JCVD (2008)

JCVD (the movie) stars JCVD (the man) as a fictionalised version of himself. A broke, luckless father who's involved in a custody battle for his daughter, he visits a nearby Post Office and gets embroiled in a hostage situation.

It's a silly but amusing idea, with some self-referential moments that are initially interesting. Additionally, it's the best acting that I’ve ever seen from Mr. VD, with a handful of impressive lengthy scenes engineered to challenge him. But every character is annoying, the running time drags and Mr Bastard's colour-drained palette of greys and browns make the film-world even more dreary than the remainder of the script managed on its own. All of which took a toll on me, and I struggled to make it as far as the end credits.

2½ ass-kissers out of 5