Planes (2013)

I was expecting Planes to be aggressively awful. It's a spin-off of Pixar's worst franchise, it's made by the usually awful DisneyToon, and it starred Dane Cook, who makes everything a little bit worse. The odds were stacked against it in every way.

What I got was something aggressively bland. There's nothing particularly good or bad about Planes. There are stock characters, a predictable storyline, and serviceable voice acting. I thought the movie was going to make me want to pull my hair out, but it was just sort of there until it wasn't anymore, and it ended more quickly than I expected. For kids like the one I took, Planes should be a great experience. For everyone else, it's a great time to plan out your grocery list.

1.5 at least the Top Gun thing was sort of clever out of 5