Final Destination 3 (2006)

The key to this franchise's longevity and success is preying on fundamental fears that remain out of our control. Planes, car crashes, roller coasters going off the rails. The best parts of these movies are always in the first 20 minutes; then it all goes downhill from there.

2 tanning beds out of 5

Iron Monkey (1993)

A familiar set-up of a masked individual who steals from the rich to give to the poor; in this case the stealing is from a corrupt government official who hoards gold and obsesses over capturing the generous hero of the people.
The big difference is that it's a HK martial arts movie directed by Yuen Woo-ping. Combat is wildly impressive but very much on the fantastical side. The acting and ofttimes even the structure play second fiddle to it. But the skill of the performers is undeniably masterful, even from the film's youngest star, Angie Tsang (Tsang Sze-Man) as Wong Fei-Hung. Despite its failings elsewhere, Iron Monkey is a defining classic of the 90s martial arts genre.

4 named stances out of 5

Final Destination (2000)

Teen-movies have almost no value as films once you're out of your teens. Teen horror is the same. Screaming blondes that can only count to 5 because that’s how many fingers they have on one hand, or more likely how many dicks they sucked the night before in the barn, scream as they run and scream as they die! Final Destination is different; it’s a teen movie that kills off the irritating teens in happy joy-joy ways with almost no screaming. That's really its only appeal. The acting is bad. The editing is bad. The script is bad. The direction is bad. Even Tony Todd embarrassed himself.

1 hurry up and die in a ludicrous way or I'm hitting the stop button out of 5