job for what it has to offer.

3 mutations out of 5

Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)

"Jurassic World? Not a fan." -Dr. Ian Malcolm

Four years after the last catastrophe, dinosaurs and humans now co-exist. Sadly, all the wonder of this world seems to be missing now. Dinosaurs have become commonplace. Poaching is a thing, as well as black market dealings. The dinosaurs no longer seem as threatening as before, and conveniently always target the baddies. This is one of those movies that gradually wears out its welcome and becomes less enjoyable as it goes on. Ironically, it's the overexposure that saps its novelty. It no longer feels special anymore.

Then again, they got Sam Neill, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum to reunite for the first time since 1993, so what more could you ask? They have a diminished role in this—the last of the Chris Pratt trilogy of Jurassic World films—yet remain the only bright spot that bring any humanity to the proceedings.

This was originally billed as the "epic conclusion of the Jurassic era." But fear not...the dinosaurs will continue to roam the earth. Life, uh, finds a way.

2½ flaming locusts out of 5

Note: Having seen both the theatrical and extended editions, the extended is the superior option, although it adds 14 more minutes to this lumbering entry.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

Time has passed since the park was rebooted and the dinosaurs have made it their home. A volcano is set to erupt on Isla Nubar and the animal activists (and shareholders) want to save the dinos, despite scientists like Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) warning for nature to take its course and get rid of the unholy abominations once and for all. And so back we go, into the belly of the beast...

These movies aren't rocket science. What you're going to get is nature turning on man, once more. It does enough right that it's passable, popcorn-munching entertainment, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to like it.

2½ clones out of 5

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

The concluding chapter of the John Wick saga (or is it?), though the door seems open to return in the future. Donnie Yen joins the cast as the blind assassin who proves to be the biggest thorn in Wick's side. Let's just say the charm of these films is beginning to wear thin and they chose the right time to close out the chapter, but they manage to do so in magnanimous fashion.

Similar to the Mission: Impossible series, these movies continue to grow and grow. This one is just shy of 3 hours. A 3-hour action flick is really hard to pull off well because you somehow have to engage and sustain interest even though the plot remains skin deep. One of the best scenes comes in the third hour, in the form of a top-down isometric video game angle, but that's only one example. There is a lot of skill involved behind the camera and that's what manages to push it from a mediocre concept into a great magic trick. Most importantly, Keanu looks cool as fuck doing it, and that's all it boils down to in the end. Tom Cruise and Keanu Reeves appear to be the last of the Hollywood superstars who still do their own stunts, and both franchises go out on top.

3½ flights of stairs out of 5

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)

Picking up sheer moments after Chapter 2's thrilling cliffhanger, the Baba Yaga essentially prepares to wage war against the world. The first 20 minutes or so stand head and shoulders above anything else in the franchise and I almost wish it could have sustained that breakneck intensity throughout. A lot of it is ridiculousness in service of abiding by "rules" that are set in place by invisible forces. What you're signing up for here is impressively choreographed gun fu sequences with lots of neon colors, pulsing tunes and a shitload of violence, and it delivers as advertised. It's shallow, mindless action, but it looks good doing it. Lest we not forget, this is a series that all began with the murder of a puppy, and there are still loose ends to tie up. It's kind of funny to think that all of these movies take place within a week.

3½ markers out of 5

Juror #2 (2024)

Clint Eastwood directed this film at 93. How useless do you feel right now?

A highly fascinating legal drama about a juror who realizes he may have been complicit in the case at hand. To say any more would be a disservice to the mystery that's masterfully crafted and the moral quandaries it raises. "Beast" star Nicholas Hoult reunites with Toni Collette 20 years after About a Boy.

A clever twist on the 12 Angry Men formula.

3 miscarriages of justice out of 5

Jackpot! (2024)

God, this movie was so fucking dumb, but it's kinda fun if you buy into its wacky premise. In the near future, California hosts a Grand Lottery, whereby the winner must survive by sundown in order to collect their winnings. In the meantime, everyone has carte blanche to kill the ticket holder and take it for themselves (the only caveat being that no guns are allowed). It's basically The Purge: Lottery Edition. Which makes less sense the more you think about it, but it's just a flimsy excuse for ultra levels of violence and over-the-top mayhem. I like Awkwafina and John Cena so I enjoyed it enough, although the bloopers at the end were probably the best part of the whole enterprise.

1½ Machine Gun Kelly panic rooms out of 5

Jules (2023)

This movie made me very emotional for reasons I can't quite explain. The central theme being that older people really need company. Ben Kingsley is completely sympathetic as the widower exhibiting early signs of senility who finds a crashed spaceship in his backyard. But since he's old, of course no one will believe him. It's a very sweet and charming story with a touching message at the heart of it, although the serious issues are treated solemnly without sugar-coating anything. It's reminiscent of gentle science fiction such as E.T. or Cocoon. I thought it was a beautiful film and I absolutely cherish it.

4 dead cats out of 5

Jason X (2002)

"Unfortunately, some people who were too smart for their own good felt that a creature that couldn't be killed was simply too valuable to just file away. In the end, it always comes down to money."

In the distant future (2008), Jason is finally caught and sentenced for his crimes. Since he's unable to be executed, he's instead cryogenically frozen. He's uncovered in 2455 when a group of archaeologists discover him and unwittingly bring him back to life. This is actually a pretty solid setup for a futuristic movie, but sadly, the ingenuity ends there. The popular trope has always been to send the baddie to space once you've run out of ideas, but there is a knowing, tongue-in-cheek appeal to this movie, despite the fact that we're merely transposing the gory kills from the woods to a space shuttle. The CGI is probably the most glaring part of this because, as shitty as these movies are, at least the best ones were steeped in practical make-up and special effects. While there is a certain charm attached to early 2000s CG for those who grew up in that era, this film is hard to recommend to anyone but the most diehard of Friday fans.

This was essentially the last of the standalone Jason films; he went on to do battle with Freddy Krueger a year later in Freddy vs. Jason, then had a failed remake in 2009. And he's remained dead ever since (except in the hearts of horror fans).

1 Über Jason out of 5

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

It's the FINAL movie this time, guys! Promise!

This one has a kind of charm to it, although it's admittedly a huge mess. It attempts to establish a different tone from its predecessors and lean further into supernatural territory, which didn't go over well with many fans. However, there are lots of fun nods to horror directors and other films that reward a sharp eye. I'm giving it a lot more credit than it deserves, but I'm starting to warm up to the character.

The ending of this movie was a tease that would take another 10 years to come to fruition.

1½ Necronomicons out of 5