Hot Frosty (2024)

*sigh*

Why do I do this to myself, you might ask? Because I fucking hate myself, that's why. Why else would I tune into an "update" of the Frosty story featuring the snowman as an anthropomorphized hot dude? Jesus fucking Christ, what has Christmas become? A frigid woman sees a chiseled ice sculpture of a snow-bro in the park who is somehow brought to life by a magical scarf. That's it. That's the movie. Every woman's fantasy, I guess?

In all seriousness, this is a tongue-in-cheek take on Hallmark films and it knows exactly how ridiculous the premise is. That doesn't excuse it from being a steaming pile of yellow snow, but at least it's self-aware enough to not take itself seriously. There is a sweet innocence about the character that reminded me a bit of Elf because he's always trying to help everyone out.

What becomes most apparent is that life is that much easier when you're hot.

2 just get it over with and fuck already out of 5

The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015)

aka February

In his directorial debut, Oz Perkins crafts a non-traditional horror film about loss and the evil which lurks within absence. Heavily influenced by the style of David Lynch, scenes are slowly eaten up by uncomfortable pauses and seemingly mundane conversations carpeted by an unsettling score which gets under your skin. As a result, an atmosphere of intrigue is created, yet at times this method instills a lull instead. The editing ensures a cryptic nature to the story. This is one that will make more sense on a second viewing. The three young women spot lit (Emma Roberts, Kiernan Shipka, and Lucy Boynton) give methodical performances which add to the overall unease and lingering impression of the film.

3 heads in a row out of 5

DUMB & DUMBER [1994]

Peter & Bobby Farrelly's big-screen debut, the buddy road movie comedy, Dumb & Dumber, is exactly as the title advertises.
A slapstick, gross-out comedy classic that never tries to hide it's lack of intelligence behind all the gut-wrenchingly funny moments.  Jim Carrey is at the top of his game here but it's Jeff Daniels who surprises going against his usual typecast and never allows Carrey's antics to overshadow his comedy chops.  As gross as the film gets it's never mean-spirited and that's where it earns extra points with its good-natured characters that just don't get it.

3½ pretty birds out of 5