Alien³ (1992 / 2003)

It's as bleak as a British winter and it'll piss off many fans of Aliens (1986), but I doubt pleasing Cameron's crowd was ever on the agenda of the creative team. If you've seen the Theatrical Cut, then you'll know how messy and lifeless it was. Fincher declined an invitation to do a Dir. Cut himself, so instead we got an Assembly Cut (by editor David Crowther?) that takes a xenomorph sized shit all over the studio's preferred version.

The bad CGI and hasty rewrites are still evident, but the forced camaraderie, the crushing despair and the multiple malignancies are more tightly woven into the narrative structure. Ultimately, if you're a fan of the series and haven't seen the 2003 version, then you really ought to.

1992 Cut: 2½ wall-runs out of 5 | 2003 Cut: 3½ parental instincts out of 5

Doctor Who: The Movie (1996)

A joint UK and US production set in San Francisco (but filmed in Canada) that was intended to kick-start an American approved version of Dr Who. Paul McGann takes on the role of the eighth Doctor and other than the title music and iconic TARDIS exterior he's the only aspect of it that feels like it belongs. The shift in style to a more 'serious drama' and a misguided pandering to the target audience meant it was stripped of almost everything that had made the original TV venture interesting in the interesting in the first place.
I'm glad it didn't go to series but also saddened that McGann didn't get another proper shot at the role onscreen, because he'd the skills to make it work.

1½ jelly babies out of 5

Withnail & I (1987)

London. 1969. Depressing and dank. No one wants to do the dishes in the sink. Two out of work actors live in a den of booze and self-pity. They decide to get away to the country for a new perspective, but things are never that simple with Withnail. Both Paul McGann and Richard E. Grant give the best performances of their careers as the boozing no-hopers on the verge of a meltdown. Misery is funny when it’s someone else’s. Classic British cult comedy. I've known a Withnail in real life. Hateful guy.

4 prancing like a tit out of 5