Demonic Toys: Jack-Attack (2023)

A mute orphan girl inherits the killer Jack-in-the-Box from Demonic Toys in this standalone spin-off which ignores the "continuity" of the rest of the films. This time the horror is played straight for jump scares and gore, without any of the trademark series humor. The result is mostly boring and forgettable, like most of the glossy, "modern" Full Moon format. 

That's enough puppet movies for me this year. Stay tuned next Halloween!

1 wood-chipper out of 5

Baby Oopsie 3: Burn Baby Burn! (2022)

The thrilling conclusion to the Baby Oopsie saga (or is it?). This series is garbage and it knows it. By this point, the novelty is gone, but if you're a completist, you have to keep going or else risk the baby's wrath!

1 Toy Master out of 5

Baby Oopsie 2: Murder Dolls (2022)

This series goes off the rails quickly. Now there's three of them. Nothing much to add that isn't already conveyed by the poster above. This takes a big step down from the first feature because the focus is no longer on the lonely protagonist. The dolls have their day and leave it wide open for a threequel.

1½ hammer times out of 5

Baby Oopsie (2021)

I know what you're thinking...but this one actually ain't half bad! The foul-mouthed killer doll from Demonic Toys gets her own standalone series of films involving an obsessive doll collector named Sybil who is going through her own psychoses and breaks from reality. There's something about this character that reminds me of the reclusive guy from Human Centipede 2. And Baby Oopsie herself is basically just a Chucky clone who wreaks havoc in gory low-budget fashion. Once again, you have to be in a very specific frame of mind for this particular lunacy, but it manages to push the boundaries of bad taste into something resembling mild entertainment.

2½ hoarders out of 5

Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons (2010)

Hoo boy, this is not a good movie. But yet...it's charming somehow? I don't know how to explain it. It's fun in a trashy sort of way, even though it was made 18 years after the original and lacks the same charm of that era. I can't even defend my rating; for most people this would be an instant zero. You have to be pretty far gone to even call this entertainment.

2 magic boxes out of 5

Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys (2004)

With so much prior assembly required, what should have been an incredible concept ends up being a massive disappointment. Sadly, this was a SyFy Channel original movie, which means it was completely neutered for television standards. That means no gore, F-bombs or tits, so what's the point? Corey Feldman stars as André Toulon's great-grandnephew (which doesn't mean jack shit), but that doesn't make up for what potential was lost in this soulless corporate and creative compromise. On top of everything, this is considered more of a Christmas movie than horror. It attempts to pit the good guys (puppets) against the bad guys (toys), and it just plain sucks. Not even a self-censoring Baby Oopsie Daisy was enough to save this one.

½ a mechanical upgrade out of 5

Dollman vs. Demonic Toys (1993)

Before The Avengers teamed up in the MCU, we had low-budget trash like this to keep us occupied. Combining the characters from Dollman, Bad Channels and Demonic Toys, this was what the multiverse looked like in the early '90s. While you would think this would make the best movie ever, it just ends up being...mildly entertaining at best. It's fun to see Brick Bardo facing off against Baby Oopsie Daisy and Jack Attack, but most of this feature consists of clips from the earlier movies setting up the eventual showdown. The result is mostly forgettable, but if you've been investing in these movies for any amount of time, it's nothing short of epic. Kind of hard to recommend to a casual viewer; this is only for fans of Full Moon's particular brand of insanity.

2 baby inceptions out of 5

Demonic Toys (1992)

Let's face it. You have to be in the right mood for these types of movies. If you're looking for low-budget mayhem and cheap thrills, they're amazing. If you're looking for something more serious, the box art should have already tipped you off. You get what you see here.

All cards on the table, this movie is fucking hilarious. It's basically Puppet Master, except the toys speak and are foul-mouthed little bastards. Baby Oopsy Daisy in particular is a lovably filthy asshole. Unfortunately, this series doesn't get any better than this one.

3 dollhouses out of 5