THE ADVENTURES OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN [1988]

Pure Gilliam universe with innocence and childlike fantasy sprinkled over the bizarre.

Wonderfully imaginative with odd characters galore.

4 "Was That Sting?"s out of 5

Dear Wendy (2005)

What’s the collective noun for socially awkward misfits that form a pacifist gun club with an idyllic sense of right and wrong? They're Dandies. They're empowered. Shit gets real. It's a western of sorts on what resembles an unused Gus Van Sant backlot. Good times.

3½ testicle straps out of 5

In the Name of the King (2008)

A Uwe Boll film. It's Boll-esque. It's Boll-ox.

0½ FFW button out of 5

L'héritage (2006)

Two days on a bus for three free and easy hipsters takes an unexpected turn when an old man boards with an empty casket and a dutiful grandson.
Heritage and inheritance play a vital role in a very slow and deeply engaging film made with reverence. Hollywood this is not.

2½ baked potatoes out of 5

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 (2010)

Doors slam. Babies float. Fires start. Lights flicker. Cuckoo snores.

Watch the first one again and save your time if this is even your kind of thing in the first place.

It's just plain boring with a FEW mediocre scares.

1½ Possessed Pool Cleaners out of 5

TOY STORY 3 (2010)

Pixar hits the jackpot again with near perfection.
3rd chapters usually walk in a little worn out and ready to be put down. Not Toy Story. It retains freshness like you kept it in the box.
Ned Beatty steals the show.
Humor, action and warmth are so perfectly timed.

4 Hidden Totoro's out of 5

Salinui chueok (Memories Of Murder) - 2003

Clumsy & silly first act of this Korean mystery thriller almost turns you off.

Excellent believable characters, setting and ending make up for it.

3.5 panties on the head out of 5

The Myth (2005)

Archaeologist Chan flits between his past and his present.

An interesting concept let down by bad CGI and clumsy scripting.
Seeing Chan on a wire saddens me.

Succeeds when it resembles Armour of God (1986), but is ultimately a Chinese wolf in Hollywood clothing.

1½ fake horses out of 5

KYNODONTAS (Dogtooth) - 2009

I have never seen a Greek movie before this.

They are creepy, icky, disturbing, hilarious and insanely weird.

Nothing quite like this.

4 zombies out of 5.

Urotsukidōji - Legend of the Demon Womb (1991)

Throwing caution and continuity to the wind, the Overfiend is back for sloppy seconds, and sloppy they are. With diabolical Nazis it’s a diabolical mess. It deals with friendship, family, paranoia and loss (all the happy things) and they still find room to squeeze in some tentacle porn. Avoid.

1 exploding sex machine out of 5

WRECKED (2011)

Adrien Brody crashes his car and is confused.
Is he in The Canadas?
Who is he? Where is he?
Why did the trailer give absolutely EVERYTHING away?
Use The Jaws Of Life to cut this car wreck in half and Adrien Brody wouldn't have been so bored.

2 Car Wrecks out of 5

Urotsukidōji - Legend of the Overfiend (1991)

Infamous Japanese tentacle-porn anime. Watching is like finding out your perverted nephew has drawn penises on your HP Lovecraft collection during awkward school hours.

Creation in its purest form.

Sex and death.

Starts rude and ends surprisingly shrewd.  

2 phallic tentacles out of 5