One Night Only (2026)

The Purge, but for fucking. In an increasingly repressive society where pre-martial relations are punishable by law, a chastity mandate has been put into place, with an exemption that for one night of the year, singles get to have at it. Now introduce the two sweetest characters with hearts of gold and have them "meet ugly" during a series of fun and charming misadventures across the city. Yes, I hated this rom-com premise entirely on principle, but it quickly won me over. Of course, it's easy to get fucked when everyone has a six-pack.

3 condom shortages out of 5

Eternity (2025)

After death, a woman must choose between eternity with her first husband, who was cut down in the prime of his life, or her second husband, who she spent the last 65 years of her life with. It's a fascinating way to explore a love triangle, with cosmic implications. In terms of afterlife romantic comedies, it can't help but bring to mind Defending Your Life, and I mean that favorably.

3½ pretzels out of 5