V/H/S 2 [2013]

V/H/S 2's setup is pretty much exactly the same as the first in the anthology horror series, only this time around it's quite a bit more entertaining and tightly paced.
With The Raid: Redemption's Gareth Evans, Lovely Molly's Eduardo Sánchez and Hobo With A Shotgun's Jason Eisener on board as directors, you're pretty much guaranteed schlocky twisted fun.  It's not exactly high art and it's never particularly scary but it packs in enough laughs, gore and weirdness to end up being highly enjoyable.

3 doggy cams out of 5

MUD [2013]

Director Jeff Nichols is fast becoming one of my favorite film-makers of odd slow-burning dramas.
The haunted coming-of-age Mark Twain-esque drama Mud is no exception.
I once disliked Matthew McConaughey but he continues to impress me with his more recent choices in roles.  It's almost as if he's been taking acting lessons from his pot-smoking buddy Woody Harrelson.  Mud explores a beauty in a part of the world and it's people we're not used to seeing in such a light and Nichols succeeds without so much as a flaw.  Already half-way through the year, I can't imagine any other film in 2013 that will be as impressive as this one.

5 tree boats out of 5

JACK REACHER [2012]

5' 7" actor Tom Cruise plays 6'5" title character Jack Reacher in Chris McQuarrie's adaptation of Lee Child's 9th Reacher novel One Shot.
The novel has a nihilistic gritty noir feel to it that is almost completely lost in the film, instead making Cruise look like some sort of moody white knight.  Although Cruise is effective and quite believable as a trained ass-kicker it's his embarrassing ego that gets in the way.  Who does this guy think he is?  The duller than dull script is atrociously forced and seems like Little Man Scientology rewrote it himself with something to prove and just came off as a conceded schmuck.  

1 parking meter out of 5

Cube (1997)

Cube drops you into the middle of a story with no clue how or why you’re there, and then drags you along for the ride whether you want to go or not; if you love film, you’ll want to go.
It’s essentially a kind of existential theatre with characters designed for a very specific purpose; there are no third wheels. The claustrophobic atmosphere is effectively uncomfortable but isn't overwhelming.
It was shot in just 21 days on a handheld camera; there’s no steadicam but you’d never know! The more you learn about the production the more amazing it gets. It shows what you can do with one room (14 x 14 feet), creative lighting and a story worth telling. Good job, Canada, more films like this, please.

4 complex equations out of 5

Bagdad Café (1987)

aka Out of Rosenheim

An odd German film (in English) that begins with stylised editing and skewed camera angles that seem amateurish and irritating. In retrospect, that lack of finesse was most likely intentional, because, while it’s a long time coming, when it finally settles down and lets the characters come to the fore it turns into something wonderfully uplifting.
It’s a comedy (eventually), but not the laugh out loud kind; to say any more than that would ruin the surprise.
The real star was Marianne Sägebrecht. I’d seen her in support roles before but never in anything that gave her the opportunity to shine as brightly as she did in this. She was fantastic.

3 cups of magic coffee out of 5

Keeper of the Flame (1942)

War correspondent Steve O'Malley (Tracy) aspires to write a posthumous biography of an American hero who kept his private life a closely guarded secret. O'Malley’s investigations lead him to the widow Christine (Hepburn), who puts his motivations and commitment to the truth to the test.
A number of lengthy scenes let the actors work their craft well, but after a strong start the story fails to sustain the sense of intrigue it set out to explore. Instead, it takes on a rather dry and occasionally dreary political aspect that left me bored and uninvolved with much of the second half.  It’s certainly not the 'fiery love drama' the original one sheet promised.

2½ trumpets blown out of 5

Stargate (1994)

SG is often billed as an action movie, but the Emmerich style explosions aren't as heavy-handed as they’d eventually become. Instead, it’s a sci-fi drama that draws a line from ancient Egyptian mythology to modern day military exploration. The plot is so full of holes that it’s like a giant sand sieve, but it doesn't lessen my enjoyment of it.
James Spader is engaging and believable (even if his leaps of logic aren't) as the linguist with a bad case of dweeb. With the exception of Kurt Russell's flat top (it’s like a plateau) and some occasional CGI the film looks almost as good today as it did in ’94.

3 reactivations out of 5

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2 [2012]

Bill Condon drags his feet into the director's chair for the final instalment of the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Part 2.
What's up with that creep CGI little kid face?  I don't understand why they did that.  It's just wiggins.
The film needed more Michael Sheen.  He's so delightfully evil and is great fun to watch him chew up whatever scenes he was in.
...and the ending?  It was actually kind of cool and then [insert spoiler here].  Did they really resort to such a cop out?  Terrible.  Just terrible.
I have the trots because of it, which would explain the half-assed Nut I slapped together for this one.

2 go away scary baby face thing out of 5

APOCALYPTO [2006]

Apocalypto is Mel Gibson's immensely violent action/adventure set during the decline of the Mayan kingdoms.
Beautifully shot and perfectly paced, the film's enjoyability is lessened by the intensity of the some of the violence.  I get the feeling Gibson really really enjoys depicting violence for his own enjoyment and nothing else.  Once you get past all that, the film is an interesting adventure film that transports the viewer back into a world that's never really been explored in film.
...and who knew a half hour chase scene only on foot could be so thrilling?

3½ rolling heads out of 5

THE GIRL [2012]

Coming out the same year as the Anthony Hopkins led Hitchcock is a bit unfortunate for director Julian Jarrold's Alfred Hitchcock biopic The Girl.
While Hitchcock covered the relationship between The Fatman and Janet Leigh on the Psycho set, The Girl explores the director's bizarre obsession with Tippi Hedren while making The Birds and Marnie.  Unlike Hopkins & co, Toby Jones and Sienna Miller never really distract you with their starpower and instead allow the viewer to believe in the parts they're playing.  Unfortunately the film doesn't really do a great job at evenly juggling the two leads and instead fails in really letting us inside the lives of either of them.  Still, it's better than Hitchcock but could have benefited from not feeling so rushed.

3½ mechanical birds out of 5

THE DEBT [2011]

Director John Madden lays down some effective tension in the British remake of the Israeli dramatic espionage thriller The Debt.
Hopping back and forth through time, the film's cast is probably the most outstanding part of the film as we get to know them during different ages of their lives.  Filled with mesmerizing twists & turns and some excellent tension between the 3 protagonists, The Debt is the type of smart, sleek  character driven thriller that doesn't come around enough.

4 Surgeons of Birkenau out of 5

LABYRINTH [1986]

Jim Henson, George Lucas and Monty Python's Terry Jones team-up for the bizarre fantasy film Labyrinth.  A complete box office failure that nearly destroyed Henson's drive, the film gained a heavy cult following over the years with it's dazzling visuals, amazing puppetry and of course David Bowie's lump.  Sadly the story is pretty thin, lessened even more with the blandness of Jennifer Connelly's leading character and a narrative that never quite gets on it's own two feet.  Still, Henson's ambition and creativity can't go unnoticed and raises the film above its heavy faults.

3 rooms of Relativity out of 5

Sleepwalkers (1992)

Mick Garris must really like Stephen King. This was his first attempt at adapting one of King’s ideas (it was an original screenplay) into a feature and it’s as shitty as most of the subsequent attempts.
There's some successful comedy moments and some not so successful.
Alice Krige is good, and… no, that’s it really.

1½ kitty cats out of 5

Brother (2000)

Kitano plays a hard-edged Japanese yakuza exiled to L.A. He doesn't speak the language or respect the pecking order. Instead of being the awkward fish out of water he remains a big fish but in a different pond; the only problem with that scenario is that the pond is already well-stocked with Mafia.
It’s a Japanese/British co-production that some hoped would bridge a divide, but (thankfully) it turned out 100% Kitano because he wrote, directed, edited, starred and got regular composer Joe Hisaishi to score.

4 long shots out of 5

Cypher (2002)

A clever but never convoluted sci-fi thriller about corporate espionage that throws in some Philip K. Dick style plot twists on the themes of individuality and identity. Visually it mimics the corporate world of cold greys and silvers that Hollywood seems to think works and, I believe, it does so in an ironic way. It plays around with the medium while simultaneously playing to its strengths.
Director Natali also toys with the traditional enigmatic femme fatale idea, making Lucy Liu more untrustworthy than usual, or is she? The protagonist doesn't know and neither do we, because in a Hitchcockian way we get drip-fed information at the same time as him.

3 chess pieces out of 5