Wuthering Heights (2026)

Adapted for the screen many times, this "fresh" take on Emily Brontë's Victorian era romance borrows the basic concept and takes great liberties.

Catherine and Heathcliff are foster siblings who grow up penniless but infatuated with one another. The intensity of their relationship endures the turbulence of jealousy, avarice and betrayal. Anyone who knows the source material knows this is not a happy story, but it's a dreary rendition. Visually, it pleases the senses, but it's substantially more style than substance. This is a dreadfully depressing and protracted melodrama about doomed love, though not as "horny" as originally advertised. It's more of a sick tease than anything.

2 broken eggs out of 5

Saltburn (2023)

A pitch-black comedic thriller about a lower-class university student that develops a crush on his rich classmate who invites him to spend the summer at his family's mansion, where he quickly adopts their hedonistic lifestyle. The excesses in this movie rubbed me the wrong way the whole way through, until you finally realize the stakes of just what is happening here. Will push buttons and engage the audience ick factor more than once, but it's worth the price of admission. The end result is rather twisted and insane, but kind of brilliant.

3½ sips of bath water out of 5