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Monday 25 August 2014

Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982)

Look at that cover! Just… wow! It’s like a ZX Spectrum game ripping off Tron (1982). And Fred Ward on a dirt bike? Are those Cowboys? Are we whizzing back in time to the Wild West? Sweet mother of fuck! How could I not watch it?! It can’t possibly be as entertaining as all that.
It isn’t. Top guy Lyle Swann farts around on his bike to a cheesy rock soundtrack for about a third of the entire film. There’s anachronistic shenanigans, a love interest (Belinda Bauer), gun-toting bad guys who were born to lose, a predictable paradox and then it ends.

1½ dusty tracks out of 5
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3 comments:

  1. Neg26 August 2014 at 01:02

    Sounds more ONORE DECADE than Ikuze, Ryoutarou~

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dr Faustus26 August 2014 at 10:05

    KR Swann would get cancelled.
    Unless it had a crossover with KR Gummer.
    No one but me has any idea what I’m talking about.
    No change, then. :(

    ReplyDelete
  3. Neg26 August 2014 at 11:32

    I'd say welcome to my world, but we clearly live in the same one :erm:

    ReplyDelete

“Where we’re going, we don’t need ________”
A) Mom’s permission. B) Roads. C) Pants.