ORDINARY WORLD [2016]

Writer/director Lee Kirk directs Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong in his first leading role in the genre-confused Ordinary World.
Armstrong portrays a musician turned husband & father who's lost in life as he's about to turn 40, which leads him to make some midlife crisis inspired choices that don't bode well for him.
Armstrong's performance goes back and forth between horribly forced to some touching moments that feel genuinely organic.  However it's Kirk's writing and directing that let the whole film sink.  He's not sure if he's got a crazy out-of-control party movie, a coming-of-age story or a warm 'n fuzzy family film on his hands and only proves Judd Apatow actually knows what he's doing when he seamlessly mixes all those elements together.  It's a mess of a film that barely holds together with it's generally likable cast of characters and predictable but warm good-heartedness.

2½ dogs in the hallways out of 5

The Fog (2005)

John Carpenter's version of The Fog didn't have much of a plot. but it made up for it by having a lot of atmosphere, some great music, and some decent actors. This one doesn't have much of anything going for it.

There's Tom Welling, who's very far from the Kent farm, looking lost and out of his depth. Then there's Selma Blair at the radio station; she was barely tolerable in the Hellboy films, but doesn't do anything here to remove the whiff of shite from the remainder of her CV. She's perhaps the worst thing in a barrel of worst things.

0½ a missing clapper out of 5

Hellboy: Blood and Iron (2007)

Second outing for the animated BPRD and this time it hits the mark. It's more of the Poe and less of the Lovecraft. John Hurt is back for the good times.

It might scare the young 'uns in places. They'll love that.

Why wasn't there a 3rd one, dammit?!

3½ evil spooky things out of 5

Hellboy: Sword of Storms (2006)

The animation lies somewhere between the comics and the films. With cloven feet and many of the film cast on voice duties, it feels authentic and complementary to both mediums.  

The big red gets tangled up in Japanese folklore.

It's a little underdeveloped, but it's got heart and spiders.

2½ floating heads out of 5

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

Red man, pale twins, blue man, hot girl, smoke and mirrors and tooth faeries. What more could you want? Like the first one only bigger and funnier. On the flip side, less structured. Ignore the obvious flaws and frolic in Guillermo's imagination for two hours. You'll thank yourself for it.

4 fugly trolls out of 5

Hellboy (2004)

Lots of good things are red. Fire trucks. Apples. Wine. Roses. Ballet shoes. Sports cars. Albino bunny eyes. Rivers of blood. Best of all is Hellboy.

A sketchy first ten minutes don’t mar the role Ron Perlman was born to play.

It's a comic book film for everyone, not just nerds.

4 kittens (safe) in a box out of 5