Butterfly and Sword (1993)

Aka: San Lau Sing Woo Dip Gim

Take some flying assassins, arms, legs and heads severed frequently, beautiful women and an awkward love triangle, add to giant pot and stir. The resulting mix has action galore but some very clumsy storytelling interspersed. It's an adaptation of a martial arts novel by Gu Long, but I've no idea how faithful it is. Best bit: a sword technique where the hero literally rips through the torso of an antagonist and comes out his back! Jebus wept! It’s brutal and hilarious all at the same time.

3 bamboo and bendy swords out of 5

Sex and Zen (1991)

aka: Yu pu tuan zhi: Tou qing bao jian

One of China’s most famous Category III films is a weird experience. A scholar wants to hump his way through the female population, but only has a tiny mouse penis, so he replaces it with a horse penis (literally) and the remainder of the film documents his sexual exploits.
Perhaps I've gotten too old to appreciate shallow, soft-core, female nipple-rubbing, comedy-porn from Asia; that’s a depressing thought.

1 wrong way to play a flute out of 5