Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991)

A Hong Kong martial arts movie based on a Japanese manga, Riki-Oh is a strange one. It begins with the titular fighter (played by Fan Siu-Wong) being incarcerated in a privatised prison, a facility with a stylised use of space. He quickly gets on the wrong side of the prison's deadliest occupants, including a hook-handed assistant warden. However, the greater the challenge, the more determinedly the super-human Ricky rises to meet it.
The infamous level of violence in the film is over-the-top ridiculous, but it occasionally crosses the line into gorily disturbing. Happily, the simplistic plot does at least attempt to give Ricky a streak of noble sensitivity.
Fei Lit Chan's minimalist, almost Carpenter-esque music was my favourite part.

2½ chest bullets out of 5

Election: Volume 2 (2006)

Known as 'Triad Election' in the USA.

It’s been two years since the last Election. Tradition dictates the current chairman must step down and make way for new blood, but, unsurprisingly, he’s reluctant to do so. His continued lust for power creates new tensions and new rivalries within the secret organisation.
In some ways it’s the same old situation, but the motivations for some of the characters are new. Johnnie To wisely lets the story dictate the direction and in so doing achieves the near impossible: he has us not only respecting but actively cheering for a murderous villain. The violence is swift and brutal, earning it a Cat III rating.

3½ bowls of chum out of 5

Election: Volume 1 (2005)

Every two years the Wo Shing society (Triads) hold an election to appoint a new leader. It’s hoped that he will respect the society’s traditions and lead them into prosperity until the next election comes around. But what if the losing candidate doesn't like to lose? What then?
This first volume (of two) is less stylised than some of Johnnie To’s other films and consequently a lot more believable. For most of the running time it not only gives the impression that the events portrayed on-screen could happen, but that that they actually do happen within that world.

3½ expirations out of 5

Naked Killer 2 (1993)

The sequel has almost nothing in common with the original Naked Killer (1992) besides the name and a few actors. Both Chingmy Yau and Simon Yam return but neither of them portray the same character. I suspect either Wong Jing took another script he was working on and gave it a new title, or someone in marketing did, hoping we’d swallow it.
The trailer makes it appear something it's not.

If you can forget that you've been cheated and judge on its own merits you’ll find an average thriller with an uncomfortable plot that revolves around sexual violence.

2 house traps out of 5

Naked Killer (1992)

A Category III from China that’s got an actual plot shoved between the tits and ass! A woman is trained to become an assassin but falls for the cop that’s investigating her. Trouble ensues; clothed and unclothed.
It’s also got some stylishly balletic action scenes that owe a lot to the cinematic style of John Woo (don’t they always?). It’s a violent affair but there are a lot of things underdeveloped that, had they been given more attention, would've made it a much better film. Nevertheless, it's certainly one of the more interesting and successful entries in the genre.

3 sausages and scissors out of 5

A Chinese Torture Chamber Story (1994)

A Category III from China that sacrifices any kind of coherent plot so it can squeeze in more sexy times. It also has some rather extreme misogynist violence and, as the title suggests, scenes of torture.
The highlight was a hilarious scene in a moonlit forest, filled with the kind of wire-work that even Tsui Hark would be proud of.

1 nipple device out of 5

Lust, Caution (2007)

It should be renamed Slow, Caution.
The sumptuous lighting and quality acting can't disguise the fact that it moves at a snail's pace; a lame snail drunk on saline.

2 games of Mahjong out of 5

Ab-normal Beauty (2004)

Aka: Sei mong se jun

Art student gets bored being pretentious and snobbish while photographing birds and buildings, so finds a morbid subject matter to get her jollies. For a brief moment it gets interesting, but plummets into stylised torture-porn bullshit that made me yearn for the birds and buildings again, at least they had hidden depths.

0 no, I don't care about your shitty art out of 5

Sex and Zen (1991)

aka: Yu pu tuan zhi: Tou qing bao jian

One of China’s most famous Category III films is a weird experience. A scholar wants to hump his way through the female population, but only has a tiny mouse penis, so he replaces it with a horse penis (literally) and the remainder of the film documents his sexual exploits.
Perhaps I've gotten too old to appreciate shallow, soft-core, female nipple-rubbing, comedy-porn from Asia; that’s a depressing thought.

1 wrong way to play a flute out of 5