CATWOMAN [2004]

Some French guy who only goes by Pilof shamefully directs Catwoman, the notoriously stupid box-office bomb that most have tried to forget.
Patience Phillips is a mousy pushover who gains fancy superpowers and a sassy new attitude after she is killed and brought back to life from the smelly fish-breath of an invincible pussycat.
This movie isn't funny, clever, exciting or even remotely entertaining.
I buried it in my cat's litter box and the next morning, after Captain Whiskers urinated on it, a piece of moist cat-shit had appeared in it's place.
I prefer watching the moist cat-shit.

½ a furball out of 5

Flawless (2007)

The Saul Bass-esque art should clue you in on what the story is about, but what it doesn't convey is that it’s set in London during the sixties. Laura (Moore) is a capable woman under a glass ceiling, juggling business practices worth millions of pounds and striving to keep a healthy public façade. Hobbs (Caine) is a lowly cleaner, scrubbing floors on his hands and knees for minimum thanks. It's an unlikely pairing, for sure.
Environments are well-lit and beautifully decorated. Through careful timing it even manages to have us sympathising with thieves (not the ones in suits and ties). It’s a story that would work just as well as a novel as it does a film.

3 discretions out of 5

Rendez-vous (1985)

French erotic drama peopled by dysfunctional, selfish individuals that have nothing appealing about their character whatsoever. There was only one person I felt any sympathy for and he arrived late to the proceedings.
Strangely, it left me with more to think about after it ended than was apparent before the credits rolled.

2½ I'd kick that bitch out the door out of 5