THE ONES BELOW [2015]

Hanna & The Night Manager screenwriter David Farr makes his directorial debut with his 90's inspired thriller The Ones Below.
Two pregnant couples move into an English flat, one couple sickeningly happy in life and the other weird, weird and more weird...so naturally things get intense ala The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Pacific Heights, The Crush, The Temp...well, you get it.
It's a light piece of fluff that misses all it's marks to be anything remotely suspenseful, thrilling or unpredictable.  There's far too many far-fetched plot-points and character bits to make it the least bit believable.  However Harry Potter vet Clémence Poésy gives in a pretty wonderful performance that will make it a fine film to catch in the middle of the afternoon on The Woman's Network.

2 darned cats out of 5

THE CHILDREN [2008]

I love it when a horror movie soars high above any sort of expectations I might have had.
Tom Shankland's The Children is one of those films.
It's brutally remorseless, bursting at the seams with tension and effectively scary in broad daylight.  We never really get to know what the hell is actually going on or how it came about but it doesn't matter because everything else is so carefully executed it benefits from not knowing.  I loved the camerawork and imagery, all of which was so cleverly edited your imagination makes it grislier than it actually is.  It's a simple concept with a lot of wit and thought put into it to never feel silly or dumb as it could have been in somebody else's hands.

4 Sigur Rós tattoos out of 5

The Bank Job (2008)

No prizes for guessing what TBJ's about. The Stath heads up a British crime film that appears to have been made in the 70’s but also manages to feel completely modern. With so much taupe and camel tones on display the entire cast could've just stepped off the set of The Sweeney. It’s based on true events about a cover-up involving the British aristocracy and, obviously, a bank job. It's a quality film that slipped under many people's radar.

3½ artful dodgers out of 5