HERCULES [2014]

If the idea of Brett Ratner directing The Rock with a dead cat on his head appeals to you then Hercules is definitely for you.  If not, then you should know to steer clear because it makes no attempt to hide that is means to be nothing more than a guilty pleasure.
Instead of shaping him up to be the near-invincible super human that he is in the usual stories, Hercules is a mere mortal with the powerful charisma to lead armies and charm the pants off you.  Dwayne Johnson was born to play this role with his camera-friendly looks and personality, as he never takes himself too seriously.  Like Stephen Sommers' Mummy films, the pacing of this consciously hokey film is lighting quick with it's enjoyable action sequences, dazzling special effects, entertaining supporting cast and perfectly timed humor.

3 headed dogs out of 5

CHERNOBYL DIARIES [2012]

Chernobyl Diaries had the haunting premise, setting and atmosphere to be a truly frightening horror film and it breaks my heart to see it completely waste that wonderful opportunity.  

Written by Paranormal Activitiy's Oren Pali and 2 guys who usually write for The Asylum films should have tipped me off how "bleh" this was going to be.  The characters are so paper thin it's hard to hate or like them when they get in these situations void of any suspense or scares.   

Yawn.  Longest 86 minutes ever.

1 fucking radioactive bear from Hell out of 5